my boyfriend, whom i've been with for 4 yrs and living with, has been dissappearing at night, like 2 am and won't come home or contact me or family for 20-24 hrs. he won't say where he's going. he gets drunk and leaves. i am beginning to not trust him, and frankly i'm kind of scared that if i have intercourse with him i might catch something. i mean, i do trust him, but only to a certain point. he has left 3 times within the past 7 days like this. He'll drink either here or the bar, and not come home or call us for a day! he can't drive either, he has a dui, and he even took my car without me knowing about it twice this week. I just want to know, how suspicious is this of cheating? should i ask him to get tested? i would like to work things out and help him straighten up, but should i use me as leverage? such as "I'm not going to be here for you until you grow up, prove your trustworthiness, ect"?
what exactly should i do? please, any alternatives for breaking up.
2007-01-10 23:10:37 · 14 answers · asked by Bitterly Sweet 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When I read your post the first thing besides cheating that came to mind is drug addiction.Do you know where he is going if not ask him.You need to sit him down and have a serious conversation with him about how his actions are affecting you and let him know that it's getting hard to trust him.Ask him how it'll feel if you do what he is doing to you and what would he think.
Don't let him use reverse psycology and make you feel bad.
Goodluck...
2007-01-10 23:24:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow my g/f would have kicked my *** and kicked me out of the house the first time that happened... From what you've said I think it's pretty obvious your guy is out seeing another girl. What else would he possibly be doing leaving in the middle of the night drunk and not telling you why? Also where is he sleeping at when he's gone an entire day? He's running all over you and you're letting him. You don't even want to break up with the guy.. You need to sit him down and tell him if he does it one more time that will be the last and thats it. If he does it anyways after that then give him the boot. Maybe that will straiten him up and if not then move on. Theres better things out there for you then some jerk thats going to cheat on you.
2007-01-11 07:31:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
girlfriend, get out dont look back! You know how much trouble you can get into with him driving your car? The first dui and you both pay for big fines, the second dui the state keeps your car. Check the laws. You could also loose your license for a month. And pay reinstatement fees to get license back. We already have almost $10,000 in his dui 's . And we are now apart. { I dont even drink!!} So you weigh this out. Take care of yourself....there are alot of losers out there. Take a year or so before you get into another relationship. Make sure your new lover doesnt have skeletins in his closet. Goodluck!
2007-01-13 01:39:34 · answer #3 · answered by winterbabe1959 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear, dear, dear. You are young, and obviously this person is also. (or at least he is acting that way). Yes there are ways you can fix your relationship, but only if he wants to. If he does not want to change his behavior, then you can talk until you are blue in your face and nothing will change. I think your trust issue is a lot stronger than what you are putting it off to be. You need to look at every aspect of your relationship and ask yourself if this is what you are willing to put up with. I know you love him, but love sometimes is just not enough to stay with someone. He is bringing you down, and making no attempts to fix or get better. Your goals and aspirations are at a halt as long as you are having to deal with this childish behavior. I wish you the best of luck in determining what is best for YOU, then look at how he fits into that equation.
2007-01-11 07:19:19 · answer #4 · answered by Dayout6 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him out! You don't have to break up with him unless you want to. Make him go live with his parents, tell him that if he wants to act irresponsibly, that he can go somewhere else.
Get him tested for STD's!
2007-01-11 07:16:58 · answer #5 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drag him to a relationship counsellor, if he is willing to undergo that. If he refuses, that is the best chance for you to dump him for a more sensible partner. Good luck.
2007-01-11 07:20:28 · answer #6 · answered by Paleologus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well.. i think you should speak with him stright forward.. dont let him treat you that way.. he doesnt apreciate you.. it obvious that you love him.. so give him 1 more chance.. tell him if he is gona act this way you just have to go on with your life.. and if he really loves you , he should go get tested and stop those things..
good luck :)
2007-01-11 07:21:56 · answer #7 · answered by Princesa De Muerte 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to discuss the issue with him. If he doesn't respond, disappear for a week, as he does, and watch his reactions.
2007-01-11 07:16:46 · answer #8 · answered by sensimilia2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he obviously desnt appreciate you or what you mean to him. Confront him and if he starts making excuses like trtying to put the blame on you...dump him
2007-01-11 07:14:37 · answer #9 · answered by rick JAMES 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should fallow him when he leaves or call jerry. springer that is. any way I think h might be cheating on you and I think he should get tested.
2007-01-11 07:16:27 · answer #10 · answered by black_rose_math 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋