My son has been throwing tantrums?

Question

Not regular he can't get what he wants tantrums. He gets so angry about any little thing. He stomps his feet and he has thrown his toys when I wasn't in the room. He's 4 years old. I've disciplined hime but nothing is working.

Answer 1

Does he have reason to be angry? Any new changes in his life (move, new school, new sibling, family issues or stress)? If there are any changes, give him a little more love and support.

Temper tantrums are caused by children who are not getting their needs met. If they are not throwing a tantrum because they are tired, sick, or hungry they will throw a tantrum because it feels powerful, they get attention for it, they are testing limits, or they are feeling frustrated.

Avoid punishing or threatening. When he throws a tantrum, do the unexpected. Either walk away or move him to a quiet place (his room, the couch) and say “When you are ready to calm down then you can come back.” Say nothing more than that. This is not a time out because you are not setting a time limit (you controlling him). He returns when he is ready to control himself. He could be getting even angrier because he feels you are trying to control him. You may have to return him to the designated spot before he gets the message. Keep it up!

Empathize with him when he has calmed down. “I can tell you were feeling very (mad, angry, upset, hurt, sad, frustrated). What can we do about that?” Do some problem solving and give him words to use. He will then learn to better express himself.

Help him to feel powerful by saying thing like “Look how fast you can run! You did that by yourself! You stacked every block! You used so many colors on you picture!” These are intrinsic motivators rather than extrinsic rewards ("Good job," stickers, candy).These phrases are great ways to help your son feel powerful, gain confidence, and show attention in a positive way.

Set limits, follow through, and offer choices, not chances. Pick you battles! You can say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" should mean "No" the first time you say it. Say "Yes" as much as possible. Be patient and consistent. Good luck!

Answer 2

my best advise is, be consistent, pick a time out spot and stick with it. EVERY time he decides to get angry put him in the nasty spot and make him STAY there. It is hard work but, if you keep up with it and you have to be consistent, it will work. GOOD LUCK it is hard but, it is the only thing that really works. I used the bottom step and he HATED it... no toys, no books, NOTHING while in that spot....

Answer 3

Maybe you should take him to a behavioral therapist.