why do i do this to myself?

Question

after being rejected by someone, i lost all my self worth, like i feel no man would like me, when im am friends with someone i just really think of him as a friend and that it must not go somewhere else, when i have a crush , or i like someone i just beleive that he is not the one for me and that he deserves better, and that i will not be loved.
and i am even pissed if someone would confess that he likes me,i no longer want attraction, i get hurt easily , so i refuse to be in a relationship, i can no longer trust men ,or any man to take care of my heart, i feel like if i trusted another man again, it would break my sould and would really crush my soul
im just 19 , but because of this, i dont even attempt to make myself gorgeous, im not ugly or what, i used to join pageants and win them, but now i dont feel like impressing any man with the way i look, if that guy doesnt like what he sees, and cannot relate to me and my life i dont give him any chance at all.what should i do,

Answer 1

Sorry to hear that. You say that you lost your self worth after someone rejected you. That must have been a hard pill for a former beauty queen to swallow.

You fear rejection so much that you insulate yourself from harm with bitterness, anger, & by putting out an unappealing image.
It sounds to me like you aren't going to give any man a chance to ever harm you again by just keeping them all at arms length.

Is that really the way you want to live the rest of your life?
You are only 19. In the best of circumstances, you are liable to face rejection from a few more men in your life.
So what you are doing is MAKING IT HAPPEN, so you can control when it does. The last time you were hurt, you didn't see it comming did you? It was a total suprise, & shock to your system. It was such a blow that you decided to take charge, & control any future rejections by just making it happen, since you have resigned yourself to the idea that it's going to happen anyway.
So now by taking charge, you make it happen EVERYTIME, instead of once in a while. Am I right? If I am right, then how is that working for you?

So if I am right, then you now know "Why" you do this to yourself.
So Honey, STOP IT!
You survived the 1st 19 years of your life, with only one seriously hurtfull rejection. So now you can survive another 19 years or more, & you will be better prepared if the same thing happens again.
Don't judge the entire rest of the world on the behaviour of one or two individuals.
You know how to make yourself attractive, so go out & keep attracting men until you find one that is a perfect fit for your emotional needs.
No one can have the power to crush your soul unless you give that power to them.
So take your power back please. We men can always use another gorgeous girl in this world.
So go ahead, be gorgeous!

Answer 2

You should forget about men for a while. You're 19, you have so much time to find a caring, loving guy who respects you for who you are. Go do some fun stuff, don't date for a while, don't even think about it. After a while, you'll notice a guy chasing you. Be a friend, and as hard as this is, do not allow your relationship with him to go any further than friends. You will know that he's worth dating if he keeps going after you no matter what.
I'd go at least a couple weeks without dating anybody.

Answer 3

You have put way too much pressure on yourself. You really should get some counseling. Somewhere along the way you have learned to put all your self-worth in the opinions of others. You must learn to love yourself and who you are. You can't live up to the high expectations you have put on yourself. I would suspect you learned this early by being in pageants and such. The person who you can truly give your heart to will be the one who loves you for who you are and not how many contests you've won or what you look like. I hate to see someone miss out on something as wonderful as love because they are afraid of getting hurt. I can tell you that once you really find it.... it will be worth it. Please get some professional help. God Bless.

Answer 4

Well you do not look to have low esteem. I believe one challenge is that either one of you've gotten the equal social protection quantity. When you dossier with a repute: Married, submitting collectively, so that it will be purple flagged by means of the feds for definite. And a pre-nup could also be wanted provided that one in every of you has already had a small fortune or some thing earlier than the wedding; or else by means of legislation what you've gotten earned or bought even as you are married is 50-50 in any case. Other social disorders might come up reminiscent of peers calling either one of you by means of the equal title, and so forth. And what if one in every of you get jealous of the opposite? Maybe you 2 will have to simply are living in combination for awhile and notice the way it works out. Good Luck

Answer 5

Know exactly where you are coming from. I think that if you stop looking, the right one eventually finds you.

And you shouldn't have to make yourself gorgeous to impress men. The one that falls for you at your worst is the one that will take care of you because he see's what no one else will bother to look for.

Stop thinking about guys, you don't need one to complete your life. Just be happy being you, and discovering who you are. You are only 19, plenty of time for love later, focus on your hopes and dreams and where you want to go in life

Answer 6

You sound like you have low self esteem you need to learn to love yourself before anyone else can love you. At 19 you really need to focus more on goals than finding the right man. When you least expect it the right person will come into your life and all these questions will disappear.Just be sure YOU are emotionally ready.

Answer 7

You've given up, and are in the dumps. This is standard for 6-8 months following a relationship. I had the same situation a year ago. I felt completely worthless for the longest time, then I just snapped out of it and regained my confidence.
I would suggest confiding in a close friend, and having them help you out with moral and self esteem support. IT worked for me. My friends helped me get over my relationship, and out of my slump. They took me out, kept me involved, kept talking to me about it, and helped me find a hobby to take my mind off of the bad times. Eventually I overcame it. After a while, your spirits will lift, and you'll be yourself again.
Never let a man get you down like that, we're not worth it.

Answer 8

i dont understand y u would let 1 rejection affect u so much. he was obviously not 4 u. u will find some1 who is 4 u. i was rejected really abd once. i told a guy i like him and he told me that he hated me and told me all of my faults. it really hurt. i was really upset 4 a long time but then i realized y should i truly care. sumday ill find sum1 who really is rite 4 em and who would never do sumthin liek that. dont be like that. keep ur mind away from guys 4 a while. find a few hobbies, chill with friends. just enjoy ur life and look at all teh good things. the pain will go away. and soon ull find sum1 whos perfect 4 u.

Answer 9

you need to get out of yourself and just leave it alone for awhile. If someone who is mature is interested in you they will be cool about it and give you plenty of space to think about it and maybe be interested or not. You place too much weight on past experiences just continue to be yourself in ALL situations and let things do their own thing eventually you will get the bug again and then things will be different right now don't beat yourself up by worrying about it its happens to lots of people all the time and they grow out of it. learning to trust again takes time and patience my current girlfriend was just very badly hurt by her soon to be wasband it will take her at least a year to get that back under control in that year my job is to be understanding, steady, attentive, and out of the way when she needs her space and I have to pay strict attention to her moods so I can help without having to ask idiot questions. stay cool it will come around again.

Answer 10

Don't think like that. Think that maybe only few guys are worthy of your time. Don't be afraid of a relationship. And even if you don't want to enter at least on relationship with a good guy. Talk to them as if they are ur friend and maybe you will like them even more. And forget about that fear and focus on the energy he is putting into being with you. Good Luck