Family member taking my wedding photos?

Question

I want to hire a very good college student or professional to shoot my wedding photos. My future mother in law is insisting (nagging) that since I'm a photographer myself, I should be able to teach her niece how to use the camera because she wants to be a photographer (she has no camera) and I'm getting married in July. There is NO way I can do that or even have time for it. I've been learning about cameras since 2002. I've gone cheapo with my wedding already (having it in the big backyard with a bbq afterwards). Me being a photographer, I need photos to reflect us as a couple. I really don't want a wanna-be taking my photos.

1.) I'm worried something may go wrong with my pictures and I end up blaming a family member. 2.) What if they miss the shots I want? wedding bands on fingers, the kiss, etc. 3.) There is no legal contract, nor would they want to sign one.

What should I do?Or what would you do? btw, my dad is paying for the whole thing. I just don't want to upset anyone.

Answer 1

I'm in the same situation with a wedding date right around the corner. I plan to still hire a professional (or reponsible college student if budget won't allow professional), have my cousin shoot the wedding to satisfy both her desire to do so and everyone else who wishes to see her do so, and also have throw away cameras at some of the reception tables for misc guest shots.

The only thing for me is that I made it clear that the cousin and others in the family can shoot all they want, but the professional is my PRIMARY photographer and under no circumstances should they get in his way. Either wait until he shoots and gives the 'ok', and then catch the shot they want after, or get it from another angle without getting in the way or in his shot. After explaining all that can go wrong during a wedding, (being an amature wedding photographer myself, I know the difficulties) including the pressure of all eyes on you doing your job, she was happy with this decision.

Also, when I mentioned all of the equipment, lighting, bag for film, etc she'd have to be lugging around, she was more than happy to be a back-up, especially when it clashed with the dainty outfit she HAD planned on wearing.

I'm giving her the choice of an older 35 mm or my less expensive but reliable digital that she can see what she takes and erase what she doesn't like. If she uses the 35mm, I'm going to have her use b&w film, to have diversity since my photographer is going all color, and also it's a little more 'goof proof' and forgiving. You could do the same, but encourage the niece that you'd like a 35mm with the b&w film to cover an 'alternate' version of the wedding, to satisfy her desire to shoot but be none the wiser that it's not something you'd really need.

I'm also considering telling the professional to take all the pre-wedding/ceremony/and must have family/reception shots, but let my cousin be in charge of most of the reception's candids and non-immediate family photos that I normally wouldn't get in the package from the professional. (such as my Dad with Great Uncle Jake, etc. - something that's nice to have but not a necessity or normally provided by the professional.) This way she'll get her practice with posing and portraits, but if they don't come out, it's not something I'd have gotten w/a professional anyway. Other than begin out of a few rolls of film, she's happy for the experience, as well as satisfying the pushy family members. I'm also putting her in charge of telling the photographer which shots are most important to me, such as make sure to get me with my godmother, etc.

To save money, if you planned to have a book or copies made for the mother-in-law, make it from the prints of the niece instead of from the professional. She picked and and pretty much 'forced' you to use her, it's only fair she should reap the 'reward'. ;)

The only other problem that could occur would be that if she ran into a problem with your camera, (loading film, flash not going off, etc), she may look to you for answers and help during YOUR reception and special day. Let her know ahead of time you're unavailable for such but who she can go to that also knows the workings of your camera, and that under NO circumstances should she just pass the camera off to Joe Blow for a quick 'look see'. Lord only knows what kind of condition your camera could come back to you. Perhaps you could have her come over for a quick practice shoot of you in your dress and show her the basics then, and get a few extra pics of you in the dress in the process, instead of her just wasting film on crazy things. Maybe even give her free reign of the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner for practice...or heck, maybe just the rehearsal and dinner PERIOD - no wedding practice for her. This may be the answer to satify everyone?

I read an earlier response that said don't do it, as the mother-in-law got to the pics first, discarding what SHE didn't like. I've also seen such things happen before, not that your's would do such a thing, but be warned that it does happen. However, if you're letting the niece use YOUR camera, maybe just let her shoot 2/3 rolls of film, leaving in the final roll, so you know at least ONE roll will be in your hands. (of course making it sound like it's no big deal - "when you get to the last roll honey, you can just leave it in the camera. Don't even worry about rewinding or taking it out, I can do all that when the wedding is over.")

Also, you could instruct her to leave each used roll of film in a pouch for YOU to take for development later with YOUR PROFESSIONAL services. This would perhaps deter anyone from trying to get them developed on their own without you, even as a favor, especially if you state the quality, pricing and editing features you desire from your professional - whether you really plan to use the professional developer or not.

Hopefully this will help in your situation. I wish you the best of luck, and congrats!

Answer 2

Don't do it! You can't teach a non-photographer to have a photographer's "eye." That is something that must be trained over time, and also some innate talent as well. You can scrimp on virtually everything else, but once your wedding day is over, those moments can never be recaptured. Go with a college student who is a photography major (or at least who has had several classes). Your first instinct that you would blame the family member is 100% right on. It wouldn't be fair to the family member either if they screwed it up. After all, they are not a professional.

Answer 3

How about this? Tell your future m-i-l that you would love to teach the niece, but you won't have time until after the wedding. Make sure she knows it's far more complicated than most people realize-not just point and shoot. If you feel uncomfortable being honest with her, then you could say that a friend who can't make the wedding heard you talking about needing a photographer and paid for one for you in lieu of a gift. That's exactly what happened to me-three co-workers pitched in and got me a pro!

Either way, you're right-this is too important to trust to someone with severely limited experience, though I'm sure she means well. Hopefully the m-i-l and niece will understand. Perhaps soliciting a little help from your fiance would work since he knows them both better.

Congratulations.

Answer 4

Hi there oh no girl rather get a pro to take your pics and the niece can get another camera and take some spare for you you never have enough I just got married last year in April and got mine done by a pro its worth the money cos its all the memories you have forever you would regret it and your mother in law to be should just understand its not something you can learn like you say so quick its one of the most important things to organize for a wedding. I also got all the photo's my friends took at the wedding and its great to have but no comparison. Good luck and enjoy your day take it all in it all flies by so fast :) xx

Answer 5

First of all it is your wedding so it is your perogative. Photography is very important to weddings, as you want to capture yourselves in a certain light. Hiring a professional will better help with how your photos will turn out. If you go against your will and use your mother-in-law's niece, and your photos come out inappropriate then you can't complain. As a professional you know if you hire another professional there will be a contract in place to protect yourself and the quality work you receive.
Tell your in law you can teach her niece the art of photography but you will need to hire a professional for your wedding.

Answer 6

When I got married, my family convinced me to let me cousin do the pictures, after all she takes pcitures "all the time" - that is THE ONE thing I regret about my wedding. The pictures WERE NOT what I wanted!

In wedding planning, I have recieved some very useful tips and learned some very good lesson:

- I have had MANY brides tell me they wish they hired a professional - but I have NEVER had a bride tell me she wised she had hired an amateur instead.

- ALWAYS ask to see previous work - if you don't like their past work, chances are you won't like what they do for you either. Weddings are difficult to do well - get someone who can prove they have succeeded at it before.

Answer 7

First, congratulations on the wedding! Married 11 + years myself! Secondly, get the college person. I'm sure you will have much better results. Lastly, you should tell your neice you train her after your wedding and honeymoon! This day is WAY too important for that! I see you have cut some corners, that's a good thing. I would not go too cheap when finding a photographer! Good Luck!

Answer 8

Tell your mother in law that you found a person that has the exact stlye of photography that you liked! Before she has a chance to react, quickly add that you'd be glad to do teach her niece as both of your times permit. You could also put the blame on a willing accomplice, saying that he/she found a photographer that you MUST/SHOULD use... :)

You are absolutely right in feeling worried about something going wrong and you ending up blaming a family member. You must go with your decision especially since it is a reasonable and logical one!

Answer 9

I think you should go ahead and hire a professional or college student. Talk to them about the MIL's niece issue and see if they are open to "mentoring" your MIL's relation. Tell your MIL if the has time to take a class to help prepare for the big event it would be very beneficial to her, but you just don't have the time or ability to teach her what she needs to know before the wedding gets here. It can never hurt to have two photographers, and it may help ease a lot of tension.... Congratulations & lots of good luck to you!

Answer 10

Have you thought about having a bunch of disposable cameras for your guests to take pictures?

I was incredibly disappointed with my photographer and most of my favorite shots were taken by family members. And my videographer. Since it'll be outside you won't have to worry too much about the overwhelming flash. Also, you can always re-pose a shot (not romantic, but practical). We had to put on our wedding bands about 3 times and light our unity candle twice after the ceremony was over.

Answer 11

Stand your ground. A friend offered to take our wedding photos as her gift to us. That would have been lovely but:

1. It took two years to see the prints
2. We're still waiting on the proper ones
3. Most of the photos were of her family and, frankly, they weren't very good.

Your observation about the contract is spot on. Go with a pro. It hurts me that my wife is able to display her son's wedding pictures, but there is nothing fromm our wedding.