I am 13 almost 14 and I am wondering how old before I can make the decision to live with one parent permantely and not have to see the other one at all. My parents have been split up since I was 2 or 3 and I have lived with my mom basically all of my life and she got full time custody of me when I was about 7 or 8. I do not want to live with my father which i only have to spend one weekday every other week and two weekends a month plus holidays according to the schedule. I am to the point in my life where I see what is right and what is not, and I do not want to live with or even see my father because of what he and my step-mom have done to all of my family even his own. Everytime I go over there I feel sad and can not wait to go home. What are the Alabama Child Right's law and how old do I have to be to make such a decision?
2007-01-10 17:30:56 · 5 answers · asked by icv93 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The age may be 12, but I am not totally sure. The real problem here is that since your father pays child support each month he feels he has "rights". Know what I mean? So, if you went to your father and told him your feeling very unsure about your feelings towards him and his wife, AND you would like to take a long vacation from that whole situation, and would he please understand-maybe than he wouldn't throw a fit, and let everything stay the same (child support) and leave you alone. Legally he still has to pay even if you don't want to go, but maybe he wouldn't be making a big hassle for everyone! I don't know, maybe he's be relieved? Just trying to give you some idea's. I just figure his feeling would be hurt enough to just say OK. Good luck!!
2007-01-10 18:12:23 · answer #1 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. What a tough decision to make! I'm sure it hasn't been easy, but it does sound like you've put a lot of thought into it and know what you want and why you think it would be best for you.
I'm not in Alabama, but some things are just sort of common throughout child-custody and family-law proceedings. First, I think you should talk to your Mom about it so she can help you out. Second, if you have anyone in your life who is an attorney in Alabama, that's probably a good resource. Finally... I know, in CA, we have (in each county's Civil Courts) someone called a Family Court Facilitator. this is a person who works for the Courts... and you don't have to have a lawyer to talk to them... they're there just to talk to you about family law problems. They'll be able to tell you exactly what the law is in Alabama.. and what your rights are.
I actually wrote a paper on this when I was in college... at that time, a child of your age could express a preference about which parent they wanted to live with... because you're definitely old enough to tell a judge why you think it would be best to live with your mom instead of your dad. BUT... that case wasn't about visitation.. just about custody. Last time I checked, parents had the right to visit with their children... I'm not sure there's any way around that one.
Of course... maybe you'll be able to talk to your Dad and ease up a little on the back-and-forth visiting thing? Maybe skip weekends when you have school things happening? All you can do is try on that one...
Good Luck!
2007-01-11 02:08:32 · answer #2 · answered by Amy S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what Alabama laws specifically state but you don't have the right to stop visitation because of your age. When you reach the legal age of consent you may then stop seeing your father (probably 18) You do have the right to have your say, probably through someone who can be appointed to let the judge know what your wishes are. You have to start by going back to court.* you don't want this to be twisted around and your father blaming your mom so go through the courts the right way.
2007-01-11 01:38:18 · answer #3 · answered by uknowme 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to tell your dad how you feel, even if you have to write it in a letter if you can't tell him face to face. Make it clear that it is you making this decision & not your mom. You need to find out about child support issues. Is your mom getting child support? Is she willing to lose it if you no longer see your dad? You should really talk to your mom also & let her help you find a way to not have to be around your dad.
2007-01-11 01:43:52 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first tell your mom and then talk to your dad ..just be honest and tell him you dont want to be there anymore
2007-01-11 01:37:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋