What do I do now? I just got engaged to a guy who im begining to literally hate.What have I gotten myself into? Everyone knows im engaged.what an embarassment that would be if I told everyone we called off the engagement! My family are kings and queens of gossip, ooh how they would love to gossip about it....Im so freaking miserable.He will never change..I cant be happy with this guy
2007-01-10 13:31:23 · 37 answers · asked by Joanne a 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
End the engagement. There's probably nothing you can do about the gossip. When asked, simply say "It just wasn't working out for us. It wasn't meant to be." and leave it at that. The gossip will subside with a little time. When you get married, you're stuck. (And imagine the gossip a DIVORCE is going to create!)
2007-01-10 13:35:57 · answer #1 · answered by Jess H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from someone who has been there; if you feel in your heart that this guy is wrong for you then follow your heart and get out of the engagement before it becomes something that you will not be able to get out of. If people want to gossip let them. Stay strong and do what you believe. If he is any kind of a man he will understand eventually and if he doesn't then you have even more proof that you made the right decision. And if your family loves you they will be on your side if not well then the hell with them too. I've been where you are so I truly do understand. Just remember to love yourself no matter what anyone else says or does. Good luck and I will pray for you.
2007-01-10 13:50:24 · answer #2 · answered by Kjj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simple answer is who cares what other people think, if you're not happy with him then get out before its too late, and if the family gossip so what? at least you'll have the chance to be happy instead of miserable till the divorce comes through, but ytou do have to ask ytourself a question here, why did you get engaged to him in the first place, you must have had an inkling it wasn't right surely, did you do it to please others or to be engaged just like your friends, because if thats the case then you did it for the wrong reasons entirely, you should learn to do things for you first to make YOU happy. tell the guy straight, dont let him think all is well and then dump him at the last moment that would be too callous besides which, honesty is always the best policy. take care and good luck.
2007-01-10 13:44:13 · answer #3 · answered by a1ways_de1_lorri_2004 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What other people think should not be entering into your mind right now. This should be between you and your fiance. If you don't think he will ever change and that you will be truly unhappy with him, than you shouldn't be planning a wedding with him. Just think about the sheer economics of this for a second - a "cheap" wedding is around $10000 and they just go up from there. Do you really want to start putting deposits down for a reception site, a caterer, your dress, when you're not even sure if you want to marry this guy? If you end up having to cancel the engagement, pay no attention to what your family says and does - it's none of their business. You have to make yourself happy and if that isn't with this guy, than keep looking - he's out there somewhere.
2007-01-10 14:20:25 · answer #4 · answered by Patricia D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh jeez, sounds like a terrible place to be. it doesn't quite do to hate your fiance. But i was kinda in a similar position a few months ago. I think if you feel this way you must postpone the wedding. If your fiance is abusing your relationship in any way for you to 'hate' him so then you must leave. I'm going through the other side of hell now, my engagement just got broken a week ago. And i didn't expect it. I'm gonna have to live with the disappointment, humiliation and embarrassment for the next few months as word gets out, but at the end of it when I find someone else more deserving, it will seem all worthwhile. Better to quit now than later. Within each of us is a strong person waiting to be discovered, unfortunately only situations like this bring it out. It comes out better when you were the one that broke the engagement than the 'poor thing' on the receiving end. If your family can see the reasons why you want to end it, then i think they will give you credit for being a smart girl. Good luck.
2007-01-10 13:44:05 · answer #5 · answered by latoya w 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's worse? Being the embarrassed about breaking off the engagment, or being embarrassed about everyone knowing you got a divorce / have an unhappy marriage?
If you're not happy now with him and you are not married, how do you expect to be happy later in life married to him?
Think of it this way, yeah the family may gossip about you, but you have enough responsibilty and respect for yourself to call it off, as you realize this is not what you want. (Oh, and at least you won't be a statistic, as over 50% of marriges fail within the first 5 years.)
2007-01-10 13:42:53 · answer #6 · answered by Sinimims 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I couldnt help but read over all your previous questions (maybe you should too) and see how controlling this guy is and how unhappy you are.
I understand it will be embarrasing and feel like the end of the world if you end it with this guy.. it will probably hurt for a long time... but in a few months.. your gossipy family will have moved on to something else... and you will finally have your freedom.
Seriously.. this is your life.. you have to gain control of it.. and realize that a few months (or even a fwe years) of unhappiness are not worth a lifetime of misery and jealous and control.
Weve all been there.. but you need to get strong and get out of this before you get yoruself in a worse situation
2007-01-10 14:03:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to talk to him, and then do what's right for you. If that means breaking off the engagement, do it.
Based on your question, it seems that you may have jumped into this too early in your life. Give yourself some time to get to know YOU!
What's worse? A miserable marriage that ends in divorce or your family talking smack about you for a little while?
I'd take the family gossip.
2007-01-10 13:36:09 · answer #8 · answered by Dawn S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW. That could have TOTALLY been me writing this question. My boyfriend and I talked about getting married (we've been together 4 year) last year, told all our family, and then, since we fight so much, postponed the engagement but stayed together. My grandmother always tells me: he is such a nice guy but he's not right for you. And no, they never do change, I am starting to realize that as well. I know on one hand, i'm not happy with him and need to go our seperate ways, but on the other hand I love him and I dont want to be without him, And i should take my own advise but easier said than done!!! but if you aren't happy figure out WHY you aren't happy. Talk to him about it, and if you dont want to be engaged but you still want to be with him, and so you dont have to tell anyone that you called it off, just tell him you want to wait a bit to have the wedding (so you can think about things before you are committed to them forever!)
2007-01-10 13:44:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Which is more important- having people talk about how you broke off the engagement, or marrying a man you don't love? The people who really care about you will understand and be happy of the decision you made. The rumors will eventually fade. Better than being miserable and ending up in a divorce...which rumors will start then too! Just end it before it gets any worse and be confident in your decision. good luck!
2007-01-10 13:36:09 · answer #10 · answered by justjen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋