1 child or more????

Question

My daughter just turned one & recently I have been feeling a lot of pressure to have another. I'm an only child & my husband has seven siblings. I see the pros & cons of both situations, but I would like some feedback from you out there (+ & -). If you think I should have another child how many years apart should my children be? I also must add that I have vowed to not have children after the age of 25. Should I get busy or be content w/ my little angel?

Answer 1

Well if you want more kids I would say go for it. I would just look at your finances and whether or not you can afford more.

Its recommended that you should wait 2 yrs in between pregnancies.

What is it that YOU and your husband want? Can you afford more, do you want more? Talk about it.

Answer 2

There is no magic age and no magic number of years between children. Some will swear 2 or 3 maybe even 4 yrs is best between children. Personally I have 2 kids, one is 13yrs old the other is 7 months old. And I wouldnt have it any other way. I had my daughter when I was 22 and I was able to enjoy her for all those years as an only child and focus on her and her needs. My son was a total shock to us all but also pure joy he is 7 months old. To see how my 13yr old interacts with him is amazing there is no jealousy issues, there will be no fights over toys or "sharing". I know its not everyones choice to have their kids 13 yrs 2 months and 15 days apart but it has worked for me and I wouldnt go back and change a single thing. Do it when you are ready not when you feel pressure to do so.

Answer 3

Well, the pros of having only one child is that you can give 100% of your attention to that child. I have talked to several friends who are the only child. Most of them have told me that in some ways they like it (they don't have to compete with siblings) and in some ways they wished they had a sibling to be close to. Personally, I am the baby of the family. There is 7 and 10 years difference b/t me and my older brothers, so in a way, I felt like an only child. It was pretty lonely. I have 3 kids. They are very close. Esp. the 2 youngest ones. They are 3 and almost 5. They are so close. I say it's your decision. There is no set number of children that anyone should have or no set age differences that will make things better. Evaluate your situation and go from there. I can't see why anyone would make a vow to themselves not to have children past the age of 25. But oh well, whatever makes you happy!!!

Answer 4

If you see yourself able to take care of both, go ahead.
We want our children close together so our daughter was 21 months when we had our second baby and the first few days were a little hard because you are trying to breastfeed and your toddler wants to play, but after a couple of weeks we established our routine and it's great now, she loves helping and playing with him and he absolutely loves her.
As a Mom you will be busy all the time no matter how old or how far apart they are, yes it keep you more busy when they are tiny but they entertain each other a lot once they are a little older. Talk to your husband and decide together.

Answer 5

You do need to talk to your husband. My husband and I both decided to have at least two. So, when my oldest was one we started to try & have another. It took us four months. Our daughters are 26 months apart, and it's great. They play well together, my oldest was a tremendous help when she was born, they are the best of friends. (Just wait until they are teenagers-not looking forward to that) I liked having them close because I was in such a routine. Now I am going to be watching my cousin's baby and I can't wait. But it will be hard because I've been out of the diaper changing routine for a while now. But it should be your decision as a couple what you want to do. I was an only child until I was 10. It was great, but it was also lonely. My sister can be a real pain sometimes, but I love her with all my heart.

Answer 6

Only you and your husband should be the ones to decide if you should have more children. You will be the ones who will be taking care of the children. Don't let anyone pressure you into having more children if that's not what you want. They won't be taking care of them you will.

Answer 7

Two years apart is a good age, that is how far apart mine are.. that way they can have a tad bit more incommon age wize such as toys and play. It was the same with my brother and myself, we are two years apart and we had lots of fun playing together when we were kids. However, my when my sister came along eight years younger than me, she was fun when she was a baby but we never got along after she was about four, or were close until we got older.

Answer 8

If you are feeling pressured it sounds like you do not know if you want more. This question can only be answered by you and your significant other. You both need to talk about it and resolve this. I always said that I wanted only one and now 10 years down the road I have started to change my mind. Unfortunately though, we are not successfull, I fear we waited to long. Do not let this happen to you. Communication is the best way to resolve this.

Answer 9

Ben Franklin once said that there are 3 things that never happen at a convenient time....1-Dying 2-Paying taxes 3-Having kids---Having kids is never easy. Having both kids in diapers is really difficult. In fact its 3 times the work with 2 but.........youll get twice as much love back.

Answer 10

I am an only child and don't think there is anything wrong with that. I don't feel as if I missed out on anything, my husband has 2 brothers and 1 sister and hardly ever talks to them so the way I look at it he is pretty much an only child. We are 31 weeks pregnant with our first son and I am seriously considering that he will be the only child that way we can give him a better life and afford his college.