We have a baby and a toddler. Got pushed during first pregnancy, slapped on mouth after birth, and after new baby got hit on my right cheek: all without marks that could last long enough to take a picture of. He makes me feel guilty for everything, and bad about myself. He has destroyed 2 areas of 2 wall. (One on each),during arguments. I have a few relatives about 100 miles from me. I do not have anyone else to help me. I amso scared of him. People outside thinks he is so nice.I have read onforums things like this are very hard to prove. He has a pending FBI check for a fake name a minor charge involving a friend who stole something. He says family problems should be solved at home otherwise I will go to hell, but it keeps going like a chain. also I cry a lot a needed to let this go today to an old friend through email. I am so scared that he finds out about this thing I posted here. He says if I do something he will fight for the custody of the kids. I am not working, but have BA.
2007-01-10 09:42:42 · 11 answers · asked by DVD-R 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
I am SO sorry that you and your children are going through this. Yes, absolutely what you are experiencing is domestic abuse. The best thing for you to do is to get yourself and your children as far away from that man as you can.
A good first step is to call a women's shelter or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
1-800-787-3224 (TTY for hearing impaired) - they will give you counseling and resources to help you decide you next best step.
I wouldn't worry about hell -sounds to me like you're already in it -what you need to worry about is getting yourself and your children safe. Please trust your gut instinct: this man is violent and could seriously hurt or kill you or your children.
You may not be able to press charges or deal with him legally, but that's secondary to the issue at hand - just get out!
2007-01-10 10:08:17 · answer #1 · answered by Wonderland 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me echo what everyone else has already said, many more eloquently than I can: YES, what this person is doing to you is classic domestic violence. I should point out that the violence is only the most obvious part of the cycle of abuse and control he is putting you through...by contantly putting you down, making you feel guilty, isolating you from friends and family, making threats about taking your children if you should try to leave him, damaging property, "front stage/back stage" personality (making himself look good to outsiders), all all classic symptoms of domestic violence.
The one thing you do not mention is how long it has been since he has struck you. Most states have statutes of limitation, which permits law enforcement to bring a criminal case for domestic assaults within a certain number of years. If the violence against you is recent, calling the police and reporting the assaults could assist you in getting away from him. I would recommend looking in your phone book for the number of the closest domestic violence shelter (or calling the national hotline) and speaking with an advocate as soon as possible. They can assist you with getting a restraining order, making the decision to call the police, even arranging for temporary safe shelter while you attempt to leaver your abuser.
Please do not delay. You and your children deserve to live a in a violence-free home. Your children learn from the examples they see; chlidren raised viewing domestic violence are much more likely to fall into the same patterns in their own relationships later in life.
If you do decide to call the police, let me give you some encouraging news: domestic violence cases are not hard to prove. So long as you are willing to stand up in court and tell the jury what he did to you, the fact that there are no pictures of the injuries means very little. The biggest problem with criminal cases of domestic violence is when the victim changes her story and denies the abuse. Even then, many domestic batterers all over the country are still held responsible for their violence.
Good luck. I hope you and your chldren get safe soon.
2007-01-10 13:40:22 · answer #2 · answered by vtattyguy2004 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello there, yes any form of making you feel guilty, pushing you, hitting you, calling you names, spitting in your face, taking the money away from you to spend or not letting you have any, not letting you go out, go out with friends, not letting you use the phone etc.. are all forms of domestic abuse, as I have been charged with domestic abuse before and had to take classes for 26 weeks, 1 day a week for 2 hours each time. I suggest you get help immediately, your saftey and the babies is what matters at this point in time...be scared no longer.
2007-01-10 10:09:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said you have family about 100 miles away, I'm almost positive if you called and told them about your situation, they would help you. Report him so it's filed in case he ever starts anything with you in the future even after you are out of his control. You won't go to hell for reporting him or leaving him, thats just something else he is telling you to make you stay. You don't need him and you and the children will be much better off without him!
2007-01-13 07:46:02 · answer #4 · answered by imnotaprepmorelikealoser 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anytime any man puts his hands on you it's domestic violence he won't be able to take the kids unless he can proof that you're an unfit mother. There are shelters out there that can help you . You say you don't work try calling during the day when he's not there. And please don't stay for the kids !! They see and hear whats going on!!
2007-01-10 12:01:38 · answer #5 · answered by latina_lachula 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do not comprehend the way it extremely works the position you're. right here in Pennsylvania, if there's no underlying custody order already in position, the case must be dealt with contained in the county the position the toddler lives. with regard to the violence topics...if there's no documentation (police comments, etc.), and abuse is asserted, frequently toddler amenities will inspect or the court docket will order a psychological evaluation. desire this helps.
2016-12-28 15:44:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can go to a battered womens shelter. Are you married? ****him. File a complaint, so it is on record. And you can do that w/o pressing charges. Also talk to a cop about it. They rarely take them away from the woman.
2007-01-10 14:31:54 · answer #7 · answered by Morgan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look up "Shelter's for Women" and call the nearest one. Ask what they can do for you, if they can keep you and the children safe. Tell them you want to go where no one can find you, then create a new life for yourself.
Good Luck!
2007-01-10 10:14:19 · answer #8 · answered by madisonian51 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep...its abuse and get out. take the kid and screw. get a restraining order...you'll be granted one under affidavit. Don't worry about custody of the kids...you're the primary caretaker and you'll get custody. Insist upon supervised visitation.
2007-01-10 10:14:07 · answer #9 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find a battered women's shelter and run. . . fast. Don't look back, don't ever think things will change.
2007-01-10 10:09:04 · answer #10 · answered by John H 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋