How important is it to make a two-year old apologize after being in "time-out?"?

Question

He does know what "say sorry" means he just says "no."

He got a time-out for hitting me and everytime he refused to say sorry he stayed two more minutes until it had been almost an hour! He hadn't even had his breakfast yet and I started to feel like I was doing the wrong thing. I finally let him out without the apology but took away his favorite show.

Answer 1

The important thing is that they understand why they were in timeout and that they shouldnt do it again. I try to get my 2 year old to say she is sorry and sometimes she does and other times she doesnt. I just go on what she did to get put in time out. If she hurt one of her sisters then i enforce the apology but otherwise i just reiterate what she did wrong and try to convince her not to do it again. My two year old is difficult and i try to pick my battles with her or else i would be a raging maniac all day long. Good luck.

Answer 2

You should never force an apology. How would you feel if out on the street some women smacked you in the face and her husband said now that's not nice tell the lady you are sorry and she did. It isn't really an apology now is it. Kids will learn that all they have to say is sorry and it doesn't matter if they mean it or not. I've actually watched a child say sorry and then hit another child. They just don't get it, too self-involved at this age. What is more important is your reaction to the incident and the attention you give to the victim rather than the victimizer. You can ask them to help make the other child feel better (getting them some ice, a blanket, favorite toy, sippy cup) but again don't force it.

Answer 3

Well, it's good in theory but it doesn't, as you already know, always work. I think you have to keep trying but don't go overboard. Bring it up again at appropriate times and hope it sinks in. It'll take awhile but eventually it WILL sink in.

My 20 mo. old granddaughter pushed her 4 and a half year old sister off a rocking horse and as I chided her for it her face started looking more and more serious until I told her, "You tell your sister you're sorry." aThen she got a big grin on her face, tipped her head sideways (looking REALLY cute), grinned and said, "Sowwy" I had to turn away to keep from laughing. She knew she had to say she was sorry, she just didn't give a rip why.

Answer 4

Mine does the same thing but I tell him when hesready to say sorry he can come out. Well after sitting there for a few. He has a time out chair. I make him sit in it and he of course throws a fit and I just ignore it...after a few Ill say something like "now you can get up if yo uare ready to tell so and so sorry for hitting them or throwing something blah blah blah" he thinks for a min and after a few min he will go over and give a hug and say sorry. I think it is very important for him to know that he hurt someone or their feelings and it is important to say sorry and correct his wrong. My child is also 2. If he doesnt say sorry then he can continue to sit in time out until he is ready. But he has learned that you say sorry after your actions. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

You have to empahise on what is right and wrong. He needs to know what he did is no ok and needs to get use to apologizing when in wrong. He will learn, maybe he's just upset cause you took away his fav. show. Repeat this method and he will know the importance of apologizing.

Answer 6

I have a 2 yr old as well. He's made to apologize twice for each offense. One to me and one to whomever he's offended by saying something bad, not listening, or having a tantrum towards. He usually doesn't put up a fuss for having to say he's sorry. He says it for no reason now... Unless he's mad.. then the things he says isn't nice atall!! He ends up apologizing later on. It works out!

Answer 7

Like you said, he doesn't know what it means, he's two! Maybe try something he does know, like if you ask "you were naughty weren't you!" and he can say yes, and you can say "are you gonna bite your sister again?" and he can say NO... something along those lines, but in a context more to his age level. It IS important he understands why he was in time out though, so make sure you keep telling him what he's done wrong.


Sorry, i just re-read your question, and realised you said he DOES know what sorry means, I'm too tired to think of something different and edit it, so my advice is the same, I just realise I made a mistake is all :-)

Answer 8

hmmm I am a teacher and this is my solution to this. I use it everyday,
If you make a child say they are sorry, you are teaching them that sorry is a basket term to be use when you don't want to be in trouble. Sorry needs to mean somthing. First I would make sure that they understand that sorry means you truly feel bad about what you did...not that you got caught and at this age they will not grasp this concept. It is developmentally inprobable.

Answer 9

I think that if you start letting hinm get away with the little things now, then when he's a bit older you'll have your hands really full....
Maybe u should start watching super nanny.... Its a really good show
and it hepls you teach your own kids disipline.... and it actually teaches you what your doing right and wrong .

Answer 10

I don't think it's important at all. A two year old lacks empathy. They don't understand what I'm sorry means. I never made my oldest son say "I'm sorry". When he turned 3 he started saying it on his own when he knew something happened. An appology should come from the heart.....not because someone is making you say it.