i am a bad person... will i ever be happy?

Question

please help me, i am so sad and depressed. for a year i snuck around behind my parents back with a guy, who is way older and i lied a WHOLE bunch to my parents, snuck out at night, had sex. if i told them it would break their heart. but i cant live with myself. i want to erase everything i have done. what do i do? am i going to hate myself forever? i cant stop thinking about it and i think my life is ruined. what should i do?

Answer 1

Good people feel remorse when they have made the wrong choices. The remorse you feel is a sign that you are developing a sense of good judgment. You are maturing.
You have a second chance now! Your life is not ruined at all. You can take what you have learned and apply it to future decisions.
I cannot tell you whether to go to your folks with this or not. But be aware that if you do it will cause them pain. Maybe you will decide to spare them the pain, be more careful in the future, and count your blessings that you got out of it when you did. You may have to just be strong enough to deal with this on your own out of kindness to your folks. But chances are that if you did decide to tell them, they would not love you any less. And I am pretty sure they would not want you to feel this bad. They love you. And parents are quite resiliant. Parental love is permanent, strong and unstoppable. There is just nothing my children could do to make me stop loving them. And I know your parents are the same. If you do decide to tell them about this, maybe they will just take you in their arms and tell you everything will be ok.
Dear, we all make mistakes. All of us. The only thing you can do is learn from them and move on. Stop beating yourself up over this. You cannot change the past. You can only control the present and to some extent, the future. So, try to make those two things the best you can.
Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
Hugs to you...

Answer 2

Well there is no such thing as a bad person, but what it looks like is that you have made bad decisions. Not to worry people make mistakes and God forgives them only if they truly ask for forgiveness and mean it and not do the sin again.

My friend went through a similar situation and she needed guidance so we both decided together to explore different religions. We came upon Christianity and talked to Christians but we saw some errors in the Bible, then we went to Judaism and also saw some errors in the Torah. We read on Buddhism and just got plain confused and saw many errors, same as Hinduism. But last we came upon Islam and read the Koran. We saw some questions so we went to a mosque that was conveniently down the street from where we lived. I must admit that I was prejudice against Muslim people a little bit because of the media, but once I had all my questions answered I felt as though I was the happiest person and that I found the purest religion to follow. As well as my friend. So we both thought about it really hard and for a long time and now we have decided to convert. And we couldnt be happier.

Christianity and Judaism are also the word of the one God, but they have been changed by man. So this is my advice to just put everything aside about anything you have ever heard about Islam on the TV or newspaper or anything. Find a good mosque and just ask to speak to the Imam, like the priest of the church except different, and ask anything you want to and you will get pure answers.

In Islam all sins but 1 are forgivable, just ask for forgiveness. The only sin that God cannot forgive is associating partners with the One and only God. But it is in his knowledge whether he forgives you or not. But an Imam can explain much better than i can.

Answer 3

You are not a bad person, I agree with most of what was said. I think you should probably confess, as a few minutes of pain are not worth years of guilt and uncertainty. Your parents are probably more understanding that you think, and even if they dont forgive you completely at first, then that is their problem.

You cant erase what you have done in the past, but you can either let it continue to hurt you, or learn from it and let it help you instead. Your life is NOT RUINED, and you probably have a whole lot more going for you than you think. As long as you have these six things, health, safety, food, shelter, love/friendship, and something productive to do, you are luckier than many of the people who are alive today.

Don't give up, have courage, and try do what you believe to be best, whatever that is.

Answer 4

Your life is not ruined.

You have the power to forgive yourself and to ask forgiveness from your higher power [I would say GOD].... unfortunately this is easier said than done.

Do you have a trusted adult [teacher, preacher etc] who you could talk to? Sometimes just sharing such a thing can help. Unfortunately there are many people that struggle with forgiving them selves for actions they took as a youth. That is a time we all tend to make mistakes [everyone just does not admit it].

My suggestion is to try to focus on the fact that you made a mistake, but are going to learn from it and not take the same actions again. You will find as time passes that there are many things that you just don't need to tell or burden your parents with. ...

If you continue to feel depressed etc.. you may wish to eventually tell your parents... at least how you are feeling even though you may not want to give them all the details of what happened.... The fact that you are reaching out is very positive, it tells me that you want to treat yourself better and feel better about your life

I wish you the best

Answer 5

Your life is not ruined. Everyone wants to explore when they're young. It's a natural thing. You shouldn't worry about it. Don't tell your parents if you know it'll break their heart. Sometimes, you can't go back and change what's already done, but you can sure move on! =) Don't worry. There'll come a day where all of this will be left behind! You learn from your mistakes.

Answer 6

look at it this way. everyone lies but the best thing you can do is confess, no matter how much it may hurt. obviously the reason you cant move on is cuz you're carrying all that guilt inside. so your parents may lecture you, and may be upset for a few days but at least they know you are making an honest effort to be upfront and change. you're still youg and life is gonna go on just look on the bright side and most importnatly dont make the same mistakes again. even if you dnot tell you rparents if you keep up with a good rep god will forgive you and soon you'll forgive yourself. good luck. dont be depressed :)

Answer 7

Sounds like you have a conscience. That's good.

Stop lying/sneaking around right away. Or better yet do that and be honest with your parents regarding the past. (if the latter part of that is too intimidating to do, then just do the first part).

Just because you did some bad things doesn't make you a bad person. It just means you made bad choices. You can change that immediately.

And yes, sneaking around, lying, then trying to cover up things will make you miserable.

Do good things, help people, etc. You'll find happiness.

Answer 8

Done that been there...you do get over it
You never erase what you have done but you need to do is to clean up your act. In the years later if you still feel bad what you did behind your parents back I would tell them. I never told mine and I think it would have hurt them more if I had told them. As long as you do not have any STD's or are pregnant then you should learn from this and go on with your life. Concentrate on your schooling and what YOU are in your life. You can and will live with yourself and will not hate yourself forever--feel sorry for the girl you were before for she did not know everything like she thought she did.
Let me tell you a secret--who you were yesterday you need to forgive for you are the different girl today--one who is older and wiser. You have to learn to forgive yourself for no one else really matter.
Go and be at peace with yourself--if you have someone who confide in who is older then talk to them. many times it is in the talking things over that we discover who we really are and what we are...

Answer 9

Your Not a bad person. You simply made some mistakes. Its time to just plain ask for forgiveness.. And move on in life. and forget it ever even happend. i know this is hard. i have a friend who is in the same mess.. Shes 17 and might be pregnant.. again.. yea. Dont think that your a bad person, ok? Its not like anyone else is any better than you, "whoever hasnt done something wrong accuse the other person" lol ok, so i like totally changed that one scrpture.. but w.e. lol.
-rosa

Answer 10

1.) You are not a bad person!

2.) Very few of us in here are qualified to answer your question seriously or professionally.

Every one of us has made mistakes in our lives, some serious, some not so serious. However, all of us have to accept our errors and move on. None of us are perfect! Not me, not you!

Accepting responsibility for our actions is part of growing up! Are you willing to accept who you are and what has brought you here? Doing so could make you stronger!

Explain this to your folks if you decide to do so. Either way, your life has only just begun. Only YOU can change who you are and who you will become.

Be at Peace with yourself!

Hope this helps!

The Ol' Sasquatch Ü