How to dump my girlfriend?

Question

we've been going out for about 9 months and although it started out great I don't trust her anymore and i'm not happy. What words/situation is the most pain-free?

Answer 1

Face to face for sure...tell her your worries and reasoning and that's all you can do. Breakups are never easy and they never will be.

Answer 2

Well, first why do you not trust her?
After 9 months are the two of you still friends? Were you in the beggining? Why are you unhappy?

I think age, maturity, and the ability to see that the factors in a relationship are balanced by both parties is key to weather or not you ought to re-think you're idea of ending this relationship now.

There is no pain free way to do this. It's life that it will be unpleasant.

Fortunatly, ddepending on the circumnstances. . .there is always an answer for those willing to sacrifice.

Ask yourself: Why did you fall in love with this girl in the first place?

No day but, today. . .

if today was your last, would you want to work on this???


Fory

Answer 3

I hate that this sounds so cynical but in my experience with relationships there seems to be two types of people. There are givers and there are takers. That is not to say that you can’t be both, but the bottom line is we spend more time being one or the other. It's what we do when we are not thinking about it that is the true test of whether we are a giver or a taker. I’m sure we would all like to think that we are givers, but if we genuinely reflect upon our behavior with others many of us would discover otherwise.

When we are under stress such as in a fight with a loved one, does'nt’t it seem that the same person continually makes the greater effort to make-up? First to apologize; quick to forgive their partner even if the “taker” made a half hearted attempt at making a mends; that’s the “giver.” The person that pleads ignorance and seems to pretend as if the fight never occurred, going about there day as if they were not aware that their significant other is hurt; that’s the taker. In the best of relationships the two parties involved share the roles of giver and taker evenly, they compromise.

However our relationships with others are complicated by how we feel about ourselves. (For instance what did we grow up with in terms of parents, givers or takers?). Do we feel we have to take because we are convinced there aren’t any givers out there? Do we feel we deserve to take? Do we feel we have to give or others won’t care? The scenarios are endless and just thinking about them is exhausting. The reality of the situation is that it doesn’t really matter what happened in the past. What matters is what is happening right now. If your last relationship ended because the ratio of giving and taking was not to your liking, chalk it up to experience and learn from it.

Don’t be blind and continue to make the same mistakes with the same types of people. The reality that I wish to share with you that will transform your life is that the only truly happy and fulfilled people are the givers. How we treat others is directly linked to who we attract. We let into our lives people that treat us in similar ways. Giving begets giving. However you have to trust this to be true to let go and give it a shot. So the key is to be a giver. Practice giving of yourself to others. Giving to friends, family, even strangers will enrich your life beyond your current comprehension. It is the road to recovery that you need to focus now. Giving seems counter intuitive, but it works. It attracts those that give back as long as you recognize the difference between the two types. Say yes to those that reciprocate and not to those that do not.

So how is it that we learn to be a giver? Is there a class, a book to read, or is it just the personality of some people to be givers. The reality of the situation is that givers are created in essentially the same way that takers are. Givers start by giving to themselves. They treat themselves well. They understand and believe that they are worth the effort. If our site were to convey one message to you it would be to be good to yourself, as it is the basis for recovering from a break up. So start being a giver today and start with that person in the mirror.

Here is a cool little self help guide you might like. It's cheesy, but what the hell - it can't hurt...

Answer 4

FIRST OF ALL Y DON'T U TRUST HER? HAS SHE CHEATED ON U? IF SHE HAS THEN JUST DUMP HER U DON'T NEED 2 THINK ABOUT IT TWICE. JUST TELL HER THE TRUTH LET HER KNOW THAT U CAN NOT TRUST HER EVER AGAIN AND THAT IT'S OVER. Y B NICE 2 HER IF SHE CHEATED ON U. IF SHE DID NOT CHEAT ON U THEN U HAVE 2 GIVE A LITTLE MORE INFO AS 2 Y U DON'T TRUST HER AND WHAT MAKES U UNHAPPY.

Answer 5

You sound like a great guy!
There is no way to reject someone without pain.
Be honest don't delay,and do not be wishey-washey about it.
Don't place blame,call names or Cristie.
Let her know dating is a way to try out a relationship,and both parties need to be happy for it to continue
Good luck

Answer 6

No pain free answer to be had. Just sit down with her and tell her that it's over. Sort of like ripping off a band-aid, quick and over.

Answer 7

Sweet and simple:

We are both great people, just no longer great together. I wish you complete happiness and am interested in working on my own happiness at this stage of the game. Good luck and goodbye.

Answer 8

The worst thing to do is to play mind games with her. If you don't want her, be upfront and honest. If she is violent, tell her over the phone or at her crib just in case she throws a fit, she'd be breaking her stuff and not yours. If she isn't violent, tell her face to face in a private area.

Answer 9

Girl I love and all but I really want to be friends with you to tell you the truth it is not working out for me I love so much but there are better men out there for you ok.

Answer 10

Tell her the truth. Games only inflict more unnecessary pain.