Something bad happened to my son today...how to handle?

Question

My twin sons are hockey players. They went to public skate today to practice (lessons are held during public skate too). My sweet, responsible son was practicing skating backwards. He wasn't going very fast, but he ran into an older lady who was standing still on the ice (facing the other direction). She fell and imidiately hit her head on the ice!!! My son was horrified. He stayed with her until some man threw him out of the way. I got authorities and they called the paramedics. Although the lady was laughing and drinking pop, they took her out on a stretcher. My son is so upset. What could be wrong with her? How should I handle this with my son? He truly feels terrible.

I have read, and will continue to read every response. You all are so wonderful. Thank you so much!

Answer 1

first thing I want to say is that I am on my mom's keyboard and if I miss spell sme thing or leave out a letter I am sorry...
ok, find out who she was and let him contact her.send some flowers or something. next it is very good that you son shows concern because I have seen a lot of kids that would have told the lady to get off the ice, or would be rude insome other way.

another thing. I think that the lessons for hocky should not be during public skate, talk to the teacher about this.

Answer 2

Explain to him that everyone knows it was just an accident. That accidents happen and especially on ice.

Tell him he is sweet to have been so concerned about her and people do notice little things like that.

Also point out that the man that threw him was rude and everyone noticed THAT too.

Throwing your son, while on the ice was a careless act on the man's part. Your son could have been injured as well.
If your son had been injured, THAT would have been the result of the man's careless act. Your son was not careless. It is difficult to always see everything behind you on ice, while skating backwards. Especially, when your son is just learning.

Your son did nothing wrong but that man did and THAT'S the difference.

Tell your sweet little boy not to worry any more.
He is a kind little gentleman with a caring heart and that you're SURE the woman noticed that. It would have been impossible for anyone there to have not noticed what a great boy he is.

Telling him this should make him feel better. You are SO lucky to have such a sweet adoring son.
We've got to cheer him up!

Good Luck.

Answer 3

It is such a terrible thing to happen to your son. I am sure he feels horrible about it. Sit down and talk with him about what happened and listen to what he has to say and how he feels about the situation. If he feels that he needs to do something to help the older lady to not only help her feel better but him as well, by any means let him. It may benefit him and the lady.

As for what could be wrong with her, who knows. I am sure the doctors are checking out everything to make sure there are no broken bones or a concussion. If she hit her head, she may have gotten a concussion to some degree but should be fine if that is all that has happened.

Maybe find out what hospital the lady is at, if she is still in, and maybe go visit her and bring some flowers to her. You both can go and wish her "get well" and tell her that you both feel terrible about what had happened and if there is anything that you can do to help her at all. Hopefully, since she was laughing and drinking soda before being taken away to the hospital, she realized that it was a total accident and doesn't expect anything but maybe an apology. I'm sure she woud really appreciate you both going to visit her and offering some kind of help even if she turns it down.

I hope this helps and good luck thru all of this.

Answer 4

the most important thing is for your son to realize it was an honest mistake. these kinds of things happen all the time (as we know), and the only way to not live with a guilty conscience is to truly understand that it was a mistake. the good thing is that the lady wasn't hurt, and that's a point to make too. he's going to feel bad about it for a little while; that's natural. just keep reinforcing the fact that it's ok that it happened, not his fault, etc etc.

you could also mention that during public skate, if you're going backwards, its a good idea to be looking back, since many people (like old ladies) don't know how to skate. this will help him provide a "solution" to what happened (by preventing it from happening again), and may also help him to make similar decisions in the future, before running into the old lady. :)

and hugs are great!

Answer 5

She is probably fine, the EMTs and paramedics would not allow her to drink if there was an obvious problem. She probably went at the request of the people at the rink, she could have refused but depending on her age it is better to get it checked out.

I feel terrible for your son (my son played hockey too) and I know most hockey players are good kids.. Next time, tell him to practice in the middle of the ice.

Explain to him that accidents happen and he did the right thing by staying with her. You may not be able to get information to see how she is, so have him write an apology to her, send it to the editor of the local newspaper and they will publish it. This way he will feel better and there is actually a chance that she may see it.

Answer 6

It is nice to hear that a child has a conscience and actually feels for another human instead of just himself.

I'm sure he apologized to the person at the time of the event. People fall on the ice all the time and live to tell about it. I'm sure the stretcher was a 'CYA' by the rink manager in this law suit happy society we live in (sad to say).
If he still wants to apologize to the lady and you do not know who she is perhaps he could write a notice or letter to the editor of your local newspaper saying something like: To the lady I had the unfortunate accident with at the *** skate place. I hope you are doing fine ...

Answer 7

I agree with whomever said be thankful he does feel bad, many kids would have laughed it off. I am so pleased for his responsible attitude, remind him that he stayed right by her until she got help. That's the first thing to do in first aid! Explain to him that the facility is probably required by insurance to call paramedics, regardless of the extent of injury. Ask him how he thinks she felt when she was leaving. If he couldn't tell (you don't say how old he is, but that's pretty late development) you could remind him that she was laughing, she was sitting up, she was able to do this and that.

Next, don't do anything FOR him, but help empower him by asking what he feels like he should do. If he says he doesn't know, then say to him, "Some people in this situation would do X, or Y, or maybe Z...how do those sound?" Let him choose what to do, and do your best to help him. There are some great suggestions on here, so I won't repeat.

Good luck, God bless

Answer 8

see if you can't find out where they took the lady and have your son make her a nice card of apology and blessings for full recovery.
Failing that, encourage your son by ensuring that he knows it was an accident, and the lady seemed to be fine when she went to the hospital. He needs to know that every time paramedics are called for a head injury, they will take the person on a stetcher just to be sure that everything is ok and the lady stays safe. She could get dizzy and fall, and they need to protect her no matter how minor the injury is.
If you believe in God, pray with your son, and have him pray too, that she will be fine.

Answer 9

If she was fine and okay, then let your son know that. If you want, and can, figure out who the woman was. Talk to her and tell her how your son feels about the ordeal. If she agrees, take your son to talk to her. If she doesn't, which i doubt she won't, then talk to your son. Sit him down and tell him that it was accident and accidents happen. Don't finish talking to him until you believe he truly understands it. Just let him know that he shouldn't blame himself. Either way I would have the conversation with him.

Some good does come from this accident. For a while your son might be overly cautiuos of doing things which is okay. It just means a little less worrying on your part on whether he gets into trouble or not.

I hope your son feels better about the situation.

Answer 10

Accidents happen! I've done sillier things with far greater consequences and managed to survive. I'm sure they just took her out on the stretcher to be on the safe side. She's probably not even injured at all, maybe except for a couple of bruises. Take this opportunity to teach your son (he sounds like a wonderful kid) about taking responsibility, even though it was a complete mistake. If you know her information, send her flowers and a note or something like that. I deal with accidents all the time, and they are just that; accidents. Usually, they are completely unavoidable; just one of the more annoying things about life on this earth. All you can do is try your best, and deal with the occasional oopsie.

Hope all goes well...