Has anyone ever experienced strange behavior from a person suffering from depression?

Question

My fiance'sleeps all day. Her mood swings are becoming unbearable. I do love her however and have been supportive to her while we battle her depression together.

She even went on a business trip and cheated on me while I was at home taking care of her daughter. I have forgiven her but I'm having trouble accepting what she did was an episode of depression. Has this happened to anyone else???

Answer 1

Yes. The same thing happened to me with my ex husband. He suffers from depression, and during a particularly bad time (about a year) when he was off his meds, he had an affair and left. Within six months the courts approved our divorce.

Like you, I chalked his affair up to depression, people with depression often make not so stellar choices. My ex husband had been the Best Boyfriend Ever, but a few years into our marriage he started to suffer from depression, and he was a changed man. It was awful.

It's commendable that you have been trying to help your fiancee with this, but do you really want to marry someone who has cheated on you? I have also forgiven my ex, but there's no way I'd ever take him back.

Trust is the cornerstone of a marriage, and if she treated on you once, she can do it again.

I know how hard it is to feel responsible for a person suffering depression (at one point I had actually believed if I had left him, he'd kill himself, as he had been suicidal), but you can't put your life on hold. If she was your wife, I'd advise differently. But you haven't married her yet, and you are not beholden to take care of her.

You have your own life to live, and deserve someone who won't cheat on you.

Answer 2

She may not strictly have depression, but what is called Bipolar Disorder, or "manic-depression." In Bipolar, the patient will, over a period of weeks to months or years, cycle dramatically from moderate to severe depression to a so called "Manic" state.

"Mania" is typified, for example, by feelings of unusual happiness, euphoria, or activity; less of a need for sleep, and/or a belief that one can accomplish anything. Those with bipolar may have trouble with impulsive behavior, and "emotional reasoning," making judgments based purely on how they feel at the time and not on actual facts. This makes treatment difficult sometimes, as they may decide they no longer need medication, or to suddenly discontinue counseling. You may want to do some reading into Bipolar and Depression in general. Just don't go into the doctor's office believing you already know what the problem is.

That said, what you are describing doesn't sound all that unusual. Depression type illnesses are very common and better understood than they used to be. Fortunately there is much to be done in today's world. A doctor can help with the hundreds of medication and treatment options.

Additionally; what other commentors have said is true. All relationships are based on trust. You cannot blame somone's poor behavior purely on mental illness, at least if they were aware of their actions. She may be more likey to be unfaithful in the future if she somehow feels that this is tolerable behavior, or that it is negotiable. How you choose to handle this is up to you, but remember there is a difference between forgiving somone, and ENABLING them.

Answer 3

Over the last five years I had begun to have increasingly withdraw into a downward spiral of depression..

But now with the method I can fully focus my energy and thoughts into a decisive line on how to make my life better constantly. And it works like magic! I'm beginning to attract people to me once again and things have just been looking up since then.

Helping you eliminate depression?

Answer 4

People suffering from depression are on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, I know because I to deal with this issue myself. Cheating may be a form of low self esteem or problems in the relationship. She may have a hard time commiting if she can't trust and is in fear of rejection all the time. I know us woman can be very confusing and depression on top of it, wow. We want to be loved so badly that we actually push a man away when we fall in love to quickly and then when you feel close she pushes you away. It is only fear and the painful memories of the past that cause us to push the one we love the most and that means the most to us away. I'm glad to hear you are patient, supportive and forgiving.

Answer 5

She is so lucky to have someone like you to help her through this. But she is probably feeling so low about herself, she could never realise just how good you've been.

Depression is an awful awful thing, and it can be maddening and heart-breaking to watch someone you love go through that, especially when you don't know what she'll do next or how long it will take her to pull out of it.

I don't know what sort of advice to give you, but I do know that she should be going through counselling and probably taking medication to help her out. I've head some good things about Welbutrin having few side effects, but she would have to discuss options with her doctor.

I hope that you are doing okay through this and have support for yourself. I'm sure that her cheating on you was part of her depression, but it doesn't change the fact that she cheated, and you will both have to work that out as best as you can one of these days.

I'm sending out positive thoughts for you both.

.

Answer 6

the cheating thing im not sure about i have delt with my mother since i was a child she has a very bad case of depression i dont recall ever hearing that cheating was something to do with depression....and lemme tell you this from experience....do not be controlled by this....if u forgive her for everything because she is "sick" ull be picking up the pieces of her life forever...u need to be proactive in her care what meds is she on.......is she seeing a therapist...and see if u can go a few times with her to get a better understanding of her illness........i really feel for you...my mother is bi polar as well and an acoholic on top of that...so i have benn traped in my own lil hell since i was very young...always tiptoeing around things....but be careful lavish spending is a big part of depression buying things not needed or applying for multiple credit cards and racking up massive debt..be carefull......but to really be honest i dont think the cheating was because she has depression!

Answer 7

Try to be there for her & it probably was/is depression. There's many other possiblilites out there could have been ailing her at the time. Has she sought help from a mental health specialist or talked to your family doctor about it? When people are depressed or have other problems they really are not themselves. In their hearts they probably do mean well & they're probably beating themselves up on the inside about the way they've been. Try to forgive her & if she has episodes in the future please try to get some professional help for her, depression is difficult to live w/ & deal w/ for everyone involved.--Try to forgive her for her depressive episodes. The cheating is ultimately up to you if you want to forgive her. If you do decide to forgive her, find it in your heart to do just that..forgive. If you throw it back up in her face later on, you truely did not forgive her. Please remember to take care of yourself also through this hard time.

Answer 8

Ahh, hello! Depression is one thing - cheating on people you supposedly love is quite something else.

You sound like a nice and caring person - she is taking you for a roll of golf balls. You are home watching HER child and she is out running around!

Depression does NOT cause this kind of behavior. You are being taken for a chump. Her "depression" at least the part that she is showing you, if it is real is probably caused because she doesn't really love you and feels caught up in this relationship.

Be good to yourself - cut her lose and find someone who deserves a good person like you. Stop falling for her lies.

Answer 9

It says like she is bipolar. She needs treatment, medication. She will not get better without it. She will continue to have mood swings with highs and lows. Where she sleeps alot and then has lots of energy and has risky behavior. Get her to a doctor. During her highs she can do dangerous things. She needs help. It won't get better. It WILL get worse! If you love her get her treatment and make her stay with it.

Answer 10

People who are depressed do show strange behavior so it could be that. I'm not saying who but it has happend to someone before. It could just be her hormones too.