"Time out" is a thing of the past...Why are so many parent still using this kind of negative discipline?

Question

You ask me what do I use instead of time outs? First of all I don't beat my children. I talk to my children when they do somthing inappropriate. And you are right "Time out " is supposed to be used in a possitive way meaning that instead of stitting them in a chair or isolating them to punish, you send them to a safe place where they can calm down and then comes the consequence which is talking about what they did and how it affected the family or person (depending on the situation. Children learn best when they are not upset or drunk on emotions. According to resent brain studies done be Dr. Becky Baily ," Brain smart", she believes that time out today is being used in a negative way to intimidate children and to make them be have better. It's used as a punishment. It makes children feel like they are bad kids instead of seeing what kind of effect their innappropriate behavior had on the family. Time out is just a quick fix. An easy way out for the parent.

Answer 1

It is not a thing of the past, and it is not negative. These days, kids don't think that they need to be disciplined, and look what happens. Thugs on the streets. Quit complaining. You should be happy that they care enough about you, and the rest of the world to find it within their hearts to show an upper hand.

Answer 2

Time outs are a good thing, and not negative. The only time they are or become negative is when you put them in a time out in their bedroom, or if its for an excessive amount of time.
Nowadays, seems more parents dont want to get up & take action against the offence the child is making. (Due to working long hours, tired themselves etc.)
But I have learned with 4 children that children learn young what to not do (but still push the buttons & do it anyways). My 9 month old understands the words "No" & "Dont Touch". This she has known for 2 months now, since she could crawl around & get into things. (which dr's say they are surprised at her knowing this already)
Time outs to me are fine if in a place where you can keep an eye on them, and limit their time. Dr's say 1 minute per year: 4 years/ 4 minute time out. If you put them into a specific chair every time it works well. But if you put them in a time out in their bedrooms, they will not want to go to bed, they will think they are being punished. You see, this thinking now!? Well, I do Time Outs, and they have improved my childrens behavior & attitudes. Its better then Spanking I think & less damaging or Negative to a child.

Answer 3

time out is not a negative discipline. It is also not outdated and a thing of the past. children do not like to sit still and making them do a time out gives them time to think about what they did wrong and makes them think twice before doing it again. As a parent I am sick of hearing about negative discipline. Children need discipline. That is what is wrong with the twenty somethings of this world-they have no disicipline in their life to learn from. That is also why you see 30 and 40 year olds still living at home. The bible says spare the rod and spoil the child meaning they need to be dsciplined. I spoil my boys but they also know there are consequences for wrong behavior and bad choices. That is how we learn to survive in the real world. I don't agree with spanking, but discipline is neccessary to raise a child so he can make good choices when he is on his own.

Answer 4

What is negative about it? is it any more negative then discipline in general? I do not remember discipline being seen as a positive thing for kids...my children do not look forward to it.

Time out is a way to let your children catch their Breath, and you too, before you get to the bottom of the behavior that you are trying to correct. There does come a time when a child is to old for a time out, at that point you become creative. (We once told my son he could not go to his t-ball game...he then back talked about how he did not want to go anyhow, we made him dress and sit the bench in support of his team. He also had to answer why he was not playing when people asked....we never had that problem again)

Time out is not a thing of the past, it is a useful part of raising children and parents.

Answer 5

Time out is supposed to be a positive discipline, its giving a child a moment to gather his emotions and calm down. It was the psycologists answer to Standing in the corner.

But positive parenting is not always smiling and lovey-dovey goo-goo. This world is a dangerous place and there are negative things in this world that bring negative consequenses. we have to prepare them for real life.

A child is to be first loved, second nurtured, third taught, and lastly disciplined. and always in that order!

Answer 6

WHY is it a thing of the past when so many doctors and child experts recommend it?

I find that it works very well, and so do millions of others. Besides, time out is GREAT experience for "real" life. You mess up as an adult, you go to time out.............in jail, prison or house arrest.

Answer 7

What would you suggest then? The problem these days is this hippie parenting crap. Kids learn to do what they want and there are no consequences. This is what is wrong with our society today. One minute for each year of their age. Works in our house.

Answer 8

your right just let the kids run wild to be with the times
sounds dumb right time out is the best thing i can think of and maybe its because it works till the age of 7 then you start taking things away for the bad behavior.

Answer 9

Man-we can't win, some people think spanking is a form of child abuse (not myself personally) If we don't discipline our children in some way we will ALL as society pay for it later in life.

Answer 10

If I have to choose between time out and beating my child, I'll take my chances with time out. Do you find it more negative to sit down and listen to someone explain to you what you have done wrong and why you shouldn't do it as opposed to getting the crap beat out of you?