Would it be good or bad? A hypothetical about sexual relationships?

Question

Me and my girlfriend had a discussion of what true sexual freedom might look like – as in, a hypothetical world where people could agree to be together, but are ok not owning each other, std’s and pregnancies are preventable, and paternity testing makes sure the right guys are raising the right babies – and we had some ideas about what it might look like.
We know that men want to have sex with lots of women to spread their seed far and wide, but women invest more in their offspring and therefore are selective. This makes women the chooser in the sexual game. However, women what different things at different times. I’ve that ovulating women want square jaw, high testosterone hotties when they’re ovulating to give their children the strongest genes, but want a man with softer features who are more likely to stick around and be a good dad during the rest of her cycle. Studies show that women are pretty good at picking out between the two.
In other monogamous animals, like birds, females do the same. They have flings with high testosterone, usually younger, males, but continuously mate with life partners that have every reason to assist in rearing the chicks since it’s a good likelihood they’re the dad.

So what if we were socialized to accept behavior more in tune with these instincts? We were ok that some men get many short term partners at some point in their lives, other men get to be super dads and get steady sex – and maybe a fling or two if they can pull it off - and women get both the mates and flings with no regrets? I think a lot of people would be intimidated by this because if women could commit to a guy for the long term, but still fulfill her desires when nature calls, naturally, there would tend to be a some guys who got a lot of different women, and another group that generally got a steady stream of sex with one.

But is it realy so bad? And if you can put yourself it such a world, is it good for the guys? Is it good for the girls? And do you see yourself being in such a world, and why?

Answer 1

Wow. Well thought-out argument and I would love to live in that world! Take me there!!!!

As a 'more mature' woman with many experiences on both sides of the fence, so to speak, I can accept this much more now than I would have been able to when I was younger.

Both sexes get what they want/need and nobody gets hurt theoretically. If only it could be!!

Answer 2

This IS our world. It's called a world with winners and losers. The winners fit the category they want to be in and the losers don't. Unfortunately, the fantasy part is where you say people actually all get what they actually want... In reality, many individuals have conflicting wants. For example, I've wanted to be in both roles you offer for men, but have always found the woman I was with at the time wanted the opposite. Sometimes I wanted more than she could offer and sometimes she wanted just a fling. That happens to a lot of people, so most people don't have their needs met. If you are lucky enough to get what you want, then you have a great and happy life. Most people, however, will probably say they want one role, but then change their mind later and want another role - especially men, since you don't seem to be giving them the option to change roles. So from a man's perspective, what you're offering sucks, but it's not much different than what's going on today.

Answer 3

It is a way of life for some, however I don't know if it is the best life. The typical term is "swingers".

When I was single, I dated one girl on the weekend because we were in seperate cities. During the week, I enjoyed myself with "variety being the spice of life". I seldom went back to the ladies during the week - a one night encounter was all that I was looking for. It worked out and I married the girl I saw on weekends 31 years ago and am still happily married - and she is the only "spice" I have needed in those few short years.

I don't think the situation you describe is bad as a single person, however once married, attitudes change and most do not want their partner with anyone else. As such, I don't see myself in such a world due to the emotional aspects involved. As a single person it was good for me, and hopefully good for the ladies I was involved with.

Answer 4

An emotionally mature individual would be able to deal with this. I think it would be good for the guys and girls. I do see myself being in such a world, for sure!! Personally, I don't believe in marriage, because it is making a person your possession. I don't think that humans are really monogamous creatures. Great question!!

Answer 5

you will desire to have seen the " at the instant " coach at the instant. properly, I certainly have blended emotions with regard to the entire undertaking. ideally we could all be with the only and easily them constantly and be completely ecstatically in love constantly too. yet that's someway so uncommon those days. perhaps if we had not grow to be those that psychoanalyse issues lots we could have lived the existence you're explaining and it may all make experience and no you may still have problems with it. it type of appears like all and sundry could get their desires met. yet, yeah, you may result with fathers that under no circumstances observed their infants improve and different men elevating the youngsters. yet that isn't so distinctive from what we see now lots of the time. God, that's a hard one . stable success with that!

Answer 6

They have cults like what you're describing all over the world. I understand your concept, but it could get confusing I think. For me, being divorced, and not wanting anymore kids, where would I fit in ??? ~~~~

Answer 7

wow, i didnt know that you could ask a question that long.

it is fathomable, but impossilbe. it would probably be good for girls and the guys, cause there would always be that one special girl that is like a sex addict, but it would be less for the extrememly un-attractive fat guys.

Answer 8

HIPPY