She is 20 and generally spends each evening drinking and never has any money. I am 36, financially stable and not a great drinker. But since I've been with her I have had lots of fun-something that was missing when I was married, I feel ten years younger for being with her and I do have some feelings for her but I am reluctant to get too involved as I don't want to end up hurting either of us. There is another girl who is interested in me that I think would be a better match and more likely to be someone that I could be happy with in the long run, but before I say anything to the girl I am currently with I would like to know if it is likely that we can ever find a suitable compromise given our largely differing lifestyles.
2007-01-10 10:00:21 · 11 answers · asked by Very happily married. 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I lived with an alcoholic/addict for 10 years. He was broke all the time. He spent my money as well. I paid for everything in the relationship. Bills and such. He would steal money from me.
Yes you are a 36 year old male, with a 20 year old female. Age is just a number, but maturity of the age is where it is at. Are you seeing her as a 'friend' with benefits? or has this been going on for awhile?
You lacked intimacy in your marriage. I am sure she is fun to be with, and you are catching up to what you have missed in your marriage, however it sounds like your lifestyles are conflicting big time. I would rather be happy with someone, that is going to make me feel good as a whole person that I am. I am a 34 year old female and I don't look it nor feel it. I am in my prime and a single mom, I have experience.
If you are miserable, I would get out of it. You deserve happiness and you deserve love and fun as well. I would give her the ultimatum if you really want to work it out. She sounds like a partier, if you are more into a laid back relaxed lifestyle like I am...then it probably would have to take alot of work to work this out for you. If you are questioning the situation, then it is time to let go.
2007-01-10 10:48:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is 20, very young still and the partying is in her system has yet begun and probably will be for quite a long time until she matures and learns responsibility. Look she hasn't experience life as long as you have. Listen to what your gut instinct is telling you. If you stay with the 20 year old be prepared for DRAMA......Your last statement about the new girl who is interested in you sounds like a WAY better and mature smart choice from what you said....Re-read that part and and you Will see you have answered your own question.
2007-01-10 18:39:03 · answer #2 · answered by daydreamer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Matt-what bothers me about her as you have described is the drinking. I don't think this is a good relationship for you. Yeah-it's fun now compared to your marriage, but how soon before you get tired of being around someone who's drunk all the time? Differing lifestyles are often ok in a relationship and makes the relationship more exciting at first. But who does she love more--you or the bottle? Will she quit drinking for you? If not, give it up before all your money is gone, too.
2007-01-10 18:29:39 · answer #3 · answered by David M 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to say that I don't think it will work between you and the 20 year old. You would probably be better off with the other one, as long as you actually like the other one. She likes you, at least. Good luck!
2007-01-10 18:26:20 · answer #4 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know why she is like this, she's only 20. I think you should let her be, she's just enjoying her life while she still can. Just stay with her and have fun, life's too short after all! She will grow out of this faze in a few years, I doubt she'll be like this for the rest of her life, she's doing what her mates do. Just give her time and enjoy yourself! x
2007-01-10 18:27:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes it will do for a while but pal as for the long run im not sure
it will either be long and beautiful
or short and beautiful
but either way all the best
2007-01-10 18:27:49 · answer #6 · answered by Music fan 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i totally agree with flutterby, she right on its only a phaze she going through because she is only 20 lay back have some fun and wait for her to calm down. it sounds like to me you really care for her not the other one.
2007-01-10 18:33:57 · answer #7 · answered by moe 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
thats something i often think about if 2 different life styles can work and i still don`t know the answer
2007-01-10 19:31:13 · answer #8 · answered by groundhog 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
follow your instincts on this kind of questions trust me they can never fail u cos no one hear will actually give u what u want to hear
2007-01-11 02:14:13 · answer #9 · answered by combs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your heart,and listen carefully...
2007-01-10 18:25:38 · answer #10 · answered by MaryBeth 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋