so i went out with this guy ,well feel in love with this guy 5 bloody years ago we lasted 2 years when i broke up with him as i could not put up with his jealousy and insecurity of our relationship any more... it put me off having another relationship for about 3 years and then i met someone else it only lasted about 6 months as i was unsure whether i wanted to have a boyfriend.... so basically i have been single for 5 years and getting pretty lonely but cant seem to allow myself to be with anyone, well there is excatly much choice where i live ive been told before im too fussy ...... could this be the case or is there something wrong with me ????
2007-01-10 21:43:47 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds like for whatever reason the relationship you had 5 years ago has really put you off relationships. It sounds to me like you're being really careful not to get hurt or get into a destructive relationship again. You've got your guard up and you don't want to let it down. No man is good enough because deep down you don't really want a boyfriend because you're afraid of it not working out again. Unfortunately, life is a series of failed relationships before you meet that one man who makes it all worth while. Experiencing crappy boyfriends makes us appreciate the good ones even more. No man is perfect and you can never be sure whats going to happen in a relationship but that's half the fun. Don't take it seriously. You can date men without having to commit or enter into a relationship. Ease yourself into it gently. Just enjoy spending time with a man and enjoy the company. Go out for meals and have fun and don't worry about having a boyfriend. Just relax and enjoy yourself and everything else will come in time.
2007-01-10 21:52:45 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm pretty sure that's not the whole story life isn't that simple, so I would say there is something wrong with you or yes you are too fussy. Maybe have a chat with a close friend or a councillor and try understanding yourself better (its the best thing I've ever done).
It's the case with a lot of women nowadays they expect too much when at the end of the day guys in general are pretty similar really and they're not really very complicated and most of them are really quite easy to get along with.
Guys don't really have that many requirements!
However there are a lot of guys out there who are very independent and can't really be bothered to put in the required effort to create and maintain a comitted long term relationship because they don't really care about the benefits.
2007-01-10 22:00:05 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of the problems is that you're probably seeing every man you meet without the "rose colored glasses". You're looking for the flaws instead of being blind to them.
(*shrug*) I can't tell you that you're being too fussy, as I firmly believe people aren't fussy enough sometimes. Only you can decide that.
I know after my last relationship, I realized that what I really want is a man with less baggage than a transatlantic jet carries. I'm down to a single carryon, and I find anything more than that to be incredibly annoying. (*shrug*) My decision was to have friends, do things I've always wanted to (alone), and enjoy my time to myself. I like me..so spending time with myself is actually one of my favorite things to do.
You need to spend some time deciding what you want and where you are. You may not really want a relationship, but are having a hard time admitting that to yourself. You could be afraid you'll make the wrong choice again, and spend too much time in the wrong relationship.
Good luck.
2007-01-10 21:52:21 · answer #3 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
fell in love 5 years and then went out for 2. 5 - 2 = 3. Then during those three years you went out for 6 months 3 - .5= 2.5. So at the very, very most you could have only been single 2 and a half years.
2007-01-10 21:49:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a 5 year relationship with a person who was getting deeply into alcohol for the last 2 years... I got out and remained completley single for a year... I had nothing left inside of me to give to someone else... So I spent that time healing and getting myself back together to a stage where I had a lot to give and I felt good about myself again!!! For 3 years past that I have had short term relationships on average each one lasted 6mths...They just were not what I was looking for!!! I'm extremly fussy and I know what I want so I will know when I find Mr Elusive!!! However I have met who I believe to be Mr Elusive last month and I'm extremly happy and I can see a future with this guy... We both have a very strong connection to each other... So we shall see... Believe me when you find Mr right, he is worth waiting for... You be as fussy as you like... It's tougher to find someone but when you do it's FANTASTIC.... I met my guy on a dating web site called match.com... This is a great way to meet guys... as you can correspond with them and feel a connection before you meet them...So you filter out a lot of crap! You WILL allow yourself to be with someone!!! But with you he has to be the RIGHT one not just any guy!!! That is part and parcel of being fussy... But as I said it IS worth it in the end... Stick with it girl... Mr Right is out there looking for YOU as well. If you believe in tarot etc there is a great web site called Kasamba.com and click on spirtual and religon and you can live MSN with the reader... I highly recomend Terry, David-James and Nicola. You go girl... Believe in yourself there is nothing wrong with you. Best of luck and I wish you Health, Happiness and Love for 2007.x
2007-01-10 22:16:49 · answer #5 · answered by cranberry queen 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit down with a paper and pen and write down just what you want out of a guy, and why you need a steady guy. If it's for company, or pleasure, sexually or otherwise? Have a good think about it then try and define what habits you would like him to conform too! Once you've worked that out, go out looking! But remember! A partner can be rather restrictive for your social life and you do have to do his washing! Underpants! Yuk! So have a good think before you plunge in! Good luck!
2007-01-10 22:02:28 · answer #6 · answered by wheeliebin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are pretty normal. I have done same thing myself. Guess now I am just to set in my ways and may be to fussy about what I want! It is hard to get close to new people when you get hurt in the past!
2007-01-10 22:15:38 · answer #7 · answered by djp6314 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No darling there is not problem with you. You are nice lady and had to break out due to jealousy and insecurity of your friend. You are very much aware of such relationship. I fail to understand why you chose and pick a guy so often as it is shoe or shirt.
2007-01-10 21:55:21 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was single for 6 years. Got called fussy, too, which is a compliment. Better to be fussy when it concerns your emotions, I think.
I've met someone now. You will, too. No doubt it will happen when you are least looking for it. There is someone for everyone.
2007-01-10 21:52:17 · answer #9 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
properly purely in view which you have exams doesnt advise you cant bypass out! purely take it hassle-free and dont get completly smashed!! you ought to study an device or sumthin, that often good exciting, even with the indisputable fact that studying stuff on your examination and learing an device will possibly no longer b a competent thought... ummm, consult from new human beings and make new pals. What ever you choose relatively, its your existence so stay it the type you choose!! :) You dont ought to sense lonely because of the fact u dont have a boyfriend precise now, u produce different pals! digital mail me if u ever get relatively bored... wish i helped! :)
2016-10-06 23:54:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋