Small children need lots of love and attention, why are they put in child care???

Question

It scares me how easily so many women put their children aside in order to pursue a career or go to work.
I understand some people honestly dont have any options, there are different circumstances in which child care is the only option. But wouldnt it be better to desire a smaller home, a cheap vehicle, live a simpler life than risk their children emotional and mental wellbeing?
Neglect is one of the most dangerous forms of child abuse and a child care cannot provide the love and attention a parent can give.

Answer 1

It's not the quantity, but the quality. There are plenty of children of stay at home moms that are just as screwed up as children that go to daycare.

Answer 2

You are right when you say that some don't have a choice and there are also others, many I imagine, that absolutely agonise over the decision. Every parent wants to do the best for their child and while care might not be ideal, it is better than leaving them at home with a ten year old looking after them who is also absent from school. Putting a child in care to better a career can pay off handsomely in the long run when financial security is achieved. Daycare also gives the child the oppurtunity to work on social skills that are so important, especially with only children.

Answer 3

I agree with some of the things you are saying, but neglecting their children is not one of them. For some women they like the idea of being called a Mom, but the reality of it is not something they want. I'm a stay at home Mom, we make sacrifices so I can stay home. A night out with my husband is few and far between. When over 50% of a person's paycheck goes towards the daycare bill, I don't see why people still choose to work. But, that's my opinion. Some working mothers might ask how I can stand being home with the kids all the time.

I just like the knowledge that if my kids misbehave, it's my fault. I can't blame it on daycare, which I think many mothers do. I never missed my kids first step or first word. They make me laugh everyday and the bond I have with them is wonderful. I wouldn't change my life for anything. My kids are never sick, don't throw tantrums in restuarants or at a store, and most of all they listen to ME. I don't like the idea of someone else raising my child, which is essentially what happens in daycare. I would miss the conversations and playtime with my kids. But again, it's a personal decision and you can't degrade someone because that is the life that they choose.

Answer 4

No choice. The facts are what they are: I work full time for a multitude of reasons, my home can't get any smaller, and my car although not fancy in any way must be safe and reliable to transport myself and my daughter. A simpler life? Give me a friggin break. I don't believe that I am even explaining this to you. Your question is insulting and infuriates me.

I am sure there are parents out there who don't think twice about dumping there kids at daycare while they go do their thing. And that's horrible. But my guess is your question is going to be read by mostly caring parents who would really rather not have to put their child in daycare. Myself included.

I am curious, do you have any children?

Answer 5

I think that if a parent (not just a woman...) has the financial capability to stay home with the small child, it is better for the child and the family as a unit. Of course, this depends on how the parent is interacting with the child. If the parent is totally involved with, and teaching and interacting with the child, then staying home is great. However, if the parent dumps the kid in a play-pen and watches TV or plays on the internet all day, then no - put the kid in daycare and get a job.
My husband is the stay at home parent for our baby - he doesn't get a lot done as far as housework goes, but my 9 month old daughter has a vocabulary of over 20 words already and is nearly walking. His entire day is devoted to teaching and playing with her.

Answer 6

I think you have a very narrow view of this subject. Certainly a daycare is no substitute for time with a parent, but to say that a child cannot be nurtured, loved and cared for while in daycare is wrong. The key is checking into the facility where your child will be taken and make sure that they are a good fit for your child and that they follow rules & regulations put in place for their industry.

Like you said, there are people who have to chose childcare because both parents (or many single parents) must work. You made broad statements amounting to "live with less" so you can spend more time with your children. However, the majority of the people in this country don't have two wage earners because they want bigger, better things, they do it because they need to be able to afford the necessities, and they have to be able to save up for things like a home of their own (which no matter how big or small, is everyone's right to work for and would provide a stable place for a child to grow up, as opposed to living in apartments and rentals their whole life...I speak from experience on this). There are also single parents who have no other option, as they are the only wage earner.

Now to say that you are risking a child's emotional well being by putting them in daycare is a falacy.....first, daycare helps socialize children, which is a HUGE skill they need to live happy, well-adjusted lives. This is not something children can get when they stay at home with their parents all the time, especially if they are an only child. Also, in many daycare facilities, children are exposed to activities that help them with learning and imagination...none of these are bad. If you think that a daycare environment is bad for children, then you might as well keep them out of school too....they are away from their parents most of the day, they spend time learning to adjust to and work with other people (socialization), they are being taught educational skills....are all the parents who send their children to school everyday also guilty of neglect and emotioanlly damaging their children?

Yes, you are entitled to your opinion, but you should look at the bigger picture whne making assumptions such as these....certainly it is not a good thing when a parent doesn't need to put their child in daycare and does it because they don't want the responsibility of caring for their own child during the day, but for those who either need to or feel that it is a necessity in order to obtain goals for the family, then one should not judge so harshly and be aware that a good daycare does not cause the damage that so many alarmists like to claim.

Answer 7

In alot of cases especially single mothers, they have no real options...they have to work to give the child a decent life because they get no help from the sperm donor. And then again if they do get child support that is still not enough to keep the woman home. So see she is doing her best and doing it for the best interest of the child.

I might add child day cares are not 100% safe but much safer than a persons home out of the classified where most child molestation would take place much easier than in a child daycare where many people are around.

Plus I might add these child day cares are starting to be required to feed and educate the children to a certain degree....so it is better than it appears.

Answer 8

Many parents are single and have to find the monetary means to live. Sometimes, putting a child in day care is the best option, even when it breaks the parent's heart to leave their baby at someone else's care. 2nd answer is that some parents just don't care about their children and their careers come first. The third answer is that women need a break. Taking care of a screaming baby all day long is enough to drive anyone nuts. Parents need some adult time away from the kids otherwise it could take a big toll on them, mentally and emotionally.

Answer 9

I work all day- 40 or more hours a week. My 2 year old goes to daycare from 7:40-5:10 pm. No matter how I cut the cake, staying at home is not, and will never be an option. I can go the cheap route all i want but it is unfair in my opinion to make my fiance go out every day and slave away when i am at home, not contributing financially. I like to have my own things- not real expensive things, but i have more than i would if i stayed at home. yeah- i could, but no i dont want to.

Childcare will never give what a parent can give a child, but when you need to work, you just need to. There is nothing wrong with being a working parent or a stay at home parent. Your child will still be shown love when you are there.

It is ok if you are overly financially able to be at home, but if not, you should work.

BTW- i have 2 other children who were in daycare as well, and they have grown up exceptionally well. They are god fearing, respectful, well adjusted and loving children. And they were in daycare from 6 weeks onward. So the nonsense of that they dont get everything they need if a parent isnt with them 100% of the time is bologna. Childcare is a tool- a helper of sort, as long as it is the right fit. My children learned to speak other languages before they were 5 from daycare- and i cant even speak another language. They learn to be social with others, adjust well to new environments and make new friends.

My brother kept his 3 children at home- and they were the most unsocial children in the world. They were clingy and crying all the time, didnt like to play with other children or anything. And when they finally did get to go to school, they were so scared that they had to pick the girls up almost every other day because they couldnt handle it.

Me on the other hand- i never had that problem. My children knew by the time tey got in school how to act and behave in a classroom setting. Not saying that at home kids dont, but i feel mine got more exposure prior to going so they were more prepared.

Answer 10

I didn't have a choice, left an abusive relationship to make their lives better, was single for 5 years so I had to work, to make their lives better, met a wonderful man 25 years ago-married him-he adopted them-still had to work to make ends meet, to make their lives better, do you see the pattern here. It isn't always a matter of choice, or a smaller house, or cheaper vehicle, sometimes it is a matter of necessity. By the way someone in the home taking care of a child is 50% more likely to abuse the child because there is no one watching. Don't knock daycare it has saved many children from being abused.....

Answer 11

What is wrong with being a mother and having a career? Just because a working mom has children in day care does not make her have children who are not loved enough or lack attention.
Who are we to judge what goes on when mom and the kids get home in the evening. The working moms are probaly the ones who give MOST of their attention to their children, because of the hours they work. They are the ones who probaly have the most quality time with their children.
Some people just can't afford to leave their jobs.
Some people are used to a "richer" liestyle and want to continue that after kids, so they go back to work.
POLL...How many people here were in day care, and now feel they were neglected and less loved by their parents?