need help with sister in law?

Question

everything was ok with my sister in law and I when I was pg and then I moved in with her brother and after the baby we decided to get married she tired to make every deisions in my wedding I told her nicely that I wanted to make some deisions and she got all mad. since then she has treated me badly. She lets her son shove hit and push my son. Her son is 5 mine is 1 years old. If I ask her son to stop her and her husband gets all upset and yells at me but If my son pinches her son she smakes his hand and tries to disapline him. I don't know what else to do I have tried being nice I have tired ignoring her but the comments and being mean to me and only calling when she NEEDS something or to BRAG about something. Any Ideas on what to do?

My husband has said something to her and things got worse. It has got a lot worse since we moved right across the street from their mother. Their mother and I get along great.

She is never at my house we see her only at their mom's house. We have invited her to family things of ours like out sons baptizam and she and her husband didn't go. My husband has said stuff to her and their mother nothing is being done.

Answer 1

wow! you should a) have her brother talk to her and her husband and make sure they tell her she is wrong, or b) you talk to her and tell her that if her child disrespects yours you will discipline him or they cannot play. and try to find out where the anger is rooted. Did she not have her own wedding? Is she paying for yours? Is she obsessed with her brother? Just find out why and correct it. I walked on pins and needles for my sis in law at the request of my mother in lawdoesnt work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

First of all she should not be discipling your child. That is your job. Try avoiding her, and not getting together as much as possible. And when she calls let your husband answer it. Hopefully you'll put enough distance between the two of you to make you comfortable. Also say something to your husband on how his nephew bullies his son around and is not reprimanded but his son is. Hopefully you'll be able to keep the boys apart long enough for your son to grow up a bit more so he can defend himslef against their little tirant.

Answer 3

You and your sister-in-law need to have some time apart. You must protect your son. If you don't do it, who will? At your house, If they won't stop their son from abusing your son, then you need to calmly tell their son and them that hitting isn't allowed in my house. If it continues, then you need to be forceful and tell the cousin that he will need to play in a different area from your son until he can play nicely. If they get upset and leave, oh well! I've had to do this before. I nicely and calmly tell them as they're leaving that you're sorry their son is having a bad day. If you are at their house, then you need to take your son to another room (away from his cousin) to play. If that doesn't work, then it's time to go home. Do not allow her to hit your child! Your husband will need to talk with her about this. It's his sister, his family, he should handle this. When she calls you can tell her you're sorry but don't have time to talk now. She does not need an explanation. Please stand up to this bully and defend your son. He's depending on you. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Where is your husband in all of this??? Why is HE letting HIS relative treat you and your son like this? I always think the spouse whose family it is should be the one to speak up. If your husband won't then you have to!! Get this woman out of your home. Don't get together with her until your husband addresses the issue. I hate control freaks that when they find out they can't push you around turn really mean. You need to keep that woman away from your son, how dare her hit your son!!! I'm so mad right now I'm seeing red. Don't pick up the phone when she calls and if she says anything about it tell her the truth. Tell her you don't talk to mean spirited people like her. I'd like to tell you to kick her rotten butt, but, I won't. Stay away from that so called woman and protect yourself and your son. Good luck sweetie.

Answer 5

Well the problem here has to be dealt with your husband, your sister in law obviously has control issues, with the wedding, and now smacking your 1yr. old's hand, I would not allow it, but like I as saying it begins with your husband and should end there as well, talk to him about the sil and how she makes you feel, and what she does, ask him to talk to her and say, "Hey you know I've noticed your son who is older than mine shoving and pushing our little one, could you ask him to stop?" more than likely she is going to know that he told her that because of you, so if she starts talking about you he should make it clear that BOTH of you think that the behaviour is unacceptable, and that that is your child and that you are his wife, and that any disrespect she shows you, shes showing him as well." I'm not even going to try and act like this can't happen, but its common, family feuds do happen because of the kids,and most of the time mils get involved because we all know how nosey they can be ;) so maybe to avoid all of the risk I would suggest just picking your baby up whenever his cousin starts picking on him, right now shes probably trying and raise her son and show that hers will be more dominant, but in the end that stuff doesnt matter to kids, they should grow up and have a healthy upbringing, just watch out for your kid, and maybe every once in awhile talk about an outing that you took your son to and talk about how older children picked on smaller ones around her son's age, and how their parents paid no mind to it and acted as if they didnt see a thing. she wont like it but either way you deal with this it should make her pack off, limit visits also :) good luck

Answer 6

I would treat her like she treats me. When she calls and needs something..I'd say..."Oh, my goodness...I was right...you only call when u need something!! or if she is bragging.... Ask her if she needs a cookie... or a pat on the back... since she is obviously being ignored by her husband. Don't take her crap. Give it right back... Have a spine...the more you let someone bother you, the more they do it... no one should allow a 1yr old to be hit. She should be reported to DSS in doing so, --As far as your wedding,... Ask her.."whose wedding is it anyways, Christ I thought it was mine"...leave it just like that... put her in her place... not having a word to say about your special day.

Answer 7

I would definitely have a talk with her regarding her behavior. She needs to understand that just because she has a problem with you it doesn't give her permission to let her son beat up yours. You also need to tell her that you don't appreciate her disciplining your son and that she doesn't appreciate it when you discipline hers. If her poor treatment of you and your son continues then I would have your husband intervene with his sister and put a stop to this. Good Luck!

Answer 8

You and your son must stay away from your sister in law. Ignore her. She is using her child to try to get into a fight with you.

Talk to her only when needed. If she is visiting your house, you and your boyfriend must set the rules. Either she abides by your rules or she can walk away.

Why hasn't your boyfriend stop his sister's attack on you?

Answer 9

In principle... I have the same problems with my sister in law. Your sister in law wishes to manipulate and control her brother at your expense. Was he the baby brother? Your spouse is probably in denial of any wrong sis does as is mine. Whatever the problems maybe it is my suggestion you and try to get your family re-located and/or spend as little time as possible. You must stand up to this witch. My sister in law is so co-depedendent and manipulative of my wife...she will fight and run me down to her children and to my infant while sucking up to my wife.The best solution is STICK TO YOUR GUNS and at some point your husband has to sever that cord. I hope God blesses you in this area and puts you on top. Pray for me as well. Denny

Answer 10

You need to tell her until she grows up she is not allowed in your house. She sounds very mean and hateful and no aunt that loves their nephew would allow another child to hurt their nephew even if it was there own kid that was hurting the nephew. Talk to your husband about this and see if he agrees with me I bet he will.