How do you raise a son?

Question

I would like to raise a son that was very respectful and polite and did very well in school and was involved with many positive activities and was a model student who never got in trouble. But then again I know in the real world its the jerky fratboy bad boy who gets all the friends, get the hottest girls, get leadership job positions because of connections and influence, attends the best parties and overall has the better life. So what should I do? I mean lets be honest which father is the proudest - the one with the straight A student who got beat up at school or the one getting a call from the principle about their kid bullying another kid

Answer 1

Hi h nitrogen,
My son is 23. I raised him, for the most part, by myself. It was pretty tough for me to set an example as to what kind of man he should become when I'm a woman! But I don't think I did too bad.
As far as which father is the proudest (the one with the A student or the one going to the principle's office), these weren't the priority for me. Don't get me wrong; I strongly instilled in all of my children that there is nothing that can ever replace a good, strong education. But if they had absolutely tried their best, really put forth their best effort, and came home with a C, I was PROUD!
What I felt was most important to instill in my son was a high level of personal integrity, honor and loyalty. Because these qualities are rare these days, I knew if my son possessed them, it would not only make him a unique individual, but he'd feel good about himself. I wanted my son to grow into a man who could look at himself in the mirror each night before bed, and say, "I did good today. I maintained my honor and integrity in every situation...I can stand proud."
Today, my son serves in the U.S. Army. He's made mistakes, as all humans do, and hopefully learned from them. He has a good heart and is a good man.
Your son will learn the most by watching you. It's not what you say, it's what you do. He'll watch when you think he's not. He'll soak up the little things that you don't even realize you're doing, or you're doing out of habit. Even the simple things, like saying "please" and "thank you." He'll listen to your tone and your words. Remember, little boys want to grow up to be just like daddy. This is the most endearing compliment a father can receive. Teach him well.

Answer 2

You gotta find the happy medium. The B student who's smart and capible enough to not get in fights and still be pretty popular.
The guy who's popular in high school and tries to continue that into college's grades will suffer as a result. The still-farily-popular B level high-school student will be more likely to become an A student in college if he avoids some of that popularity scene, and concentrates on the future that is rapidly creeping up on him at that point. All that playing when you are 18 can really make you regret it when you are 38. Better safe than sorry.

Answer 3

My mom raised us in an excessively exclusive approach, constantly giving us matters and educating us the significance of loved ones and difficult paintings and she or he didn't do a lot to push independence. However, my older brother grew to become out similar to you're describing your son. He went from NY wherein we are living to AZ for tuition, acquired married with out finnancial help and he lives along with his spouse and does not name or examine in a lot in any respect. I believe it can be extra approximately the character and not more approximately the best way you raised him. Just having a dad is so most important that I'm certain it helped and did not harm that you simply influenced independence. He'll begin to speak as he will get older, I'm certain.

Answer 4

I have been a single mother for 8 years. Up until this year I though that I was raising my son to the best of my ability until I met my husband. He is showing him how to be a good man by example. I dont spank him when he is wrong, the world has a heavy enough hand. I'm pacient and understanding and even though he is only 3, I talk to him as respectfully as other adults. Dont allow him to do anything no you don't want him to do later. The rest....leave up to God.

Answer 5

If kids came with a manuel on how to raise them we would all be perfect! Of course a parent would be prouder of the child who gets A's but of course we don't want them beaten up either. Smart kids can be popular etc... They just have a whole different group they hang with. Relax and just be there for him no matter what may lie ahead-he needs you!

Answer 6

Each kid is different if you pressure a kid that hates studying not only will he hate you but he will wind up the oppossite of what you raised him to be. You don't decide what your child will be but whatver he chooses you should help him out with if he wants to be a party animal you shouldn't let him drink but..

Answer 7

I think there are more types than they two you portraied. I do not fit into those catagories and life is a lot more complex than that. Good education and the ability to read and comprehend and understand numbers and computers is important as well as social skills and athletics. Being well rounded is good.

Answer 8

You can learn your child to be polite and still not be the bully in school. Learn him how to take care of his self, like karate, or something like this. I would be very proud of my child if they were polite but could also take care of themselves.

Answer 9

do what my dad did... neglect me... hit me... and ****** never associate with me... be a good dad, just show your son you love him.