Why is she the way she is?

Question

My mom quit her job in early 2006 and has yet to get another. I'm only 17 and I'm frustrated because I'm the only one with a job. I only make $7.00 an hour. She expects me to buy grocerys and gas. I already have a lot on my plate considering school for 8 hours and then work for 10 and only 4 hours of sleep after I've done all my homwork. Not to mention the fact that she is completely dependent on everyone around her. She even expects my boyfriend to help buy gas sometimes. He and I make the same amount and are trying to start a family together. How can I make her see that it isn't right for a 17 yr old to support her 5 member family?

Answer 1

Since you're only 17, I doubt that you can get your own account without having her name on it. So instead, you need to work out a "budget", showing what you're WILLING to pay to help around the house, and what you're not. If she tries to make you feel guilty, tell her "I'm sorry, this is what I can do. I can't do any more than this." and leave it at that. Set aside some of the money in a secret place (preferably with a lock that only you have the key to!) to prepare for moving out on your own.

Sadly, she will never see reason. This is why you need to set boundaries. Just like an adult would set boundaries for a child, you too will have to set boundaries for her. Don't be mean, just be matter-of-fact. If she sees her "support" dwindling, she will look to another source, HOPEFULLY herself.

As far as her expectations of your boyfriend, if he doesn't set limits, she will try to walk all over him (and you) the rest of your lives. Yes, she might try to refuse your seeing him. But with yours being the only source of income, you pretty much have all the "buying power" you need.

But check your state laws (you can usually find them on the internet, or talk with a well-informed adult who will keep your information private), you MIGHT be able to move out, open your own account, and basically start living as an adult. And if that's the case, DO IT!

Answer 2

Thats tuff with school as well shame u 2 cant get out on your own. Can u stay at his house. Your mother needs a wake up call she cant expect that of either of u.