What do you think of a husband like this?

Question

Pros:
-Provides well for family
-Works hard - I can stay at home to raise our children.
-Says I'm beautiful.
-Funny, handsome, smart
-Tells me he loves me.
-Praises kids when they do well.
Cons:
-Zero work at house. does not pick up after himself. After work he sits in front of the TV and "asks" us to bring him his dinner, pop, desert, or whatever he needs. Will leave to chat with his friends at bar for a few hours in the evening or watch TV or go in his room to read. We have 4 kids, I tend to all their needs.
-Leaves the house to golf or ride his Harley for hours whenever he wants. I stay at home with the children.
-asks nicely first, then gets upset or angry when things don't go his way. Then picks on things I did wrong.
-Affair once. Very sorry.
-traces of porn on family computer. says he clicked on one thing and then, surprise, porn popped up. Kids accidently saw titles in file list
-One time pushed son out of way so hard he fell to the ground (12 yr. old 5'8)

Answer 1

His actions speak louder than words and by his actions that you described, he doesn't respect you and doesn't value his role as a interactive father in his children's lives. I'd leave him. Not worth living with someone who is only living for himself. Just think....you could be replaced by a robot and it wouldn't make a difference to him.

Answer 2

You asked this question so I'll tell you what I think!!
Your 'so-called' husband is a 'JERK', and a selfish, immature
control freak!
I'm sorry to be Ssoooo blunt, but I'm just being honest dearie!!
This man has some really 'SERIOUS' problems going on with him, and he's really taking advantage of you, as you have evidentally allowed much of his behavior, like riding his harley, whenever, and going to the bar whenever, watching tv while you guys have to wait on him.
You have actually contributed to this 'now' BIG problem.
Pushing your son and knocking him down would have been the 'last' straw if it were me, I'd have left a long time ago.
As a mother, your first instinct 'SHOULD BE' to protect your children, even if it's from their father.
You do what you want, but I'd have left him long ago.
You are only teaching your kids 'BAD' parenting skills by keeping them in such an unbalanced, sordid atmosphere.
You're their mother. DO SOMETHING for ''their'' good!!

Answer 3

for starters always remember "people treat you the way you allow them to treat you"

Perfect example: A policeman has to be force full and direct or you won't respect him even in uniform. That same guy goes home and is a pu$$y cat and gets ran over....why....he's the same person right....sure his job required him to get respect......why doesn't he want respect at home?

My point is we all sometimes fall into a different character sometimes that allows us to be treated a certain way. ALL OF US DO IT.

What you have to do is take this list, bring it to him, and it an polite manner do the sandwich technique.

(look him in the eyes) Tell him you love him and respect him for ( say your pros list) but it would be nice if you could help me with or stop doing (cons list) then finish with I love you and really appreciate everything you do and how hard you work. This is just bothering me and I need your help honey.

He has to respect your feelings even if he doesn't agree with them, and he needs to know that.

You are not begging or pleading here. You are simply expressing your feelings to him in a respectful manner. He will have no choice but to step up to the plate.

Answer 4

The fact that he pays for everything and gives you the occassional compliment doesn't make his bahavior OK. The children are not your sole repsonsibility. The days of men bringing home the bacon and leaving their wives to everything else are over!!! The fact that he looks at porn and had an affair speaks volumes about the type of man he is! Respect yourself and your children enough to see this man for what he is- a selfish baby!

Answer 5

This person don't have respect for himself or know one else. Respect and Communication is very important in a marriage.

Pushing his son is a NO! It time for you to sit down and talk with him. If he don't want to talk or get any help, MOVE ON.

We are our KIDS role model. They learn what they see. Let them see the best mother you can be.

My prays are with you and your family.

Answer 6

Unfortunately your husband was raised to think that men are kings and all should serve him. He figures that if he makes the money, he can do what he wants. There is no way you are going to change him unless that is what he wants. So your options are limited. Stay and live with it, or go and get on with your life.

Answer 7

You put up w/ the thing you put up w/ for what?????I don't put up w/ bar going .... Never have and never will my husband respects that because it is 50/50 I do him like he dose me . We love each other and respect that if I think he wouldn't like me doing something would i like it if he did something like that it sounds like you should have a talk about that. You love him i can tell but it sound like you r a push over......

Answer 8

Just words if he says he loves u and spend all his time else where.

Answer 9

sounds like he has more cons than he does pros. i wouldnt like that at all. when there are children involved he needs to do his share to

Answer 10

well provider but a JERK !!!!