Does anybody else feel like family does nothing but disappoint them.?

Question

like stab you in the back or cuss you out and think it's ok or think they can control your every move?

Answer 1

yes...........all the time, you just have to try to live your own life and realize that just because they are family doesn't mean they always have your best interests at heart

Answer 2

I would be lying if I said my family NEVER did anything to disappoint me.

But truth be told, it was usually when I had an unspoken expectation of how they SHOULD be acting without remembering that:
1. You can not control anyone but yourself. and
2. My family members are human, and they WILL make mistakes, stick their feet in their mouths, and make widespread generalizations based on factors such as how and when they were raised, and their religious and social beliefs.

If you are feeling constantly disappointed, maybe you should lower the standards of expectation for your family. This does not mean that you can not keep the same standards for yourself, but you CAN manipulate certain standards to achieve the results you want (if someone's always 15 min late, ask them to arrive 20 min before you WANT them there. etc.).

Answer 3

No, my family is just fine but perhaps because I don't have any expectations that they can then disappoint me by not doing. Not really sure how your family disappoints you. Have you ever sat down and discussed with them what they do that pleases you (and on the other hand, what displeases you)? Maybe they don't know what you would like. If you can take it, you might ask them the same about you.

Answer 4

I used to until I lowered my expectations of them.
Now I take the love that they have to give in the manner which they can give it.
My brother for example is incapable of following thru on promises.
SO now when he promises to come over I make it for a time when I would normally be in the house anyway.
I DO not alter any plans to see him.
If he shows up, great, if not, I have sucessfully completed the clothing I had intended to iron or whatever, but when I stopped getting angry about it, he seemed to try harder (weird)
anywhoo, Since I dont expect much from him, I dont get let down often by him.
Once I stopped taking his actions personally, I felt better about him and our relationship.
My mother cant keep a secret.
I was pissed once when she told something that was very personal.
Now, I dont tell her anything that I dont want broadcast on the 6 oclock news.
Once I lowered my expectations of HER, I was not angry at her for being herself. I realize that she was not mean spirited in her actions, she just had a problem keeping things to herself.
So since you cant change your family, just change how it effects you and your reactions to the things that they do or dont do.
It is so much better for your mental health!

Answer 5

Yep you said a mouthful without talking.My family is a mess and I just started telling folks I don't have a family.They have truly got on my last nerves and I am tired of the drama from them.So I just cut them off.Somtimes it's good to not even have a family.

Answer 6

I do. Maybe the family members think that they have your unconditional love, and so they don't have to work for it. And they think that they can treat you how they want. At least I think that is what my family thinks! That disappoints me everyday!

Answer 7

No, other way, I'm the disappointment in the family, and that's a VERY big statement......sadly.

Answer 8

No, because I love them, even if they do make bad judgements every now and then, that's why we're family, to be there for them.

Answer 9

LOL You must be talking about my daughter.

Answer 10

yes they do but i still love them