My girlfriends son is a spoiled brat who throws a fit everytime he doesn't get his way, what should i do?

Question

He literally throws a tantrum every day about the stupidest things, does nothing he is told, picks on other kids, dissobeys his mother and calls her every name in the book, and that he hates her. This kid had done everything from cry (literally) when he doesn't get his way, has chased after his mom with knives and hammers, and even burned down his own bedroom, and he just turned 11. She tries to buy him off but it does no good. She just spent $400 the other day on him and he was completely ungrateful. She doesn't punish him (in the corner, grounding, taking things away etc) because he simply will not listen, and she won't lay a finger on him. I love her too much to just abandon the situation, but I feel I must do something. I think he needs a good old fashioned spanking (by the way, his dad, uncle, or grandpa, or anyone else for that matter will not punish him either). When I was a kid and I acted up like that, I got the belt, but the U.S. seems to P.C. for that nowadays, little help?

Ok, most of these answers aren't helping, he is on meds, but refuses to take them, and goes to a pschiatrist regularly. He has been for the past 2 years. So how about some real help? The meds won't help if you can't get him to take them.

Answer 1

Well. You gotta handle that! He cant always get his way. You have to be STRICT hands down. At this point dont care what your girlfriend says. You have to do something. Its not your fault. Its hers. She too puny. She is not helping buying him things talk to her seriously she has to listen or if not she will regret it. Because It sounds to me like she doesnt care for him calling her names. I dont care if i was her I would've went to jail, but happy with the pride of beating the bad sh.t out of him.

Answer 2

My Step-daughter is 9 almost 10 and throws horrible fits. Screaming, hitting things, calling us names, saying she isn't going to do what she is told. We do spank her. There is nothing wrong with that...I got spanked as a child...so did my 2 sisters.

His problem is alot like my step-daughters...No one really puts their foot down. My SD was never punished, or told no until 4 years ago when she came to live with us. We are pretty strict with her....b/c of her behavior problems. We tried meds...didn't work. Tried psycologist...didn't work. We tried the corner, grounding, taking thinks away, talking to her, everything. The only thing that we can find that usually works is making her write lines...and not letting her go do special things (example...she threw a fit the night before a Xmas proformance this year...she wouldn't listen...so we didn't go. she had to sit on her bed and think about what she had done!)

I really believe that some parents these days are to P.C....no spanking b.s. let the kid be who they want to be...blah blah blah. Let your kid be an individual...blah blah blah.

We are parents for a reason...Parent your kids/step-kids/girlfriend or boyfriends kids...Acctually be involved in your kids life...not just give them things to shut them up..it's not going to kill them to miss out on a few things!! Or not get the latest...whatever...they will be ok!

Another thing that we were told with my sd's fits was to put a lock on the outside of her bedroom door. The Psycologist told us o do it...and said that if she is throwing a fit....put her in her room close the door and lock it...and ignore her fit...she will calm down and then you can talk to her.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

Hmmm....I feel bad for you and her....Have you told her how you feel??? Does she allow you to discipline her son??? I think if she allows then you should step in and take everything of his away, and put it up at your house (if yall live separately) Or just put it out of his reach then if he continues to misbehave start taking his stuff to goodwill one thing at a time. Because if you just take it away then he knows he will get it back eventually but if it goes to goodwill then other kids that cant afford all those toys will get them....Maybe itll get his attention. I say its better then ending up in jail. He will get over it (cuz it sounds like your gf isnt gonna like that idea) She has got to understand that her son will end up in jail or on the streets if he doesnt learn to listen and respect others.And also I dont think spanking works all that well at least not in the long term. And just to let you know what I just suggested about goodwill and taking the toys/tv/video games/whatever away, I do that with my son and he is only 5, and he is polite and has manners and listens very good for being 5 yrs. old. Good luck!

Answer 4

I know what your going through. My bf's little girl is the same way but she's 5. He says he lets her get away with things because he can't be there 24/7 for her and he doesn't want to the bad man. I want to just yank her up and spank her sometimes. But I can't she's not my kid. Like he isn't your kid. The only thing you can do is talk to you gf and make sure if it's ok with her, if you try to discipline him (without touching him). It's hard I know. But if you and your gf get married your going to have to deal with it, like I am.

Good Luck to the both of us!

Answer 5

Spanking is not the answer. She should refuse these things for him...he is very unappreciative of your girlfriend. This is a child who DEFINATELY needs to see a therapist and right away!!! For someone his age...he seems to have alot of issues...and maybe...his anger might be toward the fact that his mommy and daddy are not together anymore...and he is taking this out on your girlfriend. One HUGE mistake your girlfriend is making is not punishing him. Your girlfriends son knows he can do anything he wants...and get away with it! What he really wants is for your girlfriend to take control...and discipline him! He is DEFINATELY giving her a run for her money!!! He will not listen to you...you are not married to her...and you are not his father. She needs to take control of this child by setting ground rules...and discipline. When this boy sees what she is doing...things might change. Remember one thing...discipline is a form of love. Your girlfriend and her family need to realize this...before this child burns the house COMPLETELY to the ground!!!

Answer 6

permit's get this into perspective. the concern isn't that your husband "began this terrible trend". there's no longer something incorrect with your husband buying him Hotwheels vehicles. Boys tend to love vehicles...your husband is probable no exception. He probable performs with your son with tips from taking part in vehicles with him. you're able to be able to point on your husband that he no longer purchase him a motor vehicle everytime...yet finally, that's between the two one among them. the real concern is, your son is throwing tantrums whilst he's with you and looking out forward to you to do what daddy does. no remember in the adventure that your husband buys him vehicles or no longer isn't the concern right here--that's the undeniable fact that he ought to no longer get what he needs each and all the time, and the concern he's having coping with no longer getting his way. right this is what i might do---tell your son till now you bypass out which you're no longer likely to purchase him a Hotwheels motor vehicle, and that he's to no longer ask for one. tell him that if he throws a tantrum, he would be getting a spanking and could bypass today to his room (or a chair, the corner...in spite of works) whilst he gets abode. Then, gently stick to by way of on your promise...it is so basic as that. If he starts to throw a in positive condition, courteously excuse your self to those around you, take him out to a pair place inner maximum, paddle his backside, and make him choose he hadn't finished that. Then take him abode and make him stay the place you place him for a collectively as. young infants are not dumb...he gets the belief faster or later. bear in mind--the concern isn't the Hotwheels, neither is it your husband. If he spoils him too plenty whilst they are mutually, faster or later he will ought to handle that (and he will probable handle it very effecively, hastily, and decisively). precise now, you have purely have been given to set some limits and stick to them.

Answer 7

I fit were my kid, I'de blister his a$$. evry time he though a fit put him in a time out start taking things away. but when he's doing something good reward him, give things back, take him places that he want to go....ect. What ever you do, do not take him to the psycho ward people. I was taken there once and I came back worse than i was when i started at the **** hole and it was only for an hour. Anyways yeah, he needs tough love (spaer the rod spoil the child) that means hit the little **** when he's getting out of place. of course sence it's your girl friends kid tell she has to do it and or give you permission to. good luck and I hope you take my advice into concideration.

Answer 8

No spanking! No belt! "Hands are not for hitting!" Don't ever go there. He needs to be shown love and discipline. Since this has gone so far, I would tell your girlfriend to make an appointment for him with a psychiatrist ASAP! The knives and hammers, and building a fire are a red flag. It sounds like he needs to get out of there for a while. Maybe by having him taken in to a Psych ward. I'm not being judgmental, believe me. But this child can claim all of your lives. Do it RIGHT away !

Answer 9

You are dating a woman with baggage, you have a choice.


Accept the baggage and learn to deal with it, or get out of the relationship. Inform her something has to be done to get this child back on the right track.. If she is unwilling to make the effort then it is time for you to leave. PERIOD. She needs limits too.

I would suggest she seek counseling for her and the child, and she attend a "Love and Logic" seminar to deal with this child. The child has gone beyond the brat stage to one of pathology. As a counselor if you intend to stick with this lady you have a road ahead. Step parenting is nearly impossible for people to deal with when the child is acting out so much rage.
This kid needs a couple things, structure, and discipline and a good shrink. He sounds potentially homocidal and suicidal. He needs to get into a psychiatrist treatment to get to some semblance of structure.

He has free reign because she sounds unwilling to place limits on him.

Once a child reachs 11 yrs old, it becomes difficult to use the belt, and as you are a non-family member doing so could put you in a place where you'd get charged with a crime and thrown in jail.

Sit down with her and tell her something has to be done about this child. Contact a counselor. Check out the following links for parenting skills in your area. These guys are the best!!

http://www.loveandlogic.com/

Answer 10

... I think she should take his kid to the psychologist, could be he has some issues that need to be addressed, and obviously your girlfriend need some help too, since she doesn't do anything to correct his behavior...and if he keeps walking that road he'll end up in big trouble when he grows up. Children act up for a reason, it's very important that she discovers what's wrong with his son.