I'm at a crossroads. My 6 yr. old son is a very smart outgoing boy that is well mannered at school, but not so well mannered at home. He's the only child and in the last 2 years he has had to be yelled at to get something done. We live with my Mom and have been since he was born. She really dislikes when I have to discipline my son and she tries to step in and figure out ways to make him not cry. This, I think, is hindering him. I want to be more strict with him because he's really becoming one of those children that whines, complains and talks back about everything. He never does a task the 1st time I ask. I think it's because he's gotten used to being asked 3 and 4 times and I need to put an end to that. It's making getting up in the morning very stressful. Of course, after any of these arguments, my son is perfectly fine and dandy and my Mom and I are very upset.
2007-01-11 01:19:32 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Move out of mom's home and get on your own (if possible). If he dont do as asked the first time, take away anything he is doing, T.V., Video, playtime, ect... If mom dont like it, OH WELL,, YOU gotta take control before it gets worse.
2007-01-11 01:26:40 · answer #1 · answered by D.C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can't get mom to work with you then you need to be on your own. Unfortunately too many grandmas try to appease the kids, I wasn't one of them. If child was grounded he would of course try to avoid it ... always sent him packing, I was brought up with a strong sense of responsibility. Talk to your mom and explain (maybe use instances in your own upbringing of how she managed you/siblings and how it needs to be done with all kids) perhaps. And you also have to be able to put your foot down, it's not ok to have to ask so many times ... go in after the first request and take away what ever prevents the kid from moving and don't allow it until he's had time to think about it. If he's watching tv, turn it off pull the plug and don't just allow it when you get home ... make him do something else (at least for a while) till he gets the idea. If you get it done you can go back if you don't you lose the privilege for longer ... they'll learn. Be stronger with your mom, I know it's her house but you're not breaking her rules by trying to discipline your child.
We had a next door neighbor with the "it's ok type grandma" and the granddaughter has a lot of "boundary issues" now.
2007-01-11 01:38:16 · answer #2 · answered by Chele 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My 6 year old son is the same way & I have found that he has to listen harder to hear me if I am not yelling. When I yell at him it only shuts him down. I have found that if I encourage him with things like "I know you're going to pick up your toys because you are such a good kid" it works better. Also, I have found that if I give him choices it often works out better in my favor - "You can either pick up your toys, or you can take a time-out."
As far as your mom goes - pacifying him when he throws a tantrum is only going to instigate the tantrum further - he will see that he gets what he wants by crying/whining. The rule with my son is: If you throw a fit or whine about it, the answer is automatically "no."
Stay in control - KEEP YOUR COOL - and don't let your son see that he is upsetting you. This works for me :)
2007-01-11 11:36:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell Mom that although you appreciate all she has done and is doing for you and you son, he is, in fact, your son and that you have to raise him the way you think he should. Your son is probably acting out because he knows that Grandma is going to step in and soften the punishment that he knows you would likely give him. Explain this to your mom and let her see how her behavior will ultimately be detrimental to her grandson. When Grandma backs off and stop stepping in to help him all the time, your son will see that you mean business and that he won't get to have his way. By him not having her stop you from disciplining him, he will get the punishment he deserves; he won't like it, and will begin to change his behavior. Hope this helps. Good luck.
2007-01-11 01:34:23 · answer #4 · answered by Sherbert 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When my son was born I had already decided the ground rules
-the 1st time I ask (please do...)
-2nd time I tell (Do this...)
-The 3rd time action is taken , time out, grounding (No TV really hurts them)
He was always taught about choices, the easy way (my way) and the hard way (any other)
Yelling is not the answer. It destroys the peace in the home and is very confrontational.
And remember "no empty threats" you must back up what you say.
2007-01-11 01:32:03 · answer #5 · answered by jetero41 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know of ANY kid who will do a task upon the first request. It comes with being a kid. I'd be willing to bet that when YOU were his age you had to be asked three or four times to do something. There is no need to yell at him. When my daughter didn't respond when I'd ask her to do something I'd do it myself but the next time she would ask me to do something for her I ignred her. When she would complain I would say
"Remember when I asked you to do such and such and you didn't do it?" When she would answer to the affirmative I would say "Well think of this as payback".
2007-01-11 15:27:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call superNanny... you need to take your mom aside and remind her of her role as a grandparent. If she doesn't like the discipline then she should leave the room. She is a guest in your home your child is Your responsibility. She can take care of herself he can't.. Take over and demand respect from both of your problems or you will regret it later
2007-01-11 01:28:31 · answer #7 · answered by luv2lysalittle 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i went through that. i lived with my mom and dad and they always stepped in. i know it might be tough, but you the only way to fix that is by getting your own place. i did and my daughter is an absolute angel. right now you feel that your under their roof, their rules. right? now its my roof, my rules. they aren't there 24/7 to overrule me. now when we go visit them if things get out of hand, i pickup and leave, no one can say a d*mn thing. shes my, and hes yours. not theirs. good luck i hope this helped.
2007-01-11 01:25:47 · answer #8 · answered by tsd574 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you need to move out and get your own place. or else talk to your mother about it . he knows if he throws a fit grandma will step in and save him .. tell her to butt out , your his mother not her. she is done raising her kids . but i wouldn't worry too much about his attitude. i think it is his age. they go in waves.... they will listen to everything you say then next week he will not listen at all.. i guess they are testing you and see what they can get away with. but definitely talk to your mother and let her know that she is hindering your mothering and disciplining.
2007-01-11 01:26:57 · answer #9 · answered by ♠ JƏSSƏ'S GiRL ♠ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
either move out, as #1 suggested, or tell your mother not to undermine your authority by constantly getting between you and your son - tell her she's making you seem 'weak' in front of your son, and it also causes him to disrespect you and not listen to you any more
2007-01-11 01:29:03 · answer #10 · answered by smilingcat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋