My husband and I used to work in two countries for a long time. We saw each other once a year or even longer. During this period, I happened to know a guy who liked me at the first sight. After he told me that I just let him know I was married. He gave up. But because of our work we had to see each other very often. his feelings were still there when he talked to me and stared at me. I began to like him back. There were always some other guys who liked me, but he was the only one I couldn't resist.
I didn't want to ruin the life of three people. I hided my feelings and avoided any contact with him. Sometimes I was rude. Later he quitted the job and moved to another city. I left too. Since then we've had no contact.
I thought I'd forget that guy when living with my husband. I'm very happy in my marriage. I love my husband. But I'm still thinking about that guy and feel painful. I don't think he's better but can't get him out of mind. It's been almost 2 years!
I hate myself!
2007-01-10 22:54:17 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
human emotionsare a hard thing to control first off don't hate yourself be proud that you didn't act on your feelings and destroy your marriage in the process. Is the reason you are feeling guilty about the other guy because you had feelings for him and regret not actingon them or is it becuase you feel you treated the other guy badly. FIrst examine why you feel guilty then act on it. For example examine why you feel guilty for not acting on the feelings and maybe try becoming more intimate with your husband like taing time out together to talk or to enjoy each others company. If it is because of how you treated the other guy then there isn't much you can do to change the past but in future with any other situation that arises try your best to talk things out rather than push people away. and resolve not to treat others in such a fashion in the future. YOu aren't a bad person you're human things happen you need to learn to move on and look forward to the future because the past isn't going anywhere.
2007-01-10 23:03:13 · answer #1 · answered by Natashya K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can stand to have a mad husband you can tell him about the man and see if he will forgive you. You could keep this as your personal secret and try to get the other guy out of your mind.
If you really want to ruin things. The other guy did you a favor by moving away and he knew it would be a one time thing and he may have moved on and let you go. It is all in your mind if you want to ruin things and spend a lot of money to trace this man down but all bets are off the road is going to be hard and painful to bring this man up again. You can go to confession about how to deal with this in your heart this secret before God so it will make you feel better. No contact is good contact. You could close your eyes and pretend your husband is this man and put yout all the focus you would give this man into your husband to get it out of your system by being wild and crazy with him and do un expected things to make up for your hidden feelings you could not resist. It is something that the other guy said or did that turned you on and now you have to turn him off and turn your husband on to get your husband to fill what is missing...Your man may have a hidden secret to tell you so if you both come clean you can do it together or if you feel he is a prude and did not do anything there is not a need to ruin your marriage because of it but you can hint around to see if you are still #1
There are S books that can bring new things to the bed and you can try to firmly take your man and say I need to try this in a nice way not to criticise him but to Upgrade things and let him make suggestions on the things he wants to try but was affraid to ask.
I wish I was married because of all the nice things you can do legal and under God without fear of some one else stepping into the mix. Just to hold on to the other person and not loose them for life. Try to make it work for better or for worse and decide if this other man did you a favor by not making a sound about you.
Hey you may have did him a favor. You never know God Bless
2007-01-11 07:13:21 · answer #2 · answered by Nina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I SYMPATHISE WITH YOU
its just natural u r not at fault do not feel guilty your action reaction were just normal as the thing has passed try to forget it but keep one thing in mind you did not do anything wrong
i can promise to keep ur spirit up on this point u may have a direct im contact with me if you feel easy and need it
2007-01-11 07:07:34 · answer #3 · answered by Caring 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were lonely, and he made you feel special without pressuring you into anything... He respected you on a very personal level...
You miss that attention, obviously...
You need to remember that you love your husband (as you say) and that was a pleasant time, which didn't end very pleasantly... Sounds like you just need to find closure and hope that he didn't hate you for the way you acted...
Time to forgive yourself for your weakness, and move on with you life...
2007-01-11 07:00:07 · answer #4 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if nothing happened between you two, then there is nothing to worry about. yes, you may have started to have feelings for him, but that is only it. you HAD feelings for him. dont let that destroy what you and your husband have.
2007-01-11 08:01:54 · answer #5 · answered by young grown man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
here is a therapy: LOVE yourself
2007-01-11 06:58:58 · answer #6 · answered by COlder THaN AlaSka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What will be will be-----no regrets
2007-01-11 06:59:02 · answer #7 · answered by lonetraveler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋