My step dad died in feb & my 16 yr old pup died in May. Y did I cry more 4 my pup than step dad?

Question

My step dad fought throat cancer 4 14 months & died in Feb day after his birthday! My 16 yr old Husky died in May of liver & spleen cancer. Y did I cry more 4 my pup then 4 my step dad? I knew my step dad longer than my pup! In fact my step dad was the 1 who got me my pup! I know they were close SD (step dad) & pup. She was always by his side even when he died! When they took his body out of the house she tried 2 follow them 2 the herse. I know she was depressed when she went out she tried 2 find his scent in the grass (she followed the EXACT path they took him 2 the herse). When we took her 2 his grave site she tried 2 dig 2 get 2 him we think she still smelled his scent (it was about 2 weeks after he passed away). Y did they both have 2 die from cancer & so close 2gether? I only cried @ my SD's wake/funeral (@ the cemetery) & I cried 4 days after my pup died? Y I don't understand? Any ideas?

We knew Holloween my SD was coming home 2 die (he had 4-6 m)(This was his dying wish 2 die w/ family near).On his birthday he had a stroke & after that could not talk or communicate @all (B4 stroke used sign language 2 talk)! I had 2 give him morphine 20ml via peg tube(tube in stomach) every 2 hrs around the clock 2 keep him comfortable! I wish I could have told him I loved him 1 more time.When his nurse came over she ordered more morphine & told her supervisor that he was dying & had maybe 24 hrs left (only had 16 hr& 45min left).I stayed up w/ him that night he then needed 24hr care.I took 1st watch! I found out that I can last 20hrs straight on 1hr & 45 min of sleep.I made all phone calls & arrangements.No 1 else was able! I always gave him his med's since he was 1st diagnosed.I bascally took care of him w/ feeding via peg tub & meds! I gave him last 20ml of morphine dose of every 2hrs- 5 minutes b4 he died!When nurse came she told me I didn't kill him but I feel like I did!

His nurse said that I was following directions abt every 2hr w/ med but after I gave last dose I sat down next 2 him.5 minutes later my hubby told me 2 look & I realized his stomack was still (he had been belly breathing)! We knew he was dying slowly just didn't know exactly when! As 4 pup we had NO IDEA she had cancer -liver & spleen.1 day fine acring like puppy next day started seizing while hubby & I @ court.Got home 2 c another 3 seizures. Called vet told take her hospital.B4 we could get her in2 car had another 2! Last(#4) seizure lasted 5 mins. Finally got 2 hospital & were told had cancer & would continue seizing till had stroke & b brain dead.Her hide legs also paralyized (couldn't unerstand y could not walk)!Cancer took us by surprise Liver & Spleen.Were given 2 options 1) put her down 2) let her have more seizures till had stroke & was brain dead then put down. Hubby & Mom 2 upset MY CHOICE 2 make.Asked vet her choice-put her down! "Told vet no more pain yes put her down."

I made the hardest choice but I couldn't stand 2 c her suffer anymore!Vet said wouldn't live more than 24 hrs either way.Did I want painful or peaceful? I told vet peaceful! I CAN'T BLIEVE I LET THE VET KILL MY DAUGHTER, MY BABY, MY PUPPY!! I have her ashes in my house & I sleep w/ her collar everynight.I also have her H20 dish & food dish out as well as her bed out I can't put them away it's 2 hard!!I can't have children so my dogs/cats r my children!My mom & I were w/ her when she was put down I didn't want her 2 b scared or alone.Hubby said bye after vet tech brought her 2 us 4 the last time!When Vet came in he left!I pet her & told her how much I loved her @ least 100 times!The vet told us everything she did each shot (1st shot 2 put her 2 sleep 2nd 2 stop her heart!)After 2nd shot checked 4 a heart beat couldn't find 1!I went numb when the vet said "Her hearts stopped she's gone!"I felt like I lost a piece of me a piece of my heart & I still do!Their 1st annversarys r coming up!!

They died exactly 3m 19 days apart from each other!! TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT!!!!

Answer 1

.... because you had time to say goodbye to your step dad. I'm assuming your pup passed away unexpectedly? Maybe your grief for the passing of your step dad expressed itself in your grief for the puppy's passing. My condolences to you and your family.

Answer 2

I was in a similar situation...my dog was 15 1/2 and my grandma and dog passed away within 2 months of each other. I also cried more and thought about my dog more than my grandmother. Reason?

I think it's because animals in general are so innocent and we can only think of the good in them and how they made great companions. When you're feeling down, your dog will always come to cheer you up with a lick or the wag of its tail. When we yell at a dog, it doesn't yell back, it just knows your mad, but right after, it will still come and wag its tail begging for your affection.

On the flipside, when we yell at a human, they have the ability to understand and yell back, cry, react in an emotion so we oftentimes think of the ups and downs when thinking of a loved one.

All dogs want is your attention and affection while humans portray many more desires and emotions in wanting to be with another human; whether it's out of love, pity, jealously, revenge, etc. In general, dogs are content with a human being being there for them while a human needs much more than a random person accompanying them to socialize.

In short, its just too darn hard to get mad at an animal when all they know how to do is love you back. <3

*Remember, dogs have a mental capacity of a 3 year old! =)

Answer 3

First of all, there's no rule that says you have to cry in the first place. OK, that having been said, think of it like this. Your step-dad died and then just a couple of months later your pup died. One grief piled on top of another so close together is bound to produce more tears, because it's very painful. Don't feel ashamed or wierd of guilty or any of that stuff. Each person reacts to a situation differently. I did not shed one tear when my mother died, though I loved her very much. Yet I cried buckets when some friends of mine died. Who knows why these things happen? Who really cares? The important thing is to get on with your life and let the past be in the past.

Answer 4

Not that I'm an expert, but you might have cried more for your dog because you step dad bought/picked it out for you. You might associated her with him, kinda as the last connection to him. Plus the passings were very close to each other. Your emotions were and still are very raw. Animals also have a way of accepting you in no matter what mood you're in, not judgemental in the least. As I said I'm no expert, but if my 4 yr old dog would pass away tomorrow I'd probably fall apart. He was my son's best buddy, we lost my son (3 yr old at the time) last year to a tradgic household accident. So yes sometimes an animal can bring out the humanE in you.

Answer 5

We cannot say goodbye to our animals as we can our families. When someone has cancer, we usually have a specific amount of time in which we can tell the person how much they've meant to us, say our goodbyes, and prepare. The other person can converse back and forth with us, for awhile.

We cannot verbalize, and have animals understand, our speech, as with other humans. With animals, their passing is sometimes sudden and we don't have a chance to even hug them goodbye, which makes it harder on the humans.

You were obviously very close to both your pup and your stepdad, and they to each other, and this is hard for you. I'm sure both of them knew how much you cared -- animals have a way of sensing these things.

I am very sorry for both of your losses.

Answer 6

I was terribly affected when my cat died because I realised my cat devoted his entire life to me. Waiting for me to come home. Always making sure he was around to 'help me out'.. When he died I felt a real emptiness. Probably because I was so important to him and now I lost someone who needed and loved me so much. It's simple and pure. You may honestly take some time to deal with your S/Ds death. The fact that they happened so close together means you may not have been able to express ur feelings properly.. The death of your dog probably just added to the grief and cause you to cry more.. Maybe you were grieving for them both..

Answer 7

The closeness with your pup made you cry a lot. You missed your pup a lot: hugging her, playing with her, feeding her, and all other things you did with her and for her, for 16 long years! All of a sudden, you realized that she's no longer here with you, your best friend! You loved her very much and you know that she loved you the best she could!

Answer 8

I think that your pup was a a connection to your stepdad that remained after he died. When you cried for your dog, i think you were really crying for both your losses not just for the dog. Because that connection with your stepdad was now gone also.

Answer 9

B/c we view animals as more helpless and sometimes feel partial responsibility when they die (like, what could I have done?) and you were probably more prepared for your stepdad's death than your dog's. Plus, animals have such a short life it seems unfair.

Answer 10

You love your dog more that your step dad.