If you were I and I were you.?

Question

If you were I and I was you,
What would you do?

U wouldn't live,
But you wouldn't die.

You would suffer,
Suffer so silently.

You wouldn't love,
Only hatered would fill you.

You would die inside,
Your heart would be black,
Your soul so misled.

You would fight,
You would cry.

And you would never see me the same way ever again.

Answer 1

well it's tragic. it's free verse and it's rather derivitive.
now then you might consider branching out a bit into other forms of free verse.

below is a gramatically corrected version:

If you were me and I were you,
What [ever] would you do?

You wouldn't live,
you wouldn't die.

You would suffer,
Suffer so silently;
[line here]

You wouldn't love,
Only hatered would fill you.

You would die inside,
Your heart would be black,
Your soul so misled. (akward, reconsider)

You would fight,
You would cry.

And you would never see me the same way ever again.

well I hope you've managed to prove your point with this poem. it's rather nice.
have you considered trying to tell a story with such a verse?

Answer 2

Thats very nice. Mean man is gone.

Answer 3

If I were you I wouldnt write about crap that makes people be depressed and say "whhaaaaaat?"