I've been talking to a guy that I use to work with....He quit and he didn't start to call me until six months later. When he began to call me he would ask questions to see if I was with someone, he would ask questions about my ex - father of my kids and he was really flirty . I like him, but as he says he is attracted to me (in guy terms does that mean like?). We live a good 2hrs away from ea other, so we stay connected via phone, email etc. We recently got into an argument, and I'm having a hard time getting him to return my calls, he will not answer the phone. I can't figure him out, does this mean it's over? Should I call him from a restricted #? Would that be considered stalking? I don't want to scare him away but if our "friendship" is over I want to know why. He's not my boyfriend but I do care for him. Do I give him time (it's been 10 days since we talked) I really do miss him help!!
2007-01-10 12:57:35 · 19 answers · asked by Yvette 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First off, I want to tell you that you have my sympathy. It's not a favorable situation, obviously. But the thing is, if you went to all that trouble to get ahold of him, when he obviously hasn't gone to any trouble to talk to you, you'd be putting a lot of effort into the friendship/relationship. He wouldn't be putting much, would he? You say you're not dating. If you were to begin dating, are these grounds the grounds on which you'd like to base a romantic relationship? Think about it. He's not doing much pursuing. And let me tell you, you are worth being pursued. You are worth being sought after, and any guy who won't do it isn't worth your time. Wait for the one of a kind man who will go to the ends of the world (or close) to stay in contact with you no matter what the circumstances. He's out there, I promise. Moving on from this guy will definitely be tough, but it will make you stronger. It's all up to you, but that's my advice. Follow your heart & your brain equally--following one over the other will only lead to a lot of pain. Think carefully before making any decisions, though. Good luck!
2007-01-10 13:05:52 · answer #1 · answered by indiesky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10 days? There must be some sort of problem. He owes you an explanation! My long distance boyfriend once didn't call me for three days, and I actually drove to his house. Stalking? Perhaps, but I had no intention to do anything except get the explanation I deserved from him. I think if you have not done so, you could leave a message that says at this point, you will walk away, but it's cowardly of him to not tell you what happened between the two of you. He already knows it, but state the obvious! Maybe it'll get him thinking and he'll email you or something. In the meantime, see a therapist if you think it will help. Also, there are lots of books out there on dealing with betrayal and disappointment. Also, listen to Christina Aguilera's song, "Fighter". Hope you feel better soon...
2007-01-10 21:08:13 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yvette - I am wondering why he took so long to call in the begining.....anyway - from all that I have observed, when a guy says he is "attracted" to you, it is primarily sexual, although they may not make that clear....but "attraction" indicates that somewhat...it is a magnetic draw....this vibe....it's mostly sexual. Sounds like you guys are in a long distance relationship/friendship....have you all ever went out or did anything to establish the relationship and bond in the way that successful relationships need to grow prior to his moving so far away? ...If he has not called you in 10 days, that is a clean indicator that things are ice cold, especially if you all never established the relationship. If he really wanted to get to know you and date you seriously, he would have found a way to visit, even if just 1 time a week! Don't call him from a restricted number - he has shown you by not calling that he doesn't want to talk! You will do better finding a guy in your vicinity that is available - one that you can get to know and enter into a local relationship that will lead to the fufillment that you are looking for.
2007-01-10 21:12:06 · answer #3 · answered by ST 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop calling, e-mailing and everything else. This guy clearly doesn't want to talk to you right now. Leave him alone. He will either get back to you or he won't. When dealing with the opposite sex, you never want to seem desperate. More than likely your relationship was on rocky ground or you wouldn't have had an argument. If you do hear from him, and you decide that you want to go back out with him, be sure and work on your communications with him. You need to get to know him a lot better on an intimate level.
2007-01-10 21:14:16 · answer #4 · answered by sunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that this happened to you. I would wait......if he doesn't call again, then don't wait on him. I know you care, but if a relationship goes both ways. If he's not ready to make up, or even willing to make up, then you're wasting your time. Give him several more days....if you still can't contact him, then forget about him and find someone else. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-01-10 21:08:27 · answer #5 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No dont call him from a restricted #...that has stalker written all over it...instead email him, let him know how u feel and if your sorry or u want to know what is going on...more days after that...what was the fight about...was stupid or seriouse...that matters...anyway try that and if u still dont get a response i guess its over...hope this helps
2007-01-10 21:08:39 · answer #6 · answered by eyesopen16 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait a bit to let things settle...
Then try to phone him and say exactly what you wrote here!
i.e. this:
"I can't figure him out, does this mean it's over? I don't want to scare him away but if our "friendship" is over I want to know why. He's not my boyfriend but I do care for him. I really do miss him help!!"
Just replace "him" by "you".
Good luck!
2007-01-10 21:04:44 · answer #7 · answered by s0190331 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go stalking him. Just leave him be. He knows where to find you. Sounds to me like he's just killing time with you. If he isn't making the effort to see you and all he wants is a phone buddy, wait til he calls back.
2007-01-10 21:04:28 · answer #8 · answered by Sharyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is interested in more than being friends with you. It's probably better that he's gone. If he's not returning your calls then stop calling. He probably found a girlfriend after he realized that he wasn't getting anywhere with you in that way.
2007-01-10 21:02:03 · answer #9 · answered by sherockstn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like if he doesn't have his way he will go to a corner and cry like a kid. Now that's the difference between a man and a boy like him. I would move on and forget teh punk. want to chat with a real man just IM me anytime.
2007-01-10 21:03:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋