He was in jail for several weeks and we found out he was using all kind of drugs (meth, cocaine....) and he had been abusive in the past. She filed for divorce and we thought everything would be fine. He refused to go to rehab.Then she let him move back in the house right before Christmas. I am having a hard time moving past this. I am angry with him and at her for going back to him. Anybody have any suggestions on how to deal with this situation.
2007-01-10 11:50:17 · 9 answers · asked by KD 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
YOU can ONLY keep the lines of communication open with your sister and offer to help her if times are tough, and yes, to OFFER to be with her when she goes to Support Groups for those individuals who have to live with/deal with/be with family members who are current addicts.
I would make sure to sit down with your sister -- does she have a SAFETY Plan in place at this time? Since you did not state the reason (or maybe not know the reason) why she allowed him to return to the home .. maybe it would be a good idea to LEARN those reasons .. is it because she still has strong feelings, does NOT see any way to provide for herself/her child on her own, etc?
I would suggest that you and her plan a night out .. and yes, do some searching on your own for the Narc-anon or Al-Anon Groups, and find out the group meeting times for those CO-DEPENDENT Family members to attend. GO WITH HER to the meetings, and let her listen/meet/see how others are surviving and thriving (as well as struggling) with these addicted individuals in their lives.
Other than that -- REMIND her that she DOES have a SAFE HOUSE to go to in case she and her child needs it -- YOUR HOME. WELCOME her to be there with you, but there are some considerations made -- in that she is NOT allowed to invite this 'husband' into your home IF she is there in the first place. BECAUSE you want her to have a SAFE HAVEN ... but you are NOT going to allow co-dependency at the same time.
2007-01-10 12:51:45 · answer #1 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-17 00:45:51 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a good question, cuz if it was me and i know this is a terrible thing to say but of that was me i dont think i could ever forgive him, cuz to truy forgive you have to forget, and i couldnt ever forget that, so i say just try and find some way to have peace with it but i dont know how you can forgive that, its so sad that your sister has low self esteem to have to even want to go back to him that just aint right, she needs to talk to someone but you need to continue to be there for her. what are your parents saying about this???
2007-01-10 12:59:17 · answer #3 · answered by brown_eyedgurl22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to forgive him or respect the choice. Just let her know you will be there for her if/when she wants to leave him. Sadly, there will probably be a reoccurence. This could possibly jeopardize her life.
2007-01-10 12:41:40 · answer #4 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your sister is a fool but u have to respect her wishes but stay close to her heart so u know if anything is going to go down again.
2007-01-10 12:19:45 · answer #5 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may not like what he did to your sister, but it is between them to. All you can do is pray for your sister and him.
Remember, Jesus forgive you for all your sins went he dead on the cross. If God can forgive you, you much forgive them.
The best thing you can do is pray for them. I will be praying for all of you.
2007-01-10 12:48:35 · answer #6 · answered by GOD IS LOVE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness has more to do with you than the other person. So forgive yourself for your bad feelings. Then do what must be done....
An intervention with your sister. Because...
If he was doing drugs ...she was doing them too.
Stop denying it.
Get her to rehab... and to counseling.
2007-01-10 12:02:36 · answer #7 · answered by Stargatebabe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is the cycle of violence your sister is consumed with. Support her, love her, be there for her, If she has forgiven him, let it go. She will come to you. Be patient.
2007-01-10 15:27:50 · answer #8 · answered by shoes_717 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont forgive him. simple.
2007-01-10 12:19:43 · answer #9 · answered by Candy!!!!!!!!! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋