ok, i am 22 and have a 24 yr old bf. we met 18 months ago and have been inseparable, except for the 3 month break up during the summer. we attend the same school SHSU, and of course have different majors and goals and paths in life. i want to get my BA in teaching after i got done with my Associates-last year-, my bf wants to get his BA after he also got his Associates. here's the problem:after 18 months of dating you would think that things would ge serious but we have not moved in together or anything.that is good in my opinion!here comes the problem:my bf i dont think is really serious about this realtionship more like " a whatever thing" vs. me who takes it more seriously.he told me that he cannot see himself with me in the long-run and that he does not see himself marrying me.is this relationship just sex based or is there an actual connection?he tells me he loves me everyday yet he also tells me that he does not take a lot of things seriously and i am questioning the relationship
2007-01-10 20:19:13 · 12 answers · asked by icycrissy27blue 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
when a guy says that he does not see himself with you in the long run that hurts but then why are we still together? shouldnt we already be broken up by now? and when we broke up-during the summer of 2006- he missed me and actually did not take me for granted like now sometimes. if he does not see himself with me 2 years down the road why is he still with me after 18 months? i mean, his relationships are nott hat long and we surpassed his longest relationship that he had before meeting me.is he just using me to have fun or does he actually care? i mean he surprises me with dinners, going to the mvies, etc. but is that good enough?
2007-01-10 20:25:31 · update #1
Well, on the one hand your not getting what you want and that is the most important thing for you to consider. On the other hand, have you communicated your needs to him clearly (without being coy?) I suggest you take him out, somewhere nice and intimate, and have a heart to heart. Tell him what you've told us. You make just get an 'I don't know for sure.', but at least you know where he's at. He may never know for sure, with anyone, but that wouldn't be your fault. Ultimately, it's your move if you want things to change. Good luck hon!
2007-01-10 20:26:14 · answer #1 · answered by Huguenot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl....wake up!!! The problem here is your BF doesn't seem to know what he really wants and he definitely sounds afraid of getting himself committed.I mean, if a guy would say something like "does not see himself marrying" you & "cannot see himself with" you in the long-run then what are you waiting for??
I can understand if a guy is shy of approaching a girl or afraid of being rejected and all but your BF.....he had his chance,he got you and yet he's still being a ficklinga-ding-dong.
My advise.....dump him and MOVE ON girl.I'm sure there's so many nice guys out there who would treasure and cherish your love.You are still young and there's a long way to go....get to know more people,make friends,go out on dates ...but not necessarily get hitch.Sometimes when you're not really looking(for LOVE),it might just come to you and eventually,you might just find the right one.ALWAYS know what you want and no matter what NEVER,never compromise your education for a guy.Do whatever you want NOW (education,good career prospects,travel,adventure...) Don't live your life full of regrets.So what if your BF tells you he loves you everyday!?! YOU make yourself feel COMPLETE,not the other person.You've gotta love yourself FIRST girl.
Good luck dear!
2007-01-10 20:59:25 · answer #2 · answered by Oreo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a good question. If he doesn't take you and youre relationship seriously, than you should think if he is the right for you. It probably is just sex, but if he still doesn't want to think of your future together, and he says he REALLY loves you, I don't know. He does not take a lot of stuff seriously, he's 24 he should start!
2007-01-10 20:28:43 · answer #3 · answered by Joka B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie if the guy has told you he can't see himself marrying you thats not a good thing. why waste your time on someone that won't take you seriously when apparently thats what you want from him. Might as well look for it else where because he might not come around. Maybe you should take a break and see whether he comes back or not but then again you might be setting yourself up for heartbreak and heartache!!
2007-01-10 20:25:06 · answer #4 · answered by cHiKiBaBe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on. you are looking for a commitment this guy isn't going to make. Moving in isn't a good idea either, stats show couples that live together before marriage have a dramaticly higher rate of divorce than those that don't.
You aren't going to reform this guy, move on
2007-01-10 20:29:42 · answer #5 · answered by Shane L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because he doesn't see you two married doesn't mean he doesn't love you. It sounds like he is being sensible and letting you know that he doesn't see your relationship moving beyond what you now have. You should focus on your career. He is.If there was no connection he wouldn't be with you. Just be prepared to move on.
2007-01-10 20:26:37 · answer #6 · answered by karena k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him n move on...he already said he don't see anything with u in the long run...that ain't love. To many people Love is just a word they always use...but they dun understand the meaning of it...so they misuse it. He doesn't know what love is yet. He cld say he love u every millisecond...but he don't mean it...so, it means bullshit altogether.
2007-01-10 20:25:19 · answer #7 · answered by DooGie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. You're young and there's plenty of time to find someone who will take things seriously. Doesnt sound much like he loves you to me. Besides, if you get rid, maybe then he'll start taking things seriously...
2007-01-10 20:25:10 · answer #8 · answered by Sir Digby Chicken Bhuna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is a good thing. Enjoy your life. At 22, thinking about marriage is outrageous, hideous, repulsive and obscene.
2007-01-10 20:24:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He may like you alot but he is definately not going to commit, so if you want a serious relationship find someone else
2007-01-10 20:24:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋