Charity at nursery?

Question

She is 3 now. At least 3 times a year i get an envelope where she has to collect money on behalf of a charity. (they did it last year too, she was only doing 2 days a week then)
Always there is something attached to it at nursery. This time it is plant a spring bulb, last time it was fancy dress and the time before that it was a sponsored walk.
Now with this latest plant a bulb one it says on the envelope they can colour the pictures as they collect their money for charity. There is one flipping picture there so i will get her to colour it in and will give her a pound for her enveloppe. With a little note saying that the whole concept of cancer is rather difficult to explain to a 3-year old and so is the whole idea of charity.

What would you do? Harrass people for money through a 3-year old in the name of a cancer charity?
Or would you let her colour the one picture and put a £1 coin in as a token?

Answer 1

I hate fund raising in that kind of a situation. I agree with you-the child has NO concept of why they are doing it. I think that once they get into public school that is soon enough. I think it's important for a child to learn what charity is and that it's important to help others but I think they understand better if it's on a more personal level. Like if there is an elderly neighbor whose yard you can rake or something like that.

I'd go for explaining why she is doing it, letting her color and putting a token coin in. If the nursery doesn't like it explain why you feel that it's YOUR choice not theirs. And, hope they don't boot you out! :o) Good luck.

Answer 2

My four year old is seeing her Grandad go through treatment for cancer, so sometimes you do have to explain these things. We just say that Grandad isn't very well, and that he needs help to get better. To explain any charity thing at three that's probably all you need to say. Some people aren't as healthy/fortunate/well off(?) as we are, it's good to be able to help them and this is how we do it.

You'd be amazed at how kind and generous kids can be. We live in Houston, Texas, and when the Katrina refugees landed here, my almost 3 year old was capable of deciding to give some of her toys to the children who had lost all of theirs without any coersion on our part (she saw me cleaning out our clothes and when I told her why she just went and got some).

So, I think we can, and should, explain concept like charity to kids as young as possible. Fundraising like this at school is a different matter though. While something like dressing up, or a child buying one spring bulb is a nice idea, encouraging them to run up to strangers and ask for money is pretty much irresponsible (she'll be selling Girl Scout Cookies soon enough!). I'd be tempted to gauge the attitude of some of the other parents, and then get together to talk this over with the school director. One individual parent making a complaint/comment is easy to dismiss, but if they are aware that parents are organised enough to have a meeting they may be more willing to address the way they teach about charity.

Answer 3

I was so surprised when my kids startin gbringing this stuff home so soon! It is really a bad situation that the schools put parents. Of course you want to give, and you'd love to collect as much as you can for kids everywhere suffering from cancer. The truth of it is, they should just send a straightforward letter home asking for the donation and not even get the kids involoved. It is like a bait and swith to send it home that way and plant a seed in the children's head about this great little picture they get to colour in. Even at 3 years old, children can feel very left out if they return to school and they have no colour on their flower. Just as the person whose flower is coloured the most will, undoubtedly, at the very least get a big smile, if not a little shout out. It is so frustrating. I would have to say just put in a small donation so that she feels included and not try to solicit from anyone else. While the idea of explaining it to her now seems very noble, uness charity is something you do frequently (through church, red cross, etc.) and plan to involve your kids in at an early age, I really don't think it needs to be explained to her at this time.
Take Care.

Answer 4

I would let her color the picture and donate the money.

But, I would also meet with as many other parents as possible to discuss this further and then go as one to the teacher and the school personnel to voice your opinions. I'm sorry, the idea of trying to explain cancer to a 3 year old and that they cannot color their picture untill they hand over money is something I don't think I can countenance. If they cannot understand cancer then they cannot understand money? All they know is that someone is waving something around in their face that they want to color and being "mean" and not letting them have it.

You are a good, kind, and considerate mother. You sound responsible too because you are trying to remain polite and kind throughout all of this. I think it's good that we're becoming more forward thinking in society and trying to teach our children earlier about helping others and understanding their plight in life. However, more often than not, adults tend to go overboard without realizing that instead of educating they are merely confusing!

Way to go!

Answer 5

I just would not participate-you don't have to explain that to anyone. These fundraisers are voluntary. If anyone asks you, simply say that you have specific charities that you support throughout the year and you limit your self to those causes because they are important to you.

You're better off to go to the dollar store and buy her an entire coloring book as opposed to supporting a charity just because the school thinks it's worthy.

My child's daycare was trying to raise money --for the daycare, play equipment or something---when my son was an infant. They were selling candles that started at $15. Of course, they only actually got a portion of the actual sales so I put $10 in an envelope and said we would not participate in the sale, but we would donate directly to the playground fund.

Answer 6

My daycare also has various charities that we get asked to participate in. At first I felt like I needed to help out with each and everyone of them. However, I also participate in charities on my own, so now I pick and chose which ones I will and won't help with. It's OK sometimes to say no. It's also OK to limit how much you you want to participate on any given fund raiser. The fund raisers are more for the parents than the kids. Just keep in mind that your child is watching your actions, so while she's too young to understand a cancer charity, she's not too young to watch you be a giving person in other ways, so that she will learn to be one too.

Answer 7

It is not difficult for a three year old to understand charity, kindness, and selflessness if you work with them. The drive is not about teaching your child about cancer, it is about instilling those life lessons while they are still inocent enough to care so purely about helping others. In this day and age, a lot of people help others for all the wrong reasons- extra credit, merritts, tax deductions, etc. This lesson goes so far beond mere 'charity'. Your child will learn to be more aware of others. She will learn that there is more to life than meeting her own selfish 'needs'. She will be more caring. But most of all, she will learn from YOU how to act in the face of a great need... do you want her to be as negative as you sound to me??????

Answer 8

let her colour the one picture and put a £1 coin in as a token?