I've had the privilege of knowing and dating some truly wonderful intellegent girls who share many of my values during college. A few years out of college I'm ready to date seriously again, but I can't find anyone even reasonably comparable. I meet lots of nice girls who show some interest, but I really don't show much interest because I feel I can do better. I'd consider trying to connect with the old college friends, but the geography isn't very feasible and I've burned some bridges.
Do I adjust my standards to the girls I am around now or do I wait it out for someone who meets my current expectations? Am I a total jerk for holding women to past experiences? Any women ever crushed on a guy who doesn't think your good enough for him?
2007-01-10 20:21:35 · 9 answers · asked by GreenManorite 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
"good enough" was meant colloquially, not in the sense of human worth. You can not fulfill someones needs or desires in a relationship and subjectively be "not good enough", while exceeding the expectations of another person with a different set of standards.
As to my standards, they are rather amorphous but involve intellegence, education, value of education, worldview/personal philosophy and piety.
2007-01-10 21:09:23 · update #1
Go back to the college girls who share your values if you have not burned bridges with them and see if they are still available. Go to where the girls are or see if they want to come to you.
Use the phone man...
I know a X is an X but a X may thrill you and turn into an O
The interest to connect with the unknown the do not have your sense of values or someone that is not on your educational level unequally yoked is not the right thing for you if you ask me.
O yeah, you are asking me. Silly rabbit tricks are for kids
Put your birth control on and keep dates like business trips and use your mind and not your fly for judgement. You will do fine.
2007-01-10 20:29:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What exactly are your standards? Nobody is perfect. A person can get to know what you like and will try to mold in that direction if given the chance to even like you. Maybe you should just give the girls your around a chance. I would never want to go out with anyone who thought they were better than me. We are all unique in our own ways but, we are all equal as humans. I know kind of what you're going through though, because I have high standards too, and I will stay single for a long time until I feel I have found someone who is close enough to my preferences. It doesn't make you a jerk but, it might make you feel desperate if too much time goes by.
2007-01-11 04:39:12 · answer #2 · answered by airtightreality 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rather than 'looking' for a serious relationship, just start/keep dating. Most likely you will eventually meet someone who sparks your interest beyond just a date or a fling.
Try mixing up the places you meet women. Avoid bars and dance clubs and look for people you see on a regular basis on your lunch break or something like that. Try volunteering somewhere and see if you meet someone there.
If your out there comparing every woman to a predefined list of what you're looking for you will find the selection very slim. But when you meet someone interesting you may find they don't meet half the requirements on your list.
2007-01-11 04:28:46 · answer #3 · answered by Justin H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No i dont think you're a jerk at all. I think in the same way, i wouldn't really compare my ex's to why i have the standards i have now, but some of there qualites. Its more that the guys i meet are missing something, they're probably perfect for someone else but I'm looking for something more. So i say dont feel bad about it, wait until you feel good about someone your seeing. Not like youre settling.
2007-01-11 04:31:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are aout of college now and hopefully mature enogh to know exactly who you are.
So ur expectations are good and well, just dont expect a perfect stepford wife.
There are women out there that could be ur match, its just getting to know her more and seeing where it can lead.
I dont know u but ur standards seem good and understandable, it is time for u to think about the one and want a good match.
U jut have to be patient and wait for it to come, u will know when its there because it will feel natural, and glide with ease.
Best of luck to you.
2007-01-11 04:31:32 · answer #5 · answered by Purple Haze 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to continue meeting people until u get the specific one you r looking for - in this case - girl.
to cut thing short,just dont blow off any girl whom u know.
mingle around with everyone of em n becomes friends,n if u both click,then good,then u can think of something more,but if u both dont click then just remain as friends.besides uve got nothing to lose.
n one more thing,in any kind of rship it has to be a 2 way thing.
2007-01-11 04:35:13 · answer #6 · answered by Simply Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd never think I wasn't "good enough" for a guy, but I'd believe we were or weren't compatiable.
2007-01-11 04:26:06 · answer #7 · answered by ṡ๓υгƒєtt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
urm ...try expanding your social circle ? ...its hard to change wut we like ..especially if its in the personality ...so theres no use changing your standards as bearing to be together now wont enable you to last forever moreover u might hurt her when u does break up with them !
2007-01-11 04:29:55 · answer #8 · answered by Cassie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOVE THE ONE U LOVE
2007-01-11 04:24:08 · answer #9 · answered by the foot 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋