im 15.im dating an older man. help?

Question

we knew each other for 9 months since he was a teacher in my music school.he was a drum teacher and i was a guitar student. so, he wasnt really my teacher. we started "talking and hanging out" or in other words we started being close for about 5 1/2 months. yes, i like him and he likes me. but we agreed not to push it since im too young. but then, for the 1st time, i went out with him alone. we went to the movies and yes,we kissed. a lot.. also in his car.. i have no regrets in doing it at all but, its just shameful.. we agreed not to tell anyone though. although my best friend knows.. what do you guys think i should do? by the way, im 15 and the guy is 30+

Answer 1

Okay sweetie,

The first thing you have to ask yourself is why can't this man find someone or want someone of a more appropriate age. At 30+ he has had TWICE the life experience that you have.

Listen, I understand (because I am a teacher who is 31) that bonds can form between teachers and students but romance should not be encouraged. In my opinion, an ethical teacher would squash any crushes right away, fostering the role model or mentor relationship instead.

I know dating someone older is exciting but you have to be aware that some older men pray on younger people because they are seen as easier to manipulate and eager to please. Plus the "Let's not tell anyone" factor makes it seem like forbidden romance (again, exciting) when if he was really unashamed and unafraid of concequences i.e. losing his job or respect in the community, you both would be able to TELL anyone without regret.

Please be careful and think hard about you gut feelings. You went to the movies (in the dark) and kissed in his car (where no one could see). You mentioned that " its just shameful..." Shame is a sign that SOMETHING IS WRONG. So you must have doubts about this. In my opinion, you should tell a trusted adult and end this before you get too deep....

Answer 2

This man is way too old for you. If the authorities find him with you and you are kissing a lot he will be arrested and charged with statutory rape. Even your parents can have him charged without anyone catching you. If the school finds out he can be fired and face still other charges. The man is a pedophile. That is anyone who wants to have sex with someone as young as you are. That is why he does not want you to tell anyone. You need to tell your parents because if he is kissing you he probably has done that and more to some other young woman. Believe me he does not want to stop with kissing. Get away from him and stay away from him. Talk to an adult about what he has been doing.

Answer 3

You've said it yourself, at your age you are FAR too young to be seeing a man that much older than you, and with all due respect, no matter how mature you are as a 15 year old, you are still a child. If you were older this kind of gap would not be an issue. Should anything develop further, he could risk his entire career and livlehood over this so perhaps your best bet at your age is to forget him and date somebody your own age.

Answer 4

Well, this man will lose his job if he is found out. And he is a teacher. Its immaterial that he is not your teacher. You are rape bait. If you get to the point where you have sex, it is statutory rape and not only would he lose his job he will go to prison & will be known as a sex offender for the rest of his life.

So you should stop what you're doing. If he's so eager to go to prison let someone else be responsible for it; not you.

If you were my daughter I'd ground you until you were 18 & throw away the key. Your parents aren't doing such a hot job of raising you, are they? They should know where you are at all times.

Answer 5

you be careful.... I know how it feels to like someone and say that they wouldn't do this and they wouldn't do that. I have something happening with my car instructor too.. he's 50 and i was 18 at that time and worst he has a wife.

He said he miss me and kept taking photos of me with his camera phone and promises not to let his wife see. I told my parents what is going on as i'm getting highly suspicious and unconfortable. they stop my lessons immediately.

there's alot of people out there who is looking for young girls to have sex with and be off after they have enough. they just wanna get you high enough and long enough to make you feel right and comfy enough to do it with them. and yes... especially if he say something like... "this is our little secret" or "don't tell anyone" it's a big Red Flag!!

he's trying to get to you first before you tell someone who has the power to stop you. I mean... I know ' true love' is the most wonderful thing in the world... but you know... would someone who truely loves you wants to keep you a secret? if he loves you enough he'd wait till you are old enough to really know how to make clear decisions.

Girl, you are not alone. you have a wonderful life ahead of you so don't let this guy ruin it for you.. he's saying all the nice stuff but he's just in it for sex.
eg. he said he wouldn't push you but still he ask you out which he knows its wrong to do so.
a person who truely loves you would put your safety before their own wants and needs.

ps: i think you need a new guitar teacher too. so let your parents know.

Answer 6

This creep should be in jail you are under age and he knows it get away from him now nothing good will ever come out of this >It happened to me once and the guy was 40 and I was 16 I was flattered at first and thought it was a big deal then he started to stalk me and say things like I want to cut your eyes out and take them home and put them on my pillow really scared me I had to tell some one to get it to end. so keep away he is no good.

Answer 7

You should close your hole before you get knocked up and then the daddy goes to prison for bangin a minor meanwhile your squirtin out a kid you can't afford which means the tax payer has to pay for your adolescent stupidity because your parents didn't give two damns about you in the first place.
Then you wind up on JErry Springer 100 lbs overweight with a half retarded kid hangin on your arm and not so cute anymore after your got warped out by the pregnancy trying to figure out which one of the OG Thug lifes is your baby daddy.

Then the baby grows up into a winner too and steals and bangs because mommas busy tryin to find a man that will respect her with a half retarded kid

Answer 8

Stay away! This man is not a man, but a creep. He knows better. He could be put in jail for this. Just say no to him and stop seeing him. If he keeps wanting to be friends with you, go see your guidance counselor. He's way too old. I thought you were going to say he was 23 or so. Not 33 or so! Geeze...he's unreal or just horny. Stay away!

Answer 9

It sucks to be him...especially since you told your friend and now millions of chatters on Yahoo! He's going to jail, plain and simple; it's too dangerous in this day and age to even play with those types of situations, especially since he's a man in a position of suthority in your educational life. I wish you well, neither of you has done anything truly wrong, you just live in a society that frowns on that behavior. Sorry...

Answer 10

He should be more cautious and have more sense. He doesnt have all that. So its your responsibility to take care. Watch out else you could get scorched!! His experience in matters related to sex itself is probably as old as your age is.

And you say he is a teacher?? Find out if you the only girl he is doing things with or you are one of those..Get him sacked