She frequently has "accidents".... seems to not have time to go. Is it okay for parents to reveal their aggravation when the child has "accidents" when she has declined reminders to go potty?
2007-01-10 15:21:17 · 13 answers · asked by options 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
We had some struggles with our son as well.
At first, we thought things were going well. He understood what we wanted him to do and, when prompted to, would often use the potty successfully.
But then, it all seemed to fall apart on us, somewhere around 3.5 years old. He would have "accidents" and not care. He would walk around with wet pants or even a "deposit" in his underwear and not even tell us about it.
Eventually, we identified two problems:
1. We were originally prompting him so often that we weren't sure he actually knew what it felt like immediately before he needed to go.
2. By showing our frustration with him with his "accidents" (even after prompting), we seemed to be making everything worse.
So, we took a completely different approach. We stopped prompting except where necessary (i.e., we were about to go out shopping with him and didn't want an accident in the car). Otherwise, we decided we had to make it his responsibility to decide when he needed to go and to either ask or go himself.
We also decided to treat accidents very "matter of factly". We didn't say "awww, too bad" and we didn't get angry. We just took him immediately to the bathroom and got him to do all the work of undressing, cleaning himself up and redressing himself. We didn't make a big deal of it either way.
Finally, we also implemented "matter of fact" type consequences. If he was watching TV when he had an accident, the TV is turned off. If he was playing with a particular set of toys, those toys were put away. We didn't try to rationalize this with him, we just said that "this is what happens when you have accidents".
At some point in all this, it all seemed to "click" for him. We are quite some time without accidents.
I hope this experience of ours is helpful to you, and perhaps offers you some thoughts or suggestions. At the end of the day, we found getting aggravated with our child made everything worse and set us back. We had to hide it no matter how frustrated we were inside.
Good luck!
2007-01-10 15:40:05 · answer #1 · answered by Iago 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a three year old that was so hard to potty train. You would think she got it, then all hell would break lose. I know it's really hard, but yelling at them will not get you anywhere. They are humiliated to begin with and to think you're not proud of them anymore is worse. Just say "that's ok, why don't we sit on the potty a minute while we clean up". I always carried around a extra set of clothes and shoes(where does the pee go when they're standing up--in the shoes) She has FINALLY got it, but once in a great while she'll surprise me. Praise her for a job well done, stay silent for accidents. Good luck!
2007-01-10 16:43:27 · answer #2 · answered by Melissa R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a time potty training my oldest daughter. I think the "pull up" type things are not a good ideal. I think they do not know the difference between that and diapers. I took my daughter to the store and let her pick out her own "big girl" underwear. I then told her she did not want to use the bathroom on "Dora" (that is what she picked out.)
I also made her to the bathroom about once and hour. She did not have many accident because she did not like the feeling of the wetness on her.
I also got her up once a night to go. She got the hang of it after the first week. Limit the water intake at night.
Good luck.
2007-01-10 15:54:44 · answer #3 · answered by stepjhudd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Throw away the pull-ups, placed him in massive boy lingerie and stick it out. He's without doubt ancient sufficient and is aware what is up. Don't punish or make a massive deal approximately it, however permit him have injuries in his pants and manage it. Tell him diapers do not are available in his dimension due to the fact he is a massive boy now. Hopefully the feeling, odor and mess of getting 'injuries' will accelerate this system. They have the ones thick coaching underpants so one can support, however at this factor I consider you might have simply acquired to get it performed. Try it on a weekend or anything when you've got the time to dedicate to a potty coaching marathon. If it is a complete crisis and he does not make development then you definately might take a holiday and check out once more however I relatively consider it's time for him. My son used to run and conceal with #two as good and as soon as I permit him have the twist of fate in his pants he swiftly made up our minds he was once in a position. You're making it to handy for him to prevent potty coaching via delivering him with the pull-ups. If you are taking them away you'll be able to most of the time observe he makes a few development.
2016-09-03 20:15:57 · answer #4 · answered by pax 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
absolutely.
oh suzie, naughtie, i asked you if you had to go potty and you said no. shame on you. lolook how nasty that is. don't you want to be pretty and dry? you do? ok lets go potty.
it's not that she doesn't seem to have time. you have to make sure she takes the time. this is an important matter if she is going to be around other children. they may not overlook that she is making potty in her pants and make fun of her.
most day care, pre school and baby sitters will refuse to care for kids that are not potty trained.
i hope the accidents are #1 and not #2. if #2 is the case you will have to be a little firmer. unless she is having a medical problem there is no reason she shouldn't be going by her self at that age.
2007-01-10 15:38:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah probably should have started earlier, but hindsite is a wonderful thing.
Don't be angry at accidents, it only makes the situation worse, stresses the kid out etc
Reward your child instead. Heaps of praise, jelly beans etc
Read books to her about going to the potty, I know there is an Elmo Potty book and it has a toy elmo with it.
Make it fun, not scary.
2007-01-10 15:33:21 · answer #6 · answered by morphed 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I recently toilet trained my little boy and it is tough, you feel like ripping your hair out but they are only kids. Its annoying when they have accidents try not to go cross she will get there eventually. "Accidents Happen"
My day care mum suggested to me toilet timing, keep an eye on her and say every 4 hours take her to the potty/toilet ask her to sit on it while you read a book or play with a doll or a car , When she wakes up from a nap sit her on the potty/toilet and before you go out sit her on the potty and even before/after you go to the toilet sit her on the potty and keep asking her if she needs to go to the toilet.
Was she a premmie? my sister told me that a couple of mothers from her premmie mothers group are still training their kids at 5 ( most of them were born before 30 weeks though)
If you are really worried about it contact your GP.
GOOD LUCK
2007-01-10 16:01:15 · answer #7 · answered by xaid n tahli 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes as long as it's not outright yelling at them. I would start making punishments, every time I tell or remind you to go potty and you don't, you won't watch t.v., or play with your fav. toy. Something like that. Tell her you get frustrated when she does that and she needs to be a big girl and go potty like one. You may also want to consider taking her to a doctor to make sure it's just laziness and not an actual medical problem. Or if all else fails buy some pull-ups and let her know she will not wear big girl underwear until she can potty like a big girl.
2007-01-10 15:35:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know it is hard...very hard...not to, but dont let your emotions get the better of you. My daughter is 6. She was still having regular accidents at age 5. She still has one now and again...especially if she is stressed or something. It is the only thing they can control right now. That is why she is having accidents. Just ignore it as best you can. Have her help do the laundry that she creates. I finally had my daughter start taking care of it herself...clean it up, change your clothes, put them in the wash. Be patient...I know how hard it is. Good Luck
2007-01-10 15:32:21 · answer #9 · answered by outofmymind 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aggravation will jjust upset her more an set her back. Give her a month off and try again. Make her responsible for her own accidents. Ie: undress put clothes in the wash and re-dress herself. Don't get angry put it on her. She will eventually get fed up with having to change herself, she will not be recieving any attention for her wetting and will soon start being dry
2007-01-10 22:16:55 · answer #10 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋