are children better off with a single parent than 2 parents who are constantly fighting?

Question

Even if it means relocating and changing schools

Answer 1

None of the two are the ideal but sometimes people find themselves in those situations through no fault of theirs. What is always important is what is best for the child. You have brought them into this world and you are responsible for ensuring they are well taken care of and that includes ensuring that they are living in a loving home. So if it means being a single parent to ensure that this happens, then so be it.

Answer 2

Yes, I definitely think that children are better off with a calm and contented single parent than with two parents who are constantly at each others' throats.

Relocating and changing schools should be handled with care, though, especially as the children might be very attached to the parent who doesn't live with them.

Answer 3

In many cases yes..BUT the single parent cannot just up and leave with a child. Both parents have the same rights unless the court says different. I know that in many states, even if physical custody is given to one parent but both parents have joint custody (most common), the parent with physical custody is bound to agreements set forth by the court. For example, the single parent cannot move more then 50 miles away without consent of the other parent.

Answer 4

Yes, my mom is a single parent and before her and my dad got a divorce they were always fighting and it completly disturbed my life. When she finally divorced him I was mad and afraid of the change and eventually I began to like the change much better and when I am around my dad now I am so glad they got a divorce. Plus when you are constently fighting something bad could happen because someone can get mad and her someone, not just you maybe your kid. You might not think your husband would do that to his own kid but if he fights in front of the child which is very tramatising he would more than likely get tooo mad and do something he will regret later. Trust me I have been a victim in this matter.

Answer 5

I was married for 13 years and have 4 young children who i love dearly. My wife and i were not happy together, it was a loveless marriage in the latter years and what tends to happen is that both of us get more stressy with the kids and don't give them the best of our love.
So after much thought even tho it was very painful for me, i decided to leave the family home, (i knew this was what my ex wanted anyway) I was so unhappy! But now, my self esteem has picked up and when my kids stay with me, they absolutely love it, and are happy.
It is definitely better to seperate if two people cannot live together.
Your children WANT you to be happy too! They will be happier if they know you are happier, as long as they know it is NOT their fault for the seperation and you both still love them. We live in a real world, and these things happen, relationships do break down, and until you have been through this you will never understand it.
We told our children that we were seperating, and one of daughters said, Daddy I understand! I get on sooo well with all my children now, because i can focus on loving them, not on how can i love when i am not loved!
So in one word, YES is my answer!
Marc

Answer 6

Honestly, yes. It is unhealthy for children to be exposed to that constant stress. Children will pick up unhealthy patterns from watching their parents fight that they will carry over with them into their relationships.

I do encourage couples having trouble to try their best to work it out before considering divorce. Try counseling, a temporary separation...anything to avoid having to put your child through a divorce.

Divorce is hard on children but can be less damaging in the long run if both parents are mature and work together for the best interest of the children. Anything you can do to help the children stay consistant is important.

It's a tough place to be in.

Answer 7

i believe children are better off with both parents present but if the fights become a daily "routine" and has affected your children already i guess it's time to have a serious talk with your spouse as to where you want to lead your family.we all have our choices.we can either have a broken family or a happy family.if both of you are sane enough to admit your mistakes, willing to patch things up,choose to have a normal family and give your family a chance to be together you are giving your kids a very precious gift of having a dad and mom they can rely on anytime of the day, all year round.but if you cannot agree on something or one of you insist that he is always right and the other always wrong and gone to the point where you want to poison each other(like our situation), then, your children are better off with the sane parent..but make sure the kids retain their respect towards the other parent because no matter how bad that parent is, it is God's command that children obey their parents.it's an unconditional command..think, decide and act.your decision is important for the good of the kids.God bless

Answer 8

definitely. my parents divorced when i was 11 and my sister was 9. it was a bit crap at first but things got sorted out in the end. the hardest part is sorting out time with children. just remember that there are 2 parents and your children aren't possessions, they have feelings too. believe me it won't help you in the long run to fight about who they should live with etc... if the child doesn't live with you they will be miserable - the only thing that matters is if your child is happy, not about getting one up on your ex by having the children with you. before it gets to the stage, have you tried to go to marriage counselling - you maybe able to help the problems in your marriage, rather than just giving up on it all together. another big point is don't spoil your children if it does come to a separation - my parents did this with my sister and me, i wasn't easily bought but my sister was, when the treats stopped with mum she would move to live with my dad and vise versa... you get the idea. what they really need is stability, if they are going to live with you indulge in a few treats but also show them that this is the new normal for your family, they are still going to have chores to do, and schoolwork etc...
it will help them in the long run to have that stability.
i hope this helps and i wish you all the luck in the world, it takes a lot of courage to make a desicion like this.

Answer 9

I can definitely relate to that question! I left my husband because of all the fighting and bickering. My son was sad at first but he adjusted. And he is doing fine. I moved and relocated him to another school this fall. I think it's great! No more fighting. I think it's better this way and for my kids not to see the fighting.

Answer 10

Children don't do well at all in environments filled with anger & hostility. Kids can deal with alot in a loving & peaceful environment. As for changing schools - that's nothing & certainly the least of your problems at the moment. My little girl has changed schools a couple of times & not liked it at first but adapted really well. A bad relationship will teach your kids how to have bad relationships in their own adulthood. If there is no way to improve your relationship then you need to separate. I've done it myself & i've never regretted it once i got over the initial breakup phase. It's wonderful that you are putting your kids first & thinking about their welfare - lots of parents don't.