Am I too uptight?

Question

I've always wondered what is stopping me from connecting to people, I think it's uptightness.

I've always been a bit socially anxious. People often comment on my leg jiggling and stuff when nervous (which I'm usually doing unconciously) my small friend circle is made up of all females because I usually fall out with guys after their comments. For example someone was going round "introducing" me to people by saying "This is , he's scared of people with a vagina, and doesn't talk very much". Is this sort of thing normal from "the lads"? He' 20 for gods sake! I haven't talked to him since because I found it insulting, my history with g/f's, is nonexistent, that and my shyness are sore points.

I also get horrified when people talk about drugs they've done. When people start talking about sex I leave the room. Hell, ANYTHING illegal makes me instinctively horrified.

Do I need to lighten up? If so, how?
Was his behaviour normal? People at school never said such things.

Answer 1

Actually, from my perspective you do need to "lighten up" to quote you. You sound quite a bit like my brother. He is now 41 years old and still single. He is a great guy, with a big heart, great looking (well I am his sister - lol). I love him so much it hurts to still see him alone. I have tried and tried to help him, but I think he just can not hear this message from his bossy big sister.

I would like to recommend books to you. Get them from the library. Read it fast the first time. Then study them. They were written by Dale Carnegie nearly 90 years ago.

"How to stop Worrying and Start Living"

"How to Win Friends and Influence People"

If they makes sense to you, and you can afford it, or you can convince some one to pay for you to take the Dale Carnegie course then do it. It really helped me. I hated it when my boss forced me to take the course. Now, about 17 years later, I can see the lessons I almost learned from the books/course really are important. I reread them often and they continue to offer clarity and insight.

Answer 2

Yes, you do need to lighten up, maybe even a humor transplant. Don't take everything so seriously, you will not get arrested for someone TALKING about something illegal, Take a chill pill. You are not in school anymore, this is the real world. Prepare to be stunned.

Answer 3

Why are you apologizing for who you are?

If people cant accept then its their problem, not yours. Its not a good idea to try and change ourselves in to what others want us to be.

If you are more comfortable with girls then they are clearly comfortable with you.

BTW The more people talk about sex and drugs then the less likely they will have had much to do with either. There are more 30 year old drug-clean virgins than you know.

Just be you. Be comfortable with you and learn to like yourself. Its the only way.

Answer 4

Sounds like you're hanging around with the wrong people.
Real friends want whats best for you; they don't insult and belittle you at every opportunity. Ditch these losers and find a better crowd.

Answer 5

No- I wouldn't call you uptight. I think you just need to find a mature group of guys to associate with. Those type of comments would make me uneasy, too.

Answer 6

Smoke a joint then go out and mingle mang. Just relax essay.

Answer 7

Your problem could be resolved.........don't avoid guys circle, try to mingle with gals and guys, observe whats happening around you, try to do meditation to control ur mind.....