When I came home from work last week, there was a nice wrapped box in front of my apartment door. I thought it was a cool suprise until I smelled deep dark trouble. When I took the top off the box, there was a huge human turd staring up at me. I kid you not! Someone had sent me a bowel movement. I'm pretty sure I know now who did it due to certain incidents around the apartment complex. I want to call the police but I'm afraid I will laugh when I explain that I got a turd in the mail. If they think I'm joking, I could be the one in trouble. I also want to keep a low profile with the cops because they were at my house about two months ago and arrested a friend of mine; so they know me. Any suggestions on what I can do.?
2007-01-10 09:56:17 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
You call the cops and what are they going to do? Actually...know what they will do? The minute they get into the cruiser they'll be laughing their balls off. Plus you'll be the talk of the bar scene and choir practices for months to come.
Make nice with your neighbors. Or expect "The Brown" or Fecal Express to make a delivery every week.
2007-01-10 10:11:20 · answer #1 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
a detective would look for corn in the evidence then ask around about what everyone had for dinner in the past couple days....
or...
you could sniff peoples bathrooms to see if the smells resemble the one that is protruding from your boxed "present".
or...
put up flyers of the turd and ask..."looking for the owner of lost turd...please call....bla bla bla"
or...
look for fingerprints on the turd. excluding your own.
2007-01-10 18:22:13 · answer #2 · answered by user name 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋