The age gap, is it really such a big deal?

Question

Recently I have been noticing how most people's conversations have SOMETHING to do with age differences... Up until now I have never really given it much thought... because to me the concept of someone being "too old" for someone else is ridiculous.

I have met plenty of people of who were much older than I that I could get along with perfectly fine and maintain great conversations with.

Whether it be friendships or relationships (which seems to be the most frowned upon.) I mean, come on, is it just me, or is this concept just absurd?

It's nothing to do with age if you ask me, more to do with intellect, maturity, and even spirituality (if one is into that kind of thing). I think people who judge by age need to be a bit less close-minded.

Please, correct me if I'm wrong.

Answer 1

Age is only a number. If any adult wants to be friends it's ok no matter what age they are.

Answer 2

With friendships, I think if you can hit it off with someone from a different age group, most people would say more power to you.

Relationships are more tricky. I think the older you get, like by the time you hit your late 20's it doesn't matter so much anymore. By that time in a person's life, most people are really starting to get a sense of who they are. But for somebody younger than this to be dating an older person might not always be a good thing. The younger person still has a lot of growing to do, and things to figure out while the older person has gone through that already. But, there are always exceptions where this can work, too.

That's my take on it.

Answer 3

I'm 21 and my S/O is 27. We'll have been together for 2 years this May and are looking for a place together. It's your level of mental maturity that speaks volumes. Regardless of age, two individuals may be in very similar stages of life and that creates a pretty good platform for a relationship, romantic or otherwise.

I'm receiving my bachelor's degree in just 3 years (this June!) and I'll be embarking on a career search very shortly. Likewise, my boyfriend has just this year started a "foot in the door" sort of job in the field he studied in college.

As long as the things in your life and experiences you've had are comparable (and yet you can still find more to learn from your partner!) then I believe you can have a successful relationship despite a significant age gap. If you can relate and confide in your partner as a *peer* and not as a mentor/daughter/son sort of thing, I think a relationship can be quite healthy :)

Answer 4

For me its not such a big deal, anymore. I'm only 20, and the age thing doesn't freak me out as it once did. When i was 17-18 and a 25 year old guy seemed "too old"...now a 25 year old guy seems fine.

I guess its all in the eye of the beholder really, one of my best friends is only 16. She was a freshman when i was a senior in highschool. And i was the section leader in the marching band.

I have friends 10 years older than i am and some 15 or more. And when they find out i'm only 20 they are shocked...they first thought i was much older...but they are cool with it. and we're still friends.

Answer 5

I don't think we should allow society to dictate age restrictions in relationships. There is a 21 year age gap between my boyfriend and I (I'm 27). I have never been happier in my life. Just like with any relationship, it needs to have the essentials like trust, understanding, communication, interests, goals, etc. If those elements are in place, then nothing else matters. Love is the greatest feeling in the world, and age shouldn't stop anyone from experiencing it.

Answer 6

I don't think that age is such a big deal as far as getting along with someone. It's good to have friends of different ages because they can help you to have a different perspective on life. Many of the age questions I see here are related to people who are dating. In that case, it's different because people of different ages often have different life goals and that makes it hard to keep a dating relationship together. So it's not the age, but the place in life that's usually associated with that age, that's the big deal

Answer 7

I agree with you 100 percent, but lately I have given the age difference a real good thought. If I ended up marrying someone who is 15 to 20 years older then I am then that would mean they would die and I would be widowed for just that much longer. I really dont' want to be alone when i am 60 or so.

Answer 8

Oh for sure, I have many older women friends and some very young friends.. and some my age and male friends too... It is not the age that matters, but the respect you give to people.. You can relate to any age group if you accept everyone no matter who they are and what they are. If you are willing to listen and just not take everything so seriously..I find a good sense of humor makes for a lot of friends..
I see you are one intelligent girl, keep up your attitude and you will meet so many wonderful people in the future, and have so much to learn from each person.. We are after all a gift to each other..God Bless..and Good Luck

Answer 9

The rule I have heard is:

Divide you age in half then add 7.

So, if you were 30:

30 / 2

= 15

+ 7

= 22

So as a 30 year old you would have date to date someone at least 22 or older for it to be socially acceptable.

This rule does not apply to general friendships though.

Answer 10

I agree with every word Underground Man said on this subject.

I, myself, am 43. I have friends who are 20, 26(ish), 36 (my best friend), 58, 73, and I just lost a good friend who was 80.

There are so many things that you can learn from people of all ages -- the idealism of youth and the wisdom of age.

All of my friends do have one thing in common, though -- They are all funny.