my parents found out that...?

Question

i have a boyfriend... im not allowed to have one and they found out cause i forgot my phone at home when i went to school and they read my messages. now they want me to break up with him.
i love him and he loves me
i tried to explain to them but they still want me to break up
they called him up and told him to stop dating me any more.
after that we still meet each other secretly at school cause we dont wanna break up... is that the right thing to do? even if we are hiding something behind my parents back?!

for those who are wondering how old i am......im 14 btw

Answer 1

What your parents don't know won't hurt them, just keep your grades up and your pants on. That's what your parents really care about.

I've been dating since I was 14 (I'm 18 now) and I'm not supposed to until I graduate college.

Answer 2

Who feed? Who dress you? Who's giving you a home? Who's giving you studies? Who's paying your entertainment? And you couldn't just pay attention to your studies? Come on!! When kids will learn that most of the parents are looking out for you? Are you older than 18? Cause I don't think do, What you gonna do now that you have missed your parents confidence? What's better a love of junior high that most probably won't last 2 semesters or your parents confidence that's something for life? I think isn't hard to choose. You'll have enough time after college or during the same to have a relationship in a more mature way.

!4!? Give thanks that at least they permited you a cell phone, which I believe was for an emergency only, if I was them I would buy you you the one with the 4 digits only with the pre-selected 4 number you may be able to call. Come on I think you parents deserve more respect from your behalf.

Answer 3

I have been there, girl- when I was dating my now husband; I was 16 and he was 19.

It seems that you are answering your own question that you know that it is wrong but don't want to stop and that shows your maturity level so maybe step back and pull in the claws and see it from your parents point of view and think if they may be looking out for your best interests?
(Mouth falling open in disgust)
Its true those mean hard nosed parents are trying to protect you from yourself and maybe this guy from taking advantage of you.

Okay I am shaking my head at the fact that you made a additional comment that 'by the way - I'm 14' ! Hey By the way, I got pregnant at 17 and it is HARD to be pregnant and going to school...this is NOT a game little girl! It sounds like you are doing this to piss your parents off on purpose when you know right from wrong and I am no saint and I thought I had morals too. But things change fast... so you better be ready or get out of the way!
(Eyes rolling on the floor, ears closed)

Answer 4

I don't know if it's the right thing to do, because really, keeping that big of a secret will eventually take it's toll on you and no one should have to hide something so big. Try sitting down with your parents when they're in a good mood and talk to them about how you're feeling. Let them know that you care about this boy and that you would follow any rules they set forth about dating were they to allow you to date. Lying is only going to prove to them that you're too young and that you can't be trusted to have a boyfriend. Maybe suggest having the boy over to dinner to meet your parents, or maybe set up something where your parents can meet him and his parents. The more they know about him, the more likely they'd be willing to consider allowing you to date. How old are you anyhow? If you're 15, I would say that having a boyfriend isn't out of the ordinary at your age, and that your parents could set up rules to their satisfaction allowing you two to date. If you're younger, you might want to keep it a casual at school relationship. Just hanging out, eating lunch together, etc.. My advice would be that lying isn't the way to go.

Answer 5

Well, that is a horrible situation. If you feel that your relationship with this guy is a healthy and loving one, then why should you let them stop you from seeing him and being happy?
You are becoming an adult now and you need to stand up for what you believe is right.
Your parents are just worried about you.
You may be hiding something behind your parents back, but its YOUR life and you should start making decisions for yourself and your future...hopefully your parents will see that you are becoming a grownup and will give you the right to make your own decisions.

Also ask your friends who know this guy if hes right for you... Your parents may think he is having a bad influence on you..SO Just make sure this guy is worth the fight!

Answer 6

Well I think a lot has To Do with how old you are. I 25 but when I was a teenager, my parents were the same way. It's not that your parents don't want you to have a boyfriend it's that they feel your not ready or mature enough. If you hide it they will Find out eventually and you will prove them right. I hope your at least 14 or 15. If you are you need to show your parents that your mature and want to be open and honest with them.

Tell your parents you want to talk to them and lay it out on the table. Tell them that you like this guys and don't want to hide things from them. Invite him over or ask him to call to speak to your dad and see if he could come over introduce himself. If your parents meet him and like him it will make things easier for you and them. Hiding it though will make thing worse and they will be more reluctant in the future to trust you. I know it's scary especially if your parents are super strict.


Trust me I did this and it worked, now I'm married to my high school sweet heart. Have your guy step up and be a man and talk to your parents.

Answer 7

First of all - how old are you?
If your old enough to have a mobile phone .. then I think your old enough to have a boyfriend. I know my family were very much the same when I was in high school ecpessially my brothers and I didn't have my first REAL boyfriend until the age of 17. It's hard to want your freedom and have your chance to show that you are maturing and you are mature enough to make these decisions. But at the same time it is hard for parents to let go and ecpessially when so many young people are getting themselves into trouble these days (god i sound old lol) ..
But it's true - kids are drinking at a much younger age and the crime in junior ages is incredible high - then there's drugs and kids having sex at the young age of 11 and getting pregnant (yes I know I am 18 years and pregnant but I wasn't out sleeping around .. this was my first sexual partner).
Maybe invite your boyfriend around to the house and all four of you sit down and discuss it - your parents DEFINATELY can't dismiss it if they haven't met him because they may actually fall in love him as you have!!

Best of luck

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Answer 8

Trust me, bad idea. When I was younger I dated a guy that my Dad didn't approve of. Not only did I constantly get grounded and lose the trust of my dad, I ended up dumping the jerk anyway. Guys will come and go and you will have plenty of boyfriends and even though you think you love this guy, chances are you guys won't be together long, especially if your parents disapprove. Your parents love you and raised you and have given everything to you, give your parents the benefit of the doubt and know that they are doing what is best for you. Do you really want to make your life a living hell by disobeying them and losing their trust. It is not worth it, you will end up miserable and it will take a long time to regain their trust if you break it. You parents will be in your life for years to come, this guy will be long gone before a blink of an eye. Listen to your parents, they have only your best interests at heart.

Answer 9

I understand that you have feelings for this boy.

I hope you have respect for your parents. Believe it or not, they DO care about you and are concerned that what you're doing may not be the best for you. Perhaps they dated too young; perhaps they know people who, because those people dated young got into trouble. In any case, I think you should talk to your parents about why you're doing what you're doing and try to understand the reasoning behind their decisions.

In the end, I hope your parents will be adult enough to accept if you challenge their wishes and wise enough to reward you if you abide by their ruling.

You can never go wrong by honoring your parents' wishes if those wishes are righteous, but hiding your relationship is the poorest choice. Do not be afraid of your choices, even if other people disagree with you. Good luck.

Answer 10

I went through that myself when I was 16. If you are 15 or younger you might should listen up to your parents. If you are 16 then you might just try talking to your parents about how you feel and stand your ground. I ended up marrying mine and we are still married after 11 years. Make sure hes right and not youthful lust. If he is more than 5 years older also, you best not be doing that. Just remember, once you start living lies, your life will become one.

Answer 11

You are too young to know what love is.

You two like each other. That is it. You will see later that this guy is sooooooooo non important in your life story.

Your parents should not tell you that you can not date him, but you need to understand that they have been through all this and they realize that this just doesn't matter... but you have not been through it so they should explain it better as to why they are saying not to see this guy anymore.

We all went through this... I know it doesn't help you but I hope it does let you know that your parents are not bad and the world isn't going to end.

Just be more careful next time.