alcoholism problem?

Question

I really need help. My dad's an alcoholic. My mom left him. He's been in and out of rehab and AA, what the hell can i do? I can't live embarassed, and going out whenever he calls for a ride because he's too drunk to get home by himself. My mom couldn't take it anymore, she's is gone and not coming back. any advice? Like before it's too late to do something about it?

Answer 1

The first piece of advice is for you to go to Al-Anon - for yourself, not for your dad. The best advice will come from these folks that are related or love an alcoholic. The alcoholic in their lives may still be drinking or may be many years sober - or may no longer be in their lives - but the effects of the alcoholic's drinking may still linger. In many instances, Al-Anon's continue to go to meetings years after the drunk sobered up, but are there for the same reason that sober alcoholics continue to go to meetings, to help the newcomer.

Whether first attending AA (or returning) or a formal treatment program, all alcoholics are "forced" to attend. Some are court-ordered, some are spouse-ordered, some are boss-ordered, and some are liver-ordered (or whatever health issue it may be). Nobody wakes up one day and says to themselves, I think I'll go to AA today! Find out if your dad remembers anyone from AA. If so, he should give them a call. Most sober AAs today did not get sober on their first try. This may scare you, for me it took: 22 hospital admissions (some just for detox, others for medical reasons), 7 inpatient rehabs, 4 outpatient programs, 5 DWI arrests, 3 car crashes, 1 failed marriage, umpteen girlfriends, and a failed career before I got sober. Yet others get it the first time. As long as your dad is breathing, he still has a chance.

What your dad needs is what we call "the gift of desperation." There has to be some sort of a wake up call. The advice to stop enabling may help. It's called "tough love" for good reason.

Alcoholics can no longer differentiate the true from the false. In most instances "denial" is not strong enough to describe the delusional thinking that goes on in an alcohol-soaked brain. I used the break up of my marriage as an excuse to continue drinking for years. I was blinded to the fact that I was the real problem.

In closing, three pieces of advice. Again, find out where and when and go to an Al-Anon meeting. Secondly, quit enabling - and tell him why. Lastly, call your local health dept and ask for advice. They can steer you in the right direction concerning treatment options. Your dad may need to be medically detoxed or they may help arrange an intervention. They can assess the situation and make the best recommendations.

I'll pray for you and your dad.

Answer 2

It is really difficult (not impossible) to leave alchohal. One cannot leave this habit at one go. It has to be broken down. If you are consuming 1 bottle of whiskey per day, cut it down to half a bottle by end of two weeks and substitute it with less alchoholic drink like beer. Gradually phase out hard liquor with mild one and then phase out mild liquor as well. Am sure AA can give you more info on this.
I am not a drinker my self. Maybe a beer once in a blue moon. The secret is will power and I would say to my self that i will take alchohal next time or next day. Therefore I am not denying myself and neither I am consuming alchohal.
Hope it helps.

Answer 3

Find Alanon & Alateen meetings, depending on your age & what's available in your area...
I was brought up by alcoholics, but, of course, I didn't know that...I knew they drank & were always making trouble for me... before I could accomplish anything, I had to find out about alcoholism - by then I had already made many mistakes that made my life difficult.

BUT, through Alanon, 12-Step for families of alcoholics, I started to learn to recover from the effects of the alcohol dependence of my family.....
It's a life-long process & I work on it every day...

In Alanon I learned HOW to learn from my mistakes...it's a complex set of skills.
It's never too late & the only way to help is to get help for yourself...

Answer 4

Try to understand the reasons for his drink,maybe the advices given to him was not on the right way.
Every people take things in different way.So u should understand his interests other than alcohol,try to involve him more in those activities.
In this type of situation ur MOM should not left him b'coz ur father will get more depressed.
Try to develop patience and pray to god.
First bring ur mom home

Answer 5

There is nothing you can do unless he wants help. Absolutely nothing. You can however, not answer the phone and leave him to get home on his own . . . maybe if he winds up in the slammer a few times or somehwere else he might ask for help. You may have to move out as well.

Answer 6

It sounds like you have already tried everything you can do.

Quit enabling him. Let him find his own way home. You could force him into an institution, but I don't know if that would do any good. He has to want to quit.

If you love him, and it sounds like you do a little, you have to let him find his way to a point where he wants to get his life back. You can't do it for him.

Good luck and God bless.

Answer 7

Hi Mwells, I know how you feel. My dad is also and alcoholic with dementia. My dad has been drinking since he was 18 years old.He can't not stop,it would kill him. But i do know what your going threw. It's pure hell. A Friend.

Clowmy

Answer 8

Schedule an intervention with other people in his life, maybe even your mom? Rehab will eventually help but he has to really want it. Research some good clinics online and help him make arrangements.

Answer 9

Pour all his booze down the sink?