Well you see me and my boyfriend live at my dads. We used to live at his moms but we all got in a fight. You see she always wants us to stay with her younger children while she stays in another town with a man who doesn't like her children. IT would n be so bad, but if I don't keep the house exactly the way she likes it its a night mare when she comes home which is only a few days every month. I do my best but its never goon enough. She always puts me down to the ground and well we came here. She wants us to go back again and I am refusing and my boyfriend wants to because he doesnt want her to just leave them they are 15 and 13 by the way and she wants to leave them with an aunt. My bf says he wants them at home because its good for them and I understand brotherly love but when are we gonna start our life together or is he just gonna live at his moms forever. Hes twenty one and has no job and hasnt been looking for one either. Am I being selfish or should I just walk away.
2007-01-10 14:56:24 · 10 answers · asked by rladouceur17 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I never back talk my mother in law even when she threatens violence on me.
2007-01-11 06:25:58 · update #1
He would never stick up for me.
2007-01-11 06:26:25 · update #2
He is doing what is natural in his situation. He sees that his place is as a substitute father figure being the oldest. He finds a sense of identity and perhaps pride from taking care of them. What he may fail to see is that by not working or going to school he is setting a bad example which may perpetuate a cycle that will be repeated by his siblings later in life. If you want more in your life and he is not willing to move forward at this time then you need to break it off for both your sakes.
2007-01-10 15:05:02 · answer #1 · answered by "Ask Dr. Stupid" 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He;s 21 he needs to start looking for a way to build a future with you by finding a job and getting an apartment with you, His younger siblings are his mother's problem. He's over 18 he shouldn't feel an obligation towards raising his younger siblings. His mother needs to do it, it seems she's lacking in her parental skills. If he loves he'll be with you.WHy is this woman complaining about the way you keep her house? Shouldn't she be grateful that you're doing some thing to help her. This whole things sounds so dysfunctional that it should be on a Jerry Springer episode. Leave this guy you can do a lot better. Don't walk, RUN!!
2007-01-10 23:05:15 · answer #2 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just one thing to remember, when we get married to someone, we're marrying into the family as well. So imagine that it is your own family and decide what you need to do. Also don't put pressure on your man to choose. The consequence of that come way later. If you do so, there'll be a little bitterness in his heart that could later become a disaster.
If she scolds you, just say that you did your best and that she is entitled to her own opinion.
Relationships are about giving. The problem in the world today is that we go into a relationship expecting to receive. We forget that that other party too is an IMPERFECT human being.....and are bound to make a mistake atone point or the other.
I'd advise you to stand by your guy on this one. Show him your support and your relationship will be strengthened and will grow. Never focus on the short term. Think long term and you will do great.
2007-01-10 23:13:01 · answer #3 · answered by Nats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not if you really love him and wanna make it work...first of all tell his mother that you try the best you can while shes away and tell her the only way that you will come back is if that if she doesnt quit putting you down. and u could point out to your bf that he could stand up for you once in a while. in the long run , if you really love him, u will understand how he wants to take care of his siblings and not just with some other faimly member.
2007-01-10 23:00:54 · answer #4 · answered by manatee_love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want the relationship to last long ask him nicely to get a job and then you guys can save up for your own place. Talk about how you feel with your bf and see what happens:)
2007-01-10 23:01:19 · answer #5 · answered by f00tball77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not being selfish. He needs to get a job and you need to get one as well and find your own place. Make a life for yourself and don't let anyone drag you down.
2007-01-10 23:05:24 · answer #6 · answered by tx_earthangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say leave. it's so hard to have a great relationship forever with somebody. why choose somebody who's already got a heap of drama that you're going to have to deal with the entire time you're with him.
may sound kinda impersonal and unmerciful, but if you really look at it... it's true
2007-01-10 23:02:04 · answer #7 · answered by collinchristine_edwards 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
50 50.you're kinda being selfish with him trying to care for his brothers and all,but i guess you need to meet ur needs too.have you talked to him about it? give him an altumatum:either he looks for a job,or you leave.hope that helps...
2007-01-10 23:02:57 · answer #8 · answered by Savannah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should talk to him abou this and if he doesnt show any change then leave him....
2007-01-10 23:02:31 · answer #9 · answered by Candi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
http://msnwomen.lhj.com/lhj/quiz.jhtml?quizId=/templatedata/lhj/quiz/data/ShouldYouLeaveHimQuiz_12012003.xml
2007-01-10 23:02:38 · answer #10 · answered by Mark B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋