Why does my ex keep calling me and not talk about our son lately?

Question

He calls early in the morning from his job b/c his phone bill is unpaid. He complains he's broke , he's sick, miserable, and don't know what to do. We have a 9 year old that he's seen a couple of times since he's been in and out the joint for 8 years. Anyway, he don't want me anymore cuz he's a coward and he knows he had to earn my trust and he couldn't do it so he screwed around with this old skeezer and he says he's not in love with her but she is a loser by what he says. He's just with her b/c I told him I never want him and he's scared of being alone and will stay with her just b/c she has nowhere else to go. I Told him that since they are shacked un a motel and he's with a woman who is intimidated by our former relationship that I think he should not see our soon b/c he's not safe or logical and neither is she. She don't like him talking about his his son. He calls me I don't call him. He wants to talk to me cuz he can't with her. Did I just answer my ? Tell me ur ideas n e way.

By the way, she moved in with him after she got putout by her daughter. The old woman is 16 years older than him only 1 year older than his mama. You can't tell me he don't have mama issues.

He does have a job and has been working about 3-4 months he is basically paying his fines from court and living expenses nad med bills. I am not excusing him from paying child support at all . He says he goes to AA 2x a week as a condition of probation. His life is such a mess and I do get tired of hearing it. I'm doing the best I can.

Answer 1

Sounds like you have there a very lonely, frightened man there. I say frightened because it can't be too pleasant being broke, sick, miserable and with an older woman that wants not to talk about his son and who knows what else. His home life can't be too pleasant if he calls you every morning. Sounds like you are his only friend and that he has finally seen who has been a good friend to him all along, and that is you. It is too bad it took him so long to see this, especially since you two have a son he could have been a good dad to all along.
I say, just listen to him and assure him that when the time is right, you will let him see his son, but not now. Tell him when he gets some help, a clean place to live, away from the motel, when he is feeling better physcially and mentally about himself and you have supervised his home and seen that no older woman is there when your son visits, you will work with him. Look up doctors and professional councilors that can help him, medically, and financially. Direct him where to go to apply for a job. He must follow through, if he does not follow through with his promises and actions than he is not really serious of changing for his son and you will not work with him to help him gain visiting rights. And then I would then stop his calls, changing phone number and moving if I had too.. If he does not want help this man can only make your life miserable. If he does want help, then work with him.
He might never pay you back for all that you are doing for him now, but remember you are not doing it for yourself, but for your son..he is your son's father. Your son will be a young man one day, and it will be so much easier on him to be proud of his dad than to feel shame.. If he is proud of his dad, he will feel good about himself too. God Bless and Good Luck

Answer 2

He's looking to you for help because he needs someone to talk to and he knows your a decent person who is there for others. Still, dont let him bring you down, and dont get too happy by the fact that he needs you. Treat him like you would want to be treated, but make sure you dont let the decisions he has made in his life bring you or your son down.

Answer 3

it is your last word to say the accpetance of his forgiveness. don't make you pride lead in your mind. it will loss your relationship.