My husband's favoritism between our 14 year old and our 3 month old is just ridiculous. How to deal?

Question

The difference is stark. Our 14 year old is not his biological child, but he's a good Dad to her in general. Our baby is almost 3 months old and while she's totally adorable, he'll almost do a cheer and a dance greeting her and have to be reminded to say something to our older daughter. He tends to be controlling sometimes and those types like to "punish" when you aren't their picture of perfect. He knows he's doing this and has asked me to pray, but everyday there is another example of who he favors more and I don't want my daughter to resent her sister. She's not noticing too much or complaining (from what I can tell) but if I were her, I'd be a p'd off little kid. Sorry so long, but thanks for reading and thanks for your advice.

p.s. YES he and I are in counselling...

Answer 1

It is a good thing that you both are participating in counseling. In your husband's defense, what he is doing is a completely natural response. In the best of all possible worlds, the parents of the child bond with them. You did not mention how long he has been in your older daughter's life. Yet again, it does sound as if he is trying. Give him room, help him along in a loving and caring manner. He must have belief in God and the power of prayer. These are all good things. Most important is how your 14 year-old daughter is feeling. Unless she is incredible busy, I am suggesting to you that she has notices the difference. She may not want to upset you if she talks about it. Let her know that you are there for her. As soon as she sees that both of you are working toward addressing this issue, she may begin talking about it. It sounds as if you have a wonderful family. God bless.

Answer 2

i think of whether they have been the two his boilogical toddlers there could be a distinction, in basic terms via age hollow. of direction he's going to be excited with regard to the toddler. I quite have a brother that's 6/8 years youthful than my sister and that i, and my mothers and fathers the two dealt with him very in a distinctive way than us. They nonetheless do. He shouldnt be completely ignoring the older one however, in spite of the shown fact that it may in basic terms be organic for him to be somewhat greater enthusiastic top now with regard to the toddler, it is going to in all danger placed on off, or in case you have yet another toddler, then the only that's the toddler now could be feeling the comparable as your oldest daughter.