Im 7 mos. pregnant, me & my baby's father broke up. Now he has a girlfriend & I think hes in love with her.Her & her two year old son lives in his apartment with him alot.He just recently left to go to the desert in California to train with other soldiers in preparing for Iraq.He'll be there for a month.When he comes back, our baby will be born a month later.Then he leaves 2 months later to Iraq for 1 year. Our daughter will only be 3 months old.He'll miss a whole year of his daughters life.Im still in love with him & want him back. Will she still be his girlfriend & will he still want her after that long period of time or is it possible that he'll come back to me within that time frame?
2007-01-11 02:57:32 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Dear, I think you should love yourself more! I know your situation is hard but you are making it harder by keep waiting for him!
If you broke up was for a reason, and you deserve better than a man who leaves his pregnant girlfriend behind!
I don't know if this other woman would wait for him that long, but you certanly shouldn't! Give your life another opportunity!
I know this is not what you want to hear but it is worst to keep your hopes up for something that is not really worthy!
2007-01-11 03:10:10 · answer #1 · answered by Angela Vicario 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly what you need to do is focus on you and your unborn childs health and overall well being right now. I know it sounds cold but you need to put the two of you first, don't worry about him. His life is about to go through some major changes; not only because of your child together but him leaving for Iraq in the next few months. Perhaps he is trying to distance himself from you now so that if something were to happen to him over there you and the baby won't greive too much. I don't know. I soldiers are very different that us citizens, it takes a special person to do what they are, knowing the circumstances that may follow. If I were you I would just play it cool and make no plans to even consider getting back with him until he has returned safe and sound. That place can really change a person.
2007-01-11 03:12:11 · answer #2 · answered by Sara G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all if he has moved on to someone else who already has a kid then more than likely he will not return to you until something happens with the other relationship. but you are a strong woman and dont need a man who is going to abandon you and your new child. your child doesnt even need to meet him if he is not willing to be a part of yours or your childs life. all that is going to do is cause heartache for you and your baby. he could wise up though before then, if he does then you need to make sure he knows that if you do get back together before or after the baby is born and then turns around and leaves again there will be no coming back because you cant go through life like that.
2007-01-11 03:07:15 · answer #3 · answered by merwin5236 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My twins' father left me when I was pregnant and they were born 3 1/2 months early and in the hospital for the majority of the first three months of their life. I have not thought once about ever taking that man back. You need to start worrying about your child and how you are going to teach her how to be a strong woman so she doesn't end up with a man who would even think about leaving her when she needs him most.
2007-01-12 14:23:58 · answer #4 · answered by amisisfaith 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand the way you feel. I was in a similar position as you are now in. I had to go through my entire pregnancy alone and I raise my son with financial assistance from his father. Honestly, I know it hurts and you will hurt for a long time especially when you think about your child and when the child is born into this world. My advice to you is to try and keep strong for your baby's sake, focus on more positive things like, setting up a nursery for the baby, going shopping, keeping yourself healthy and try your utmost to have a loving atmosphere for your baby. There will be times when you are frustrated but focus these feelings and turn into positive feelings instead, think about how much you love this child and how much joy he/she is going to bring into your life - nothing will compare to the feeling of joy you will have. As for the father of your baby, let him be, give him time, I am sure he will think of you and the baby and he will come on his own. Do not pressure him or you will drive him further away, at least let him have the option of forming a relationship with your child. One day he will realise the error he has made and how much he has missed out on his child's life. If you would like to chat more, feel free to mail me.
2007-01-11 05:46:32 · answer #5 · answered by daisy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is with someone else and living with her, it will be for the best to let him go. Instead of pinning for him, use all of that energy towards your daughter. She will need more love, more attention especially since her father will be going to Iraq soon.
You deserve to be with someone who wants you and only you. You do not want to be with someone who is or might be in love with another women. It isn't fair to you sweetie. I know you love him but if you love him like you say you do let him go. That is apart of loving someone, you want to give that person happiness and peace. Even though it isn't with you. I know this is hard to read but the truth always hurts. I am sorry.
Now with your daughter being only 3 months old when he leaves is for the best. My husband left for a year when our daughter was only 5 months. Each week I sent him pictures of her and her daily activities. He saw her on web cam mostly.
It will be hard but I think personally it was for the best. I would rather him go when he did, then now when she is a toddler.
Just stay in contact with him for your daughter. Send him as many pictures and write to him about your daughter and tell him of all of the wonderful things she is doing.
For your daughter keep a picture of him beside her crib so she sees him each morning and goes to sleep seeing his face. Tell her that her father loves her and he will be home soon.
I know this will also hurt but it is better for her to know her father even though she will be too young to remember. Good luck!
2007-01-11 03:14:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably not. If he is in the military make sure you apply for child support once your child is born. Make sure he is on the birth certificate as the father. If he denies being the father he can be forced by the courts to take a DNA test. Many women make the mistake of thinking they can care for child on their own after the father has left. Remembe: there is nothing noble about living in poverty.
2007-01-11 03:10:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
He won't come back to you. His eyes will always be wandering even if he does. He is the father of your child now and nothing more. I know this must hurt but make him a part of the child's life. That is the most important thing.
2007-01-11 03:04:24 · answer #8 · answered by 14 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say but its not likely. and if you really love this guy then you want him to happy even if its not with you so you go out there and find someone who is right for you.you are going to be a mom you need to think about that baby and not a man things will all work out for you in the end i do wish you the best of luck.
2007-01-11 03:12:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused because no one can really answer this question for you. Only time will tell and if you're pregnant with his child and he's with someone else are you sure you want him back? I mean he seems to be paying attention to an others child and it sounds that he may be ignoring his own responsibilities. I'd be rethinking this one, your heart may be lying to you.
2007-01-11 03:12:27 · answer #10 · answered by Laura S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋