Can someone read my essay? US history... i really need help with it. just give me constructive criticism?

Question

Who is to determine what can be endured? Everyone in this world has a body different from another; from their personality to their genetic makeup. General statements about human beings can be established based on studies and statistics but they fail to recognize the difference in each person. A person has an unlimited potential as long as studies have not gained a full understanding of the human body. Basketball players and track stars are thought to be superhuman because of their abilities. Good stamina comes from training and their large lung capacities. However, these abilities came only from their training. Persistence, diligence and practical training resulted in their ‘superhuman’ abilities, not supernatural abilities. If everyone and their bodies are different, then who is to say what is difficult or physically impossible? Everyone’s body does have a limit, but we cannot establish a limit in others when we haven’t reached it in ourselves. No one can really make a definite statement on endurance because not everyone is the same. One can endure anything if they will themselves enough. Pearl Harbor enraged Americans and triggered the desire to fight once again for this country. Young boys out of college were drafted into the army. Young and skeptical, the boys brought with them virtue and camaraderie. Youthful optimism, intense training and use of new weapons confirm that the demands of conventional front-line combat did not approach the practical limits of human endurance.
The youth were strong and resilient and they should have been in their prime. The soldiers of WWII were suspicious about European conflict and were critical about slogans like “Making the World Safe for Democracy.” Even so, they prepared for army life. After the events of Pearl Harbor, Americans became enraged and got caught up with the hysteria. Some draftees were ecstatic to get a chance to beat a foreign enemy once again. They were enthusiastic and felt safe with a feeling of US invincibility. Enthusiasm and optimism motivated the soldiers to fight and continue fighting.
Some of the draftees and new recruits were not physically fit so training helped ensure success and survival on the battlefield. Marching and running became daily exercises for the soldiers. Soldiers like Private Ed Tipper assumed that the first days of camp were easy.
I looked up at nearby Mount Currahee and told someone, ‘I bet that when we finish the training program her, the last thing they’ll make us do will be to climb that mountain’… A few minutes later, someone blew a whistle. We fell in, were ordered to change into boots and athletic trunks, did so, fell in again – and then ran most of the three miles to the top and down again. (Wukovits, 14)
They were training to build up their endurance. “On the double” was a euphemism for running and eventually they would go everywhere ‘on the double’. (Harrison, 29) If the men weren’t running or doing calisthenics, they learned to march. Most soldiers detested this constant exercise, especially in the humid summer months. They also had night marches were the men could not pause for water, food or sleep. Commanding officers often checked canteens to make sure soldiers didn’t take a sip. (Wukovits, 14) Also, the strict military life did not allow for any violations of rules. Commanding officers imposed strict penalties for any defiance, usually in the form of physical effort. The officers were trying to instill the fact that a mistake no matter the size could cost a soldier his life. Training usually lasted 10 hours and after an exhausting day, they still had to clean their rifles and their barracks. One soldier who endured the grueling training wrote to his family about it:
The culmination of physical training was the requirement that the solder with the rifle and thirty pound pack, negotiate a 1500 foot obstacle course in three in a half minutes. Specific requirements were that he take off with a yell, mount an eight foot wall, slide down a ten foot pole, leap a flaming trench, weave through a water main, climb a ten foot rope, clamber over a five foot fence, swing by a rope across a seven foot ditch, mount a twelve foot ladder and descend to the other side, charge over a four foot breastwork, walk a twenty foot cat walk some twelve inches wide and seven feet off the ground, swing hand over hand along a five foot horizontal ladder, slither under a fence, climb another and cross the finish line in a sprint. (Wukovits, 17)
Combat training attempted to recreate conditions soldiers would have to fight in. Life ammunition was used on obstacle courses to simulate battlefield conditions (Wukovits, 14). This was only done to prepare the soldier for combat and because of this a soldier could endure anything. The military food was even made to promote a healthy body with nutritional choices for the solider. The food that was fed to the solders was mean to keep them energized. Packed with 4000 calories a meal, they were very beneficial, however the taste. Soldiers carried packs with them just in case they had needed to eat in a situation where a kitchen wasn’t available. These kits contained enough food for a solder to eat and it met certain nutritional requirements. Their meal consisted of: caned meat bread and peas and some kind of dessert. They also had condiments, spices and other necessitates. It was also in the soldier’s best interest to eat what was given to him. If the soldiers ate what they were supposed to they wouldn’t have felt tired during the combat.
The new weapons technology took away much of the physical labor in the battle field. Of course the soldiers themselves would argue that the effort it took to carry, assemble and disassemble such instruments was strenuous, but basic training should have prepared them for it. Hand operated weapons were effective when it came to the efficient elimination of human life. The improvement of flame throwing weapons was extremely deadly. The M-69 spewed gelatinized gasoline that stuck to targets and caused inextinguishable fires and soldiers flesh would incinerate. Also the bazooka and the PIAT (Projector Infantry Anti-Tank) became effective against tanks. Mines and booby traps hid underneath the ground at times even seasoned veterans could not tell where they were located. Also, spherical metallic balls called mines were hid in the soil underneath grass and twigs. Unsuspecting soldiers could have the explosion rip through them in an instant. Incendiary bombs were able to produce an intense fire when exploded. Veiled by surrounding terrain, snipers used opportunities to take shots at unsuspecting soldiers. There were many ways for a soldier to die in the battlefield and because of this many soldiers became helpless. Leinbaugh Campbell wrote, “[their] new-boy illusions of the past two days dissolved in a moment [when confronting battle]”(Wukovits, 27) The German S-mine or “Bouncing Betty” was intended to injure a soldier after the Germans realized that it took at least two men to carry wounded off the field. Planes became more advanced where they could hold more bombs as well as guns. Aircraft roaming the skies could easily spot and destroy enemy artillery units on the ground. (Wukovits, 58) Tanks weren’t much help to any side during the war. Although they were steel plated and thought to protect the inhabitants, they were slow and easily could be taken out by a PIAT. Bazookas and assault rifles made it easier to kill someone without being so close. (Wukovits, 56) Besides improvement in weapons, faster troop transportation made a rapid return to battle possible and supplies to be sent to troops faster.
I understand that the horrors the solider faced were great, however I do not believe that it had anything to do with physical endurance. The physical weariness the men experienced was only an account to their not being able to sleep. Many men had nightmares of the war. Capt. Charles R. remembers a “persistent memory…possibly a result of longstanding strain or a feeling that on the basis of having to fight for every hedgerow the war would go on forever”(WWII, 168) Every soldier felt a fear of death, capture, torture or worse. The men underwent several psychological traumas and developed disorders like “shell shock” and “combat fatigue” but none of which had to do with any extreme physical stress. Shell Shocked soldiers posed a danger to other troops. As mention before, basic training was meant to cover the physical training but nothing could prepare the soldiers for what was coming next in the battle field. William Manchester describes his reaction of killing his first man.
I shot him with a .45 and I felt remorse and shame. I can remember whispering foolishly, ‘I’m sorry’ and then just throwing up….I threw up all over myself. It was a betrayal of what I’d been taught as a child. (Military life 151)
There is a mental limit inside every human being that cannot permit killing another human being. There are many ways to predict the onset of such distress. War doctors tried to lessen the impact of their mental devastation at first by shipping them back to the United States. Then they figured that by placing men in supportive units, they would be able to quickly counteract the disorder. However, mental barriers are hard to break. Many broke down and refused to continue. By making secret pacts with comrades, soldiers would agree to injure each other to escape the horrors of front line combat. Others would purposely walk into enemy fire or stick their bodies out of a trench to purposely get shot at. (History in Dispute, 50) War doctors predicted that a man could take no more than 120 days of combat before he broke down. ( SORCE?)
The demands of conventional front-line combat did not approach the practical limits of human endurance. By 1945 soldiers weren’t feeling the effects of a lack of physical endurance. They had trained of war in basic training, it was the mental stress that caused the ominous fatigue that slowed the soldiers.

Answer 1

1. Don't grant "superhuman" status to athletes. They are nothing more than using specialized abilities in an artificial activity. They don't deserve the same physical status combat conditioned men do.

2. I do not see a theme emerging in your first paragraph. Your transition from personal physical attributes to Pearl Harbor is strange at best. You need to figure out what your theme is going to be and then transition from personal physical attributes to training large groups of physcially different men in order to give them the most chance at surviving in unpredictable combat situations.

3. You need to introduce some intangibles that affects the personal performance of others when organized as part of a bigger team or organization. For instance, the following quote:

"The American Marines have it [pride], and benefit from it. They are tough, cocky, sure of themselves and their buddies. They can fight and they know it." ---General Mark Clark, U.S. Army

An immeasurable value is placed on the above "pride" in an organization and can actually boost the normal performance of an individual to those "superhuman" levels you attribute to mere athletes. For instance, the following quote demonstrates the value of "esprit de corps":

"There was always talk of espirit de corps, of being gung ho, and that must have been a part of it. Better, tougher training, more marksmanship on the firing range, the instant obedience to orders seared into men in boot camp." --James Brady, columnist, novelist, press secretary to President Reagan, television personality and Marine

Continue the above themes and draw out a thread in your essay on that intangible attribute instilled in soldiers and Marines due to their common training, past history, and desire to help their buddy. Supporting quotes could be:

"My only answer as to why the Marines get the toughest jobs is because the average Leatherneck is a much better fighter. He has far more guts, courage, and better officers... These boys out here have a pride in the Marine Corps and will fight to the end no matter what the cost. -- 2nd Lt. Richard C. Kennard, Peleliu, World War II

Again, this pride can be demonstrated among even the most average, physical specimen at any time during combat situations.
One quote to support this thread:

"Courage is endurance for one moment more…"
Unknown Marine Second Lieutenant in Vietnam

Other quotes supporting the common theme:

"Why in hell can't the Army do it if the Marines can. They are the same kind of men; why can't they be like Marines."
Gen. John J. "Black Jack" Pershing, USA; 12 February 1918

Irrespective of combat experience in enhancing otherwise normal physcial abilities, consider the following quote from a common housewife:

"Everything becomes a little clearer, I realize what life is all about. It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough, It's giving more when you feel like giving up".
~ In My Daughter's Eyes, Martina McBride

My final advice is to pick a clear, identifiable point, and then hammer it home with as many examples as you can show.

Then summarize it nicely at the end.

This approach, if you can master it, will you serve you well in your future endeavors.

If you use any of my advice, I would be please to get a copy of your final essay. Remember, many drafts may be required before you have it the way you want it. Don't stop at the first few.

Semper fi!!

Answer 2

Outside of a few spelling errors, it looks OK to me. Your sentence structure and vocabulary are commendable, provided you just didn't copy it. One thing I would suggest is to ask yourself what is the point you are trying to make. I had the feeling that I didn't know where you were taking me, and when I finished, I wasn't quite sure of your premise. Hope this helps.

Answer 3

I am sorry, I couldn't get through it. Extremely boring.

You need to tell the reader from the outset, what you are going to tell him or her. Then you need to the tell the reader. Then, to conclude, you need to tell them what you told him or her. Does it make sense? In other words, very strong introduction that grabs the attention. Provide details about the introduction. And then a summary of the details. You're done.