i'm 20 years old and my boyfriend is 39. i know him since i was 15 years old, but i only got with him four months ago. when i first met him and i was 15 years old he said he couldn't have kids(we'd have unprotected sex , but he wouldn't come in me) now that i'm 20 he's talking about having a baby and he wouldn't pull out when he ejeculating. but i issue with him is trust,can i trust this man enough to have a baby for him. i'm studying at university . and he doesn't have any kids.................................but i just feel like i can't trust him after the whole baby fiasco.
2007-01-10 10:45:51 · 94 answers · asked by candyprincess 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This guy is using u the exact same thing happened to me, he told me he wanted a baby, i was 19 he was 40 (told me he was 31). He got my hopes up i thought he loved me but the whole time he was just leading me on, i later found out he was married and had 3 other kids and the reason he wasnt wearing protection was cos he had already got the snip. This guy ruined my life 4 a long time he was just a sleazy old pedofile, my best advise to u is just 2 move on your too young to be with someone of that age and yes honey as sad as it is, he IS just using u, good luck hope u make the right choice.
2007-01-10 11:00:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 1⤋
i just had a baby this year with a man i was about to break up with then i ended up prego..... i acually made the relationship deeper. and the joy you get from a child is amazing. the birth is the hardest thing but the best at the same time. you say you have only bin dating for 4 months mabye you should try for a year before making the big choice. babys are great but if you dont have a engagment ring or wedding ring its never for sure if your man will be there. and if you have the choice whats more important your freedom or having a baby with a guy that my not be there in a year let alone 18 years. i'm 20 as well so i can relate
2007-01-10 11:45:32 · answer #2 · answered by boo_1313 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'd hold on with the baby thing for a while. You're at University and obviously intelligent as you wouldn't be there if you weren't! Would you not prefer to finish your course and achieve a career out of all the hard work that you're putting in just now before having a family. As for dumping your boyfriend, that's a personal choice and I suppose it all boils down to wether you can ever learn to trust him in the same way as you did. A good idea is to sit down and talk about things with him... maybe that way you'll get some honest answers which will help you make up your decision.
2007-01-10 11:05:27 · answer #3 · answered by Sami 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I totally agree w/Jess H.
He is just using, u may not think so because u think u know him. I thought the same thing honey-I'm currently in a situation like that but kids are defintely out the question.
He made me believe when I didn't believe; what I'm saying is this man stepped into my life at a vulnerable time of mines. when I needed that extra boost; he agreed w/all my gripes & woes (u know playing the cheerleader role/pretty much). But, the whole time plotting how he could get into my pants. Once he got there he was like I had a crush on u ever since u was twelve. I use to watch u & wish u were my girl; I would protect u & all that & guess what.......he's the main one that is trying to hurt me. Its a real long story but I've been w/him so long its kind of hard to let go.
Don't get to comfortable like I did find someone that is down for you- someone who will listen to u & respect what u trying to do (be something in life by going to sch., besides this guy want a baby before marraige? no,no if he offered marriage & u turned it down /its a reason u did so/deep u may feel this guy ain't hitting on nothing) & u want someone who will value your opinion & not disregard u by ejaculating in you. (I hate to keep bringing me into the conversation but; this low life of mines, would always find a way to destroy the condom & make it so it would come off---so, that he could the natural feel of sex---I think that is so selfish, this idiot couldnt respect that/I know we were exclusive but I didn't want no accidents if u know what i mean & diseases).
But, I think u should slowly remove yourself from this; because he is selfish & cares about his wants only (notice I said wants, because its not a need).
If u do decide to stay w/him be very careful. But, the kid thing can wait. A child need a stable home, parents w/careers & parents that can be truthful w/one another. And, for that jerk I'm dealing w/he is out here...I'm tired of the lies, the sneaky moves, deceitful ways & his moody a**........
Good Luck.
2007-01-10 11:54:27 · answer #4 · answered by Nedda 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
if you really love him, you shouldn't dump him, all men lie for one thing or another, some for worst things. You are only 20 years old, think if you really love him, think if he is the right man for you, think if that is the person you are actually going to spend the rest of your life with. Maybe its not love, maybe its just that your so used to this man specially since you've been with him since you were 15. Now, in regards to the baby, if you dint want to have a baby at the moment, he should respect your decision, your only 20 years old, there is time for everything. I say you should finish your college degree, then have babies, he will be able to have babies in his late 40's. I hope my advise helps. And be careful when your having intercourse, men will do anything to get a girl pregnant if that's what they want. Good luck!
2007-01-10 11:13:21 · answer #5 · answered by undecided 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hun, you are going to regret having a kid with this man. Ask yourself this questions: Do you love him? Can you talk to him and have him understand you about this situation without any conflicts? Are you willing to take such a big responsability? You don't want a kid this young. I am 20 as well, and as much as I hate to say it, I was pregnant before. I decided to have an abortion since I was on BC and it obviously failed, but not just that I was experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and I would have died! But anyways, trust me you do not want a kid right now, especially if you are sutdying. Finish your school and explain to your boyfriend the situation. If he loves you he will understand, if not, you are not with the right man.
BTW- not to be rude, but in about 15 years you'll be taking care of your kids and him! Find someone a little bit more your age, trust me you'll be happier.
2007-01-10 11:27:18 · answer #6 · answered by Kiki 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
yes! dump him. i know it will be hard, and you may not fully want to but you need to! yes i will address the age difference. he is waaaaaaaaay too old!! when you are 20 you need to be out having fun with guys your age! think about when you are 40 and with a guy that is nearly 60! eeeew! he is way too old. and yeah, if he had sex with you when you were a minor his **** should be in jail. if he is 39 and is dating someone your age he must have something wrong with him...you gotta ask yourself why he isn't with someone his own age, and why he got to that age and is still single!!! and the baby thing!! he sounds like a freak!! DON'T trust him at all!! get him out of your life quick smart!! what kind of a sicko is he? he obviously just didn't want to use a condom with you when you were younger so made up some bullshit story!! and now he has realised he is nearly over the hill!!!! and hasn't got a baby so now he is doing what he needs once again. you don't want a baby at 20!! finish your uni degree and start a life on your own, start fresh and date uni guys!!!!!! young uni guys!! don't waste your life. when you are 50 he will be almost dead!! lol get rid of him!NOW!
2007-01-10 11:07:22 · answer #7 · answered by purple__penguin 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
trust plays a big part in any relationship. regardless of what it was that he lied to you about( it could have been anything from eating the last cookie to being married for the last twenty years with 6 kids and another on the way). my theory is that no matter how big or how small the lie is, who is to say that there isn't other things he has lied about. i say that any woman deserves better than that and it is time for you to move on. besides you are 20 years old and there is still plenty of time to have children, and since you are still in school now is not the right time.
2007-01-10 11:31:08 · answer #8 · answered by maggie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
think about the following and see what you come up with.
do you really like the guy and do you see yourself with him in the next 15 years?
do YOU want to have a baby?
are you willing to give up university while in the later stages of pregnancy?
do you think you will ever join university again after the baby?
do you two as a couple earn enough money to be able to support the child?
if most of the answers are yes then go ahead ... but think it through well before you make your decision.
2007-01-10 11:26:26 · answer #9 · answered by arksys 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He made me believe when I didn't believe; what I'm saying is this man stepped into my life at a vulnerable time of mines. when I needed that extra boost; he agreed w/all my gripes & woes (u know playing the cheerleader role/pretty much). But, the whole time plotting how he could get into my pants. Once he got there he was like I had a crush on u ever since u was twelve. I use to watch u & wish u were my girl; I would protect u & all that & guess what.......he's the main one that is trying to hurt me. Its a real long story but I've been w/him so long its kind of hard to let go.
2016-03-02 04:38:21 · answer #10 · answered by Inisha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋