Why don't women like their men staring at other women? My boyfriend and I have been together for over 6 years now. When we are "out and about" sometimes he'll look over at a "fine piece of a--" (his words) and comment about it. It doesn't bother me at all. Or he'll comment about some woman's breasts ("She's got nice t---s!"). But it doesn't bother me one bit. I'll look to see what he's talking about, and sometimes I'll even point out women I think he might like too ("There's an a-- for you!") . We have a stable, secure relationship (obviously), we've been through hell together, but I know a lot of couples who are like that (or so it looks on the outside). I am just wondering why women have such a huge problem with their men looking at other women. It's not like every guy is a cheater and is just going to go out and sleep with them. And it's not like their men think those women are BETTER LOOKING than they are. I just want to know the reason women have a problem with it.
2007-01-10 13:36:58 · 18 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
PS: I am in NO way a "hottie". I am slighty overweight, and not "the type" that other guys would stare at.
How is it disrepectful? It's not like I'm talking to him and he's not listening to me or anything. We live together, and sometimes if we're going to the store or the movie rental house, he'll see someone "hot". To him, it's just "eye candy". He may say "I'd like a piece of that", but it's not like he is trying to replace me. A relationship is way beyond just looks and sex. It's about being friends too. And my boyfriend happens to be my best friend too.
From the answers I've seen, it looks like our relationship really *IS* different than most. Being through hell, and having your best friend as your boyfriend helps, I guess.
My thought is that, he chose to be with ME, not the other women he's staring at. If he didn't want to be with me, he wouldn't be with me. But he chose me.
2007-01-10 13:52:31 · update #1
Oh, by the way, *I* also look at guys and comment on them. He *DOESN'T* get pissed off, so your theory is wrong.
Disrepecting me would be if I ask him NOT to do it, he still did it. I've *NEVER* asked him not to do it, ever.
Just because a person's wife would get pissed off, doesn't mean everyone's wife (or girlfriend) will get pissed off. If your wife gets pissed off about it, then YES, it would be disrepectful to continue to do so in front of her. I don't get pissed off about it, in fact, like I said, I oogle along with him!
And to those women who say it is disrepectful to women? Well, don't tell me that you haven't oogled over a Soap Opera star, or Johnny Depp, or Alec Baldwin, or George Clooney, or anything like that. LOL.
2007-01-10 13:58:03 · update #2
i think it is natural for people to look. Although a lot of women are insecure about themselves or else they think if he is happy with what he has at home he doesnt need to be looking. I mean, why look at the menu if you cant order off of it
2007-01-10 13:40:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At first I thought you were crazy for being okay with it (sorry), but by the end of your question I changed my mind... it seems like you and your boyfriend have a super trusting and stable relationship, and that's great! And it's true, it doesn't mean the woman is better looking than you are.
But I suppose for some people it makes them feel that way, like their guy would rather have that woman.
2007-01-10 21:41:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's totally disrespectful for your BF to make such comments in front of you...to both you and those other women. (We're more than the sum of our body parts, ya know.) It's normal for all of us---men AND women---to look, but not to flaunt it in the faces of our significant others. It's one thing for a guy to say "She's got pretty hair" in front of his GF, but "Nice t*ts"??? Good Lord. He's trying to rub it in your face that he's checking out another lady's intimate parts. I personally would tolerate this behavior for about a one second and I'm not insecure in the least. But Sweetie I guess you've got more patience than I do.
2007-01-10 21:50:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
To me it is just disrespectful-when i am with my man-i dont gawk at other guys and say how huge their package is or anything-because i dont want him to feel insecure-after you have children and your not quite the hottie you are now-you might understand a little better-so enjoy it while you can.
2007-01-10 21:43:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Women want to feel like they are the best thing on the face of the earth. They want to feel so hot that no one even compares to them. Looking at other women brings in competition (even if it is only in their heads) which is not cool.
2007-01-10 21:42:10 · answer #5 · answered by Wendy H 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
it's just insecurities. women want to be the only woman their man looks at, regardless if they're in a stable relationship or not. sometimes, it just makes them feel good knowing that their man is only checking them out.
2007-01-10 21:41:28 · answer #6 · answered by xeternal_heavnx 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes, for example, if you were on a first date with this guy and you found out he was shallow and just went for looks, you have an okay time with him when all of a sudden another woman walks in and instead of talking to you, all of his attention is immediately to her.
but that's just an example. but that's pretty cool, that you don't mind it.
2007-01-10 21:42:19 · answer #7 · answered by jbaby 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i personally don't have a problem w/ it bcus they're just lookin and not goin after it i do the same thing with guys if i c a hot guy im gonna look but tht douesn't mean im gonna go for him i think women hav a hard time with it bcus they think their guy isn't happy with them so he's lookin at other women or mayb they just like the drama w/e i think it's stupid and they're probaly insecure about themselves and yellin at their bf is a way of ignoring the true problem i rememeber a show where the guy was lookin at his daughter's teacher and his wife got jealous and was like "what are u Miss. Wiggins man? u mr. wiggins? u wanna go home with miss. wiggins" and i remeber laughing bcus it's so stupid tht she got jealous of one look when he's married to her for like 20 years idk it doesn't make sense that when women yell at their bf for lookin at other women, but then when their guy gets jealous they're all "oh i was just lookin, it didn't mean anything" w/e
2007-01-10 21:47:38 · answer #8 · answered by L Mo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its great that you guys have that open comfy relationship - unfortunately not all of us do. we feel disrespected and insecure. it makes us feel like if hes happy with what hes got why does he have to look at others. congrats on being happy - wish i were you
2007-01-10 21:43:45 · answer #9 · answered by kd baby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its all about respect and your boyfriend has none for you i to look at other girls can't help myself but never would i comment on one to my wife not because she we get pissed but out if respect also you comment on another guy and see how pissed off he gets also he might not cheat on you now but eventually he will threes no doubt in my mind he will he does not respect you "in that manner " sorry if i sound rude but he should not comment on them looking is one thing
2007-01-10 21:43:09 · answer #10 · answered by dmck105 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋