I'm 21yrs old and Ive been dating my girlfriend for over 3 months and she is my first EVER. First girl I have ever kissed or made love to. She's dated at least 4-5 guys in the past and has had sexual relationships with them too. Every once in awhile they will come up in my mind and I think of the things they did together both romantically and sexually and it really bothers me. I know she cares about me and she's told me i'm different from the rest of them. But I can't stand it sometimes. I just feel like I'm inadequate.
2007-01-10 18:23:43 · 14 answers · asked by TheWanderer 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The role reversal these days never ceases to amaze me.
It's not easy being a virgin when it seems like no one else is.
And no you are not inadequate and if she tries to make you feel that way kick her experienced *** to the curb.
Communication does actually help males too.
2007-01-10 18:33:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you ever measure yourself up to anybody! Everyone is diff.
Past relationships always come up as a conversation piece just as any old topic. Guys talk to guys about their dating experiences, girls with girls, and guys with girls; it's normal. It would only be a problem if she's bringing it up as a basis of comparison to you, and you can tell because it will be a revolving door subject. But if it's not, then relax!
You've stated your girlfriend has more experience than you and that's fact. But that should in no way intimidate you, or cast doubt in your mind. Honestly, do you think that she's wondering about how many girls make googly eyes at you during the day while she's away? Or what kind of hanky-panky you've been involved in long before you both met? Healthy jealousy is healthy as long as you don't construct it into an obsession, and judging from what you've said it sounds like it's evolving into that. You'd be surprised how little effort and how quickly it takes for an obsession to matriculate and get out of control.
Take your focus away from this and yes, you are obligated to move on if you want to zero in on building a healthy relationship. Congrats on your newfound love! - very few people ever find love and you dont' want to lose her to insecurity, do you?
Kiss your inexperience goodbye! and allow her affections to guide you there! (trust me, inexp. is irrelevant / it's all a game of catch-up) Simply love your girlfriend and enjoy your relationship to it's very last drop.
2007-01-11 02:50:35 · answer #2 · answered by SloBoMo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's very natural to feel this way. Although she's had more "experience" than you, it shouldn't make you feel inferior to her or her ex's.
Could you be feeling this insecurity because you're losing that feeling for her?
If it bothers you that much that you guys hadn't lost "virginity" to each other, then perhaps you should reconsider your position in the relationship. Just because she is the first of everything for you doesn't mean she is the right one for you, it's just that you made the decision to share somethin special with her.
I don't think you should let her past intimidate or dominate you. Look beyond her past because whatever happened with her and her ex's was before "you and her" happened.
Have some trust in her and believe what she says about you. Maybe she honestly feels you are genuinely different from all the guys she's been with.
IF you still feel the insecurity, try talkin to her about how you feel, and if she cares, she understand and reassure you that you're right for her.
2007-01-11 02:32:42 · answer #3 · answered by Alicia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having sex with 5 guys before one is even 20 shows some lack of character and since she's hot to trot it's best you find a gal who thinks before jumping into bed with every tom,dick,harry, but actually the truth is no one really knows what the outcome will be, so if you wanna try going for her do it ! Don't listen to us losers who are on the computer this late at night with no partner waiting in bed for us .
2007-01-11 02:31:01 · answer #4 · answered by search 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at it the other way around.
You're girlfriend has never been with another man and you've been with 10 women in the past. She gets mad at you that you can't change the past, even though you are truely in love with her and would never want another women except her. But she won't forgive you for the girlfriends you had in the past.
Who's the one being irrational? You, or she?
2007-01-11 02:30:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she's with you, chances are you ARE someone different. she didnt stay with the other guys because she's tired of that type...maybe she wants a different type of relationship. it just sounds like you have self-esteem problems and are insecure about yourself and your performance. dont worry, everyone has to start somewhere =] just make sure you keep her happy--thats the best way to a girl's heart. be honest with her if you're uncomfortable, hopefully she'll understand...if not, then it's something to look into. good luck!
2007-01-11 02:29:14 · answer #6 · answered by xeternal_heavnx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to get over your territorial insecurities. Sure she's been around the block. But so what? What matters is that she's with you right now and she doesn't want to be with anyone else. Otherwise she would have left aleady. And know you've been around the block!
It's all perspective.
2007-01-11 02:42:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop worrying. She's with you now!
Girls like guys who are innocent and who can really focus on them. We like to have your complete attention. Also, just because she's had sex with other people in the past does NOT mean she's thinking about them, or that she wants to be with other people. If you're really worried, you should talk to her about it. Otherwise, just relax and be thankful for this wonderful girl you have.
2007-01-11 02:29:57 · answer #8 · answered by Sabby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing.. You are fortunate to realise that women need quite a lot to be satisfied. She will need more then you to satisfy her as time goes buy as you are not perfect. It is sometimes hard for men to adjust to knowing that their women need more then they can give and you are coming to terms with that. Just love her the best you can..
2007-01-11 02:29:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, if she really likes you, she really wants to be with you. Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before you find the prince.
2007-01-11 02:30:45 · answer #10 · answered by Krysta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋