I just took my 20 month old daughter to school for the first time yesterday and I feel kinder of funny. I am excited that she goes to school and at the same time I am worried sick about how she is there. I know she gets along with other kids but I just get worried. Yesterday I called twice to check on her but I know I am becoming a pest. They have assured me she is ok but I can’t help wondering how she is. My wife says with time I will learn to accept it. How did you feel when you took your kids to school for the first time?
2007-01-10 20:33:37 · 19 answers · asked by tomwaterboy 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Dear Tom,
it's normal to be worried. Especially when she's your first born.
The way you describe it, it seems like your daughter enjoys going to school. You should be happy for that.
My parents told me when I went to school I cried and I didn't want to let go every day for 3 whole months. I can imagine it must have been horrible for them, but yet I've grown to be an independant young woman.
Whenever you get worried, try to think about how much fun she has playing with her friends and all the things she will learn in school. She will soon start to bring home drawings she made...
Be proud of her... Guide her on her way.
The paradox about children is that in order to have a good healthy relationship with them, you have to let them go...
2007-01-10 20:50:15 · answer #1 · answered by Lene H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I own a large day care / preschool, and we have lots of 20 month olds! If you are confident with the school, the staff and especially the primary teacher, then yes, everything will be fine. Is she crying at drop off? If so, not to worry. That is totally normal and expected. If she is not, you are in great shape. Remember that it is how SHE feels that is important. If she feels safe, happy and confident, you want to encourage her all the way. Be very careful not to let your feelings and emotions stress her out. We've had a number of kids here who come in to school excited about thier day, and the parents feel so guilty about leaving them that they say goodbye too many times, and drag out the transition to the point that the child ends up giving the parent what he or she wants and starts crying. It is confusing to a child for a parent to want them in school, and then turn around and be clingy. A good daycare or preschool will NOT get frustrated with your calls. I leave my office many times a day to go check on kids who had a tough night, or rough drop off. I also sit with parents after they drop off for a few minutes, then go down and check on them to assure them that the child is ok before they leave. It is my job and I know that parents typically have a tougher time than the kids. I always say that the kids are the easy ones, it's the parents who need the adjustment time. Hang in there. You will feel so much better once you get to know the staff better and see how happy she is. Oh, and if you are not getting a daily note about her day, ask for one. A quality center is always willing to provide these upon request, if they don't already do it.
2007-01-18 09:47:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have the seperation anxiety that most children feel.
Some children are just natural at exploring the world on their terms. I have two children, a boy-8 and a girl-5 and I went through that.
You have nothing to worry about. The seperation helps your child to develop proper social skills and these are skills that you would love for your child to have. This makes them more prone to become 'part of a group' and to have a social life. They will make decisions that will allow them access to many life lessons. They can't fully grow up if you are there doing everything for them.
Just keep in mind that it is only for a few hours a day. They always have you to come home to. Lean on your wife for support and don't feel foolish. It's great that you care so much but don't let your child feed off your anxiety; it may cause negative feelings and cause confusion. Don't make her feel as if going to school or leaving the comfort of her parents is a bad thing. Keep strong.
2007-01-18 22:18:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are feeling is completely normal! I cried for the entire day the first time I dropped my daughter off at daycare! It does get better with time especially when you feel comfortable with the provider and the fact that she enjoys it. If your provider thinks that your calls are too much then they are wrong! One thing that might make you feel better would be to drop by unexpectedly, and see how she is for yourself. You will also get a feel for the provider... they should have no problem with this and again if they do, you need to find a new provider.
2007-01-18 16:07:02 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my daughter started at at the day care, she'd cry up a storm when it came time for me to leave. I had to stand just outside the building and wait for the crying to stop. Many times I wanted to go back inside. I think I did once or twice and I was assured that she'd be okay. And she was.... It was me that wasn't! I just felt awful... like I was doing something terrible to her. But she adjusted and so did I. You will too... Right now you're just being a doting father and that's okay! It only makes you a better father....
Take care and good luck. Brenda
2007-01-11 04:42:46 · answer #5 · answered by Brenda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
School?
Do you mean day care? 20 month old babies don't attend school, so don't kid yourself. If it's daycare, call it daycare.
And yes, you will feel bad when you drop off your baby with total strangers. Eventually your child will adjust. And what you are feeling is GUILT.
I'd be more concerned with the number of illnesses your child is going to contract, or how long she's going to be made to wear a wet diaper than how you are dealing with your own guilt.
2007-01-15 23:02:05 · answer #6 · answered by wwhrd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I kept a brave face, then went in the hall and cried. I cried all the way to work. My son, however had a great time! Now I have a hard time getting him to come home! He loves being with his friends. It gets easier as time goes on.
2007-01-18 01:10:57 · answer #7 · answered by J. Hoffman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt the same way with my kids but it was harder for me with my second to the youngest because he would cry and I would go home and cry myself hoping I didn't have to take him back but three days pasted and now he says "BY Mom" I know I have to let him grow up. I know your daughter is fine at school because they are learning.
2007-01-17 00:20:51 · answer #8 · answered by Kyra G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was same way. acutally, prob. worse. i took my lil angel 3 days in a row, and couldn't leave her, so i didnt. it actualy wasn't even her. she reacted greatly about it. i couldn't stop crying, and couldn't bear to wak out an leave her in there. she wanted to stay. after a few days, of this. she started throwing a fit when so i left her there, for a little while. calling more times than needed. she was fine. and now still loves it!!!!! you just gotta realize as much as you hate it and wanna stop it, you can't. your baby is growin up too. before we know it they'll be driving and dating and all that stuff.
2007-01-17 04:03:00 · answer #9 · answered by angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When we first started taking our daughter to pre-school she would latch onto our legs and cry... It was the hardest thing to do but I would pull her off me, give her a big hug and promiss to come pick her up then hand her off to one of the teachers she likes... they even let her watch us drive away and it seemed to help a little... then she started making friends and now I walk her to her room and take off her coat, she gives me a five and off she goes... Im glad she has her friends, but I still miss her not wanting me to leave.
2007-01-18 19:35:05 · answer #10 · answered by Chris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋